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The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.18.13

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 01:00 PM PDT

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where we find ourselves at a critical moment here, folks. Jon Hamm‘s penis hasn’t been seen since February, after which AMC went all Nazi and jackbooted his crotch into hiding to the point that he’s now visibly in pain from the tranquilizer darts they shoot into it before Read More ...

Farrah Abraham Just Made Ted Nugent Look Like A Genius

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 12:00 PM PDT

For the record, I don’t (entirely) mean to keep bringing up how it’s open season on black kids in Florida now, but this time, I thought it’d be nice if we heard an opinion about Travyon Martin that we can all agree encompasses everything that’s wrong with America, starting with the hole it snowballed out Read More ...

Courtney Stodden & Doug Hutchison Apparently Need Sex Counseling

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 11:13 AM PDT

“Just look down at them once, honey, it’s okay. You don’t have to keep making eye contact. No, really, look down. Doug, look down. LOOK DOWN AT MY TITS.” When Courtney Stodden was 16 she married 51-year-old Doug Hutchison then went on to get giant implants the size of her head. So right off the Read More ...

That’s Right, Private Kristen Stewart, Take Off That Uniform And Party With The Chick In The Bikini

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 10:02 AM PDT

Here’s Kristen Stewart on the set of Camp X-Ray where she plays a guard who falls for one of the prisoners even though everyone’s all like, “What? No. He’s dangerous!” But, God, how she wants to have his terrorist baby even if it kills her because the central theme of the movie is that’s what Read More ...

Snooki Changes Form Like A Pokemon. Oh, Good.

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 09:13 AM PDT

Now that we’re free of such annoying burdens as debating whether it’s right or wrong to shoot black kids for not letting you walk up to them in the dark with a vendetta – We’re (mostly) white. What do we care, amirite? – let’s take a moment to fully appreciate whatever the hell it is Read More ...

Maybe Miley Cyrus Dang Ol’ Skirt Weren’t So Short We Wouldn’t Be Seein’ Her Squirrel Covers

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 08:19 AM PDT

And now we’re really back in the swing of things. Here’s Miley Cyrus in London this morning where she rewarded the Royal Empire on its recent legality of gay marriage with a brief showing of her, and I quote, “daddy biskit.” Tradition has it their porches shall now remain free of coons and their moonshine Read More ...

Jennifer Aniston Touched Her Stomach, Sound The Pregnancy Alarm!

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 08:00 AM PDT

I’ve already indulged myself way too much with posts about politics and a nerd show I like, so let’s get back to brass tacks: Recklessly accusing celebrities of being pregnant at the drop of a hat. Here’s Jennifer Aniston walking around New York yesterday touching her stomach which is all I need to see to Read More ...

Tatiana Maslany Got Robbed

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 07:22 AM PDT

After io9 wouldn’t shut up about it, I finally gave Orphan Black a whirl a few weeks back. It takes a few episodes to find its pacing, but after that you’re completely sucked in and here’s where Tatiana Maslany comes in. At one point, and this happened to me around the 8th or 9th episode, Read More ...

Katherine Webb Wore Whatever The Hell This Is And Other News

Posted: 18 Jul 2013 06:34 AM PDT

- Apparently the redheads are reaching critical heat. - England has more freedom than America does now. Let that sink in. - Justin Bieber got his mom’s eye tattooed on his arm, so how long until he spits in it? A day? Couple hours? - Nicole Richie still looks half-okay in Read More ...
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