Cele|bitchy

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• Heidi Bivens’ mom confirms Heidi’s “complicated” meeting with Jennifer Aniston
• Kim Kardashian volunteers for the LA Mission Thanksgiving Dinner
• Angelina Jolie “just can’t hide the crazy” says In Touch Weekly
• Kate Moss is too drunk to have Jamie Hince’s baby, and he’s pissed off
• Enquirer: Lourdes Leon is embarrassed by Madonna’s “cougar” behavior
• George Clooney loves Stacy Keibler because “she’s one of the boys”
• Suri Cruise is in the midst of penning her first novel, a children’s book

Heidi Bivens’ mom confirms Heidi’s “complicated” meeting with Jennifer Aniston Posted: 25 Nov 2011 08:03 AM PST Two weeks ago, the British tabloids had an interesting story about Jennifer Aniston's "secret meeting" with Justin Theroux's ex, Heidi Bivens. I thought the report was likely false, but now Star Magazine has a story that's very similar to the British version, AND Star got somewhat of a confirmation from Heidi's mom that the meeting went down. Now, a I've said time and time again – there's plenty of evidence to suggest that Aniston and Theroux began seeing each other before Justin's relationship with Heidi was over. Heidi moved out of the apartment she shared with Justin in early June. Justin and Jennifer started getting photographed regularly together in May, and reports of their coupledom exist for months before that. Anyway, this alleged meeting between Bivens and Aniston took place in NYC, and the report oozed with sympathy for Aniston, because homewrecking Justin's relationship was so hard on HER, and she just wanted Heidi to know that there were no hard feelings, apparently. Here are some new details and a few new quotes that I wanted to excerpt: Jennifer Aniston took action after she heard Justin Theroux trying to comfort her crying ex on the phone, according to a report, and with Justin's blessing, Aniston's meeting with Heidi Bivens, 35, was set up in a suite at The Mercer hotel in Manhattan. During the meeting, tears were reportedly shed as Jen and Heidi opened up to each other, and afterward, the source adds, "It was like Jen had killed two birds with one stone. She tried to put Heidi's mind at ease, and in doing so, she did the same for herself." It's clear that there is still some soul-searching going on in the immediate aftermath, especially where Heidi is concerned. When asked about her daughter's meeting with Jen, Marilyn Bivens, Heidi's mom, told Star exclusively, "It's a very complicated time for all of us." A friend of Heidi's adds, "She's admitted that something 'big' has happened, but otherwise, she's keeping quiet about it – even to pals she normally confides in." As for Jen, "She's really hoping that there will be no more hard feelings between Heidi and herself," says the source. "It was important for her to tell Heidi that she knows the pain of being cheated on – and that she's never to that to another woman." [From Star Magazine, print edition] I think it's less likely that Aniston "opened up" about how she did not actually homewreck Heidi's 14-year relationship with Justin, and Aniston more likely offered Heidi something to keep her mouth shut. Right? While Heidi strikes me as a class act, what with her lack of a public pity party and her general reticence, Heidi has said before that she would only discuss what went down if and when Justin and Jennifer began discussing it. My theory is that Aniston and her team considered Heidi a possible (sympathetic) bombshell, waiting to explode. So this meeting was a stop-gap measure, and likely an offer of payment for Heidi's pain and suffering. After all, Heidi is the one who had to leave the apartment, the home that she had built with Justin, and by some accounts, Heidi isn't doing that well financially. Considering Jennifer is shelling out money right and left for her boyfriend, I don't think Jennifer would blink an eye as paying off his ex too. Just my opinion. Here are some new photos of Heidi for earlier last weekend. I think this girl is so pretty. Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News & WENN.

Kim Kardashian volunteers for the LA Mission Thanksgiving Dinner Posted: 25 Nov 2011 07:57 AM PST These are photos of Kim Kardashian posing her ass implants off in LA yesterday – Kim "volunteered" for the Los Angeles Mission Thanksgiving Dinner on Wednesday, where it seemed like she spent more time posing for photos and hanging out with celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Zoe Saldana and Kirk Douglas than actually, you know, serving up food to the homeless. Kim had a full face of makeup on too – I don't know why that's bugging me so much. I guess it's because "false eyelashes" don't really say "I am humbly serving up some gravy." And in case you missed the photo shoot (that's what it was), Kim also managed to find the time to give an interview to People Mag: Kim Kardashian may be going through a rough time in her personal life, but there is one thing she’s particularly thankful for this Thanksgiving: her family. “I think the holidays are just about winding down and spending time with your family,” the reality star tells PEOPLE Wednesday at the Los Angeles Mission Thanksgiving Dinner, where she was on hand to help serve food. “That’s what it’s going to be about this year for me.” Kardashian, 31, will be joining the rest of her close-knit clan – including Dancing with the Stars runner-up Rob – for a potluck Thanksgiving meal at mother Kris Jenner’s house. “We’re each cooking a dish, bringing it over and just hanging out,” says Kardashian, 31, who already knows what her culinary contribution will be. “I’m going to make the sweet potato soufflé,” she shares. “It’s really good!” [From People] There were some reports about a week ago that Kim was on "media lockdown" – meaning that she and her mother had decided to lower Kim's profile in the media for a few months, and that Kim wasn't going to be giving interviews (except for an upcoming issue of Allure, apparently). I guess that "media lockdown" story was BS though (of course). What Kim has actually decided to do is some media push-back, publicly playing the victim and painting Kris Humphries as a verbally abusive, fat-hating homophobe, and painting herself as the innocent woman ("girl") who just spends her free time doing charity work for the homeless. Also: she and J. Love should be wearing hairnets. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Angelina Jolie “just can’t hide the crazy” says In Touch Weekly Posted: 25 Nov 2011 07:20 AM PST This week's In Touch Weekly is a doozy. Of course, it's all about how Angelina Jolie is a horrible person and a bad mother because a decade ago she was doing drugs and OMGOMG OMGOMG SHE KISSED HER BROTHER. Something like that. Actually, In Touch editors tried to ground the story in something real – currently, Angelina and Brad are being sued by one of their former assistants, a woman named Ana Charlotiaux. This woman claims she was "wrongfully terminated" simply because she asked for too much time off, and she's brought a lawsuit against Brangelina. In Touch uses the idea that this lawsuit COULD "reveal" horrible information about Angelina (never Brad). But! In Touch didn't speak to Ana Charlotiaux, they only spoke to "another assistant and staffers" who of course remain nameless (and likely fictitious). Here are some highlights from the story: *An old friend says: "Angelina tries to hide it, but she has a crazy side to her that's beyond quirky. In the end, she just can't hide the crazy." *Angelina is still fascinated by blood. "When Angelina's kids get cuts and scrapes, she saves their discarded bandages in a large jar. She thinks she's being edgy and artistic, but to others, she just seems weird." *Angelina's behavior is often compulsive. She's replaced her former drug addictions with shopping online for hours, buying thousands of dollars worth of clothes and jewelry. *Another compulsion: working out. An employee shares, "She locks herself in the basement every day and exercises for hours. No one is to bother her during that time." Apparently, she uses the workouts "as a way to escape her family." *Angelina and Brad love to go out and get bombed. A staffer reveals that while in London, "Angelina and Brad more than once left kids locked up with supervision in their hotel bedrooms and left them behind to go out drinking – a pastime they both seem to enjoy." While in Budapest, Angelina and Brad rented a hotel suit where they enjoyed a nice meal and lots of wine while their kids stayed on an entirely different floor. A staffer says, "They do this quite frequently. They had a bottle of red wine with their meal that night, and then they went down to the bar and drank even more." Then Brad and Angelina slept in the next morning and weren't there for their kids' breakfasts! SCANDAL. *Angelina has weird eating habits, "sometimes eating only one type for days at a time." An employee says, "She became obsessed with soup. Light soups that didn't have a cream base – that became the constant request." A family insider says, "Her daily diet varies – sometimes it will be just green tea and nuts. Other days, it will be red meat and red wine, and then back to tea and some tiny portion of protein. *Although she claims to not care about what's written about her, a source says, "Angelina browses blogs looking for stories about her family." *Angelina throws out leftover food. OMG. *Angelina is "very strict and very hard" with their staff. "One time, a young assistant was pleading and crying to keep her job, but Angelina coldly turned her away." Brad, however, plays the good guy. "He is very easygoing and never fires anyone. It's clear that he's not the boss – she is!" *Angelina isn't a laid-back mom – "She has the kids do their homework over and over until its perfect." *Angelina sometimes skips meals and opts for juice fasts, and sometimes she'll only eat "one bite" of what the chefs prepare. Now, considering the In Touch Weekly article actually featured a photo of Angelina with Photoshopped devil horns (NO JOKE), how seriously should we take it? Isn't this just straight-up anti-Angelina propaganda? The thing is that I could actually believe some of it if it wasn't being twisted around to sound like ANGELINA IS THE DEVIL OMG. Like, I believe Angelina and Brad leave their kids "locked up" in hotel suites (with nannies) while they go out and have a date night. I believe Angelina doesn't eat enough. I believe she probably shops online and has other compulsive behaviors – she seems hyper-organized at times, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if she was OCD. As for the "keeping bloody bandaids in a jar" thing – gross. God knows. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kate Moss is too drunk to have Jamie Hince’s baby, and he’s pissed off Posted: 25 Nov 2011 06:41 AM PST On Thanksgiving, I felt like Kate Moss looks in these photos. My aunt got me drunk on nice Chianti before we even sat down to eat. Sigh… I can no longer hold my liquor. I wonder if Kate Moss can? She's been drinkin' and cokin' and partyin' for so many years, hasn't she built up her tolerance for this kind of lifestyle by now? So why is it that she's still capable of looking so wasted in photos? These are pics from Wednesday night/Thursday morning, with Kate and her husband Jamie Hince leaving The Box in London. Jamie looks like he's been drinking, but he's still capable enough of handling himself. Kate looks like she might pass out on the street. How much did she have to drink if she can still get that wasted? And although she looks blitzed, that face is still so… interesting. Model-y. Anyway, Star Magazine has a story about the "trouble in married paradise" – Jamie is super-pissed that his new wife is still going out and partying all of the time: The tension has been brewing between Kate Moss and Jamie Hince since their July wedding. The couple had a bitter blowup in Paris when his band, The Kills, played a gig there in mid-November. "Kate promised Jamie that once they were married, they'd move to the English countryside and she'd quit drinking and smoking and try for a baby," a source close to the duo tells Star. "But now she's refusing to leave London, and if anything, she's drinking more. He's fed up." "Kate's tellsing pals that Jamie takes her for granted and just sees her as an 'incubator' for a baby," says the source, who adds that Kate is also jealous of the time he spends with his ex, The Kills singer Alison Mosshart. "She says she was a fool to marry him." [From Star Magazine, print edition] Isn't it "on" Jamie? He knew who he was marrying, and he's the dumbass who thought he could "change' her. On the other side, I have noticed that Kate does seem to be partying much more (or much more publicly) since getting married. I kind of hoped she would be more settled once she got married, and that she and Jamie would have a baby too. But it looks like Kate is drowning her newlywed bliss in vodka. I bet Jamie sticks around for a while, though. I do think he loves her. Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

Enquirer: Lourdes Leon is embarrassed by Madonna’s “cougar” behavior Posted: 25 Nov 2011 06:27 AM PST Imagine, just for a moment, the life of Lourdes Leon. Her mother, Madonna, has always been on a Peter Pan sort of mission and, consequently, has refused to age gracefully. This fact is blatantly obvious and evidenced by Madge’s red-carpet getups. Wouldn’t you just die if your mother showed up next to you while wearing this outfit? If Lourdes herself was freaked out by her mother’s sexy (at age 53) getup, I can definitely emphathize. However, it is possible that Lourdes has been surrounded by Madonna’s ways for so long that it might seem normal to have a mom who dresses this way. Yet she cannot possibly comfortable with Madonna regularly dating dudes in their early 20s and still vaguely trying to pretend that these guys are more than just sexual appendages. Well, the Enquirer has heard from a family friend who says that Lourdes is shame-faced at her mother’s behavior in this regard, and she’s had enough: Madcap Madonna, who set the stage for outrageous acts like Lady Gaga, has a fierce new critic — her teen daughter Lourdes. Sources say the 53-year-old superstar, who’s sold more than 210 million albums, has repeatedly embarrassed the 15-year-old by still dressing like she did 30 years ago and dating men young enough to be her daughter’s boyfriend. “Lourdes is telling pals she wished her mother would change and be more like other moms,” revealed a family friend. Ever since the Material Girl hit the scene in 1983, she shocked and delighted fans with wild, sex-rated outfits she wore onstage and off. And in 1992, she published a red-hot coffee table book called “Sex.” “Lourdes loves her mother, and her antics are nothing new, but now that she’s growing up, she doesn’t want anyone to start making fun of her mom and calling her a ‘cougar’” revealed the friend. “Lourdes also wishes her mother would date men closer to her own age. Madonna is seeing Brahim Zaibat, a Muslim, French break-dancer — who at 25 is less than half the singer’s age. Prior to Brahim, she was dating a 23-year-old Brazillian model [Jesus Luz] she met at a 2008 photo shoot in Rio de Janeiro. “Lourdes just wants their lives to be normal sometimes, but her mother never turns it off or tones it down — it’s always ‘Madonna!’” said the friend. The performer has four children — Lourdes by her ex-boyfriend Carlos Leon; Rocco Ritchie, 11, by ex-husband Guy Ritchie; David Banda, 6, whom she adopted from Malawi (Africa), and Chifundo “Mercy” James, 5, also adopted from Malawi. The still-popular entertainer, who dearly loves all her children, insists on being herself. But the sources notes that Lourdes sometimes feels “she is more of a grownup than her mother.” [From Enquirer, print edition, December 5, 2011] I’ve always wondered what Lourdes thinks about Madonna dating guys who could literally be her older brother or, in just a couple of years, legitimate love interests for Lourdes herself. It’s probably quite humiliating for Lourdes to acknowledge that her mother is sexing these guys up in the other room while she tries to sleep. I mean, weren’t most of us creeped out just a bit upon realizing, as teenagers, that our parents had sex? And yet we weren’t tortured enough to virtually witness them having sex with partners who were less than half their ages like Lourdes has endured. Yes, she’s got many advantages and privileges to being Madonna’s daughter, but the trade-off in this scenario probably grosses her out completely. Ugh. As a refresher, here’s Madonna’s latest hot young piece, 23-year-old Brahim (who hilariously wants to make an honest woman of her), as they leave a restaurant together and also walk through the airport with Madonna’s four (other) children. Poor Lourdes. Photos courtesy of Fame and PCN

George Clooney loves Stacy Keibler because “she’s one of the boys” Posted: 25 Nov 2011 06:19 AM PST Earlier this week, we pointed out that George Clooney had just gotten some kind of elbow surgery, as he was photographed with some kind of contraption on his right arm. What was interesting is that it seems like whenever George gets a new, steady girlfriend, he gets mysteriously "injured" – the pattern is so obvious, I tend to think his injuries are sexual, although I have no idea what kind of kinky stuff he's doing at this point. I do know that he seems to LOVE how big and burly Stacy Keibler is, and he gets all excited when he talks about how she could "kick his ass." For her part, Stacy is allowed to tweet about how she and George are "in love" or something. Last weekend she tweeted "You kno its love when your boyfriend has elbow surgery 2 days ago and takes u to a #ravens game…especially when he’s a Bengals fan." Then she added, days later, "LOL! Nobody’s perfect! RT @Skidoo32: @StacyKeibler You know it’s love when you look past somebody being a Bengals fan." So what does the future hold for Stacy and George? Well, things are progressing the same way as Elisabetta and Sarah Larson. George gets loved up with 'em, he moves 'em into his house, and then they start getting ideas and then he dumps 'em. For now, though, I guess Stacy is moving in: By George, she's got him! An insider tells In Touch that George Clooney, 50, who has been taking girlfriend Stacy Keibler to tons of Hollywood events lately, has "asked her to move in with him. George likes Stacy because she's like one of the boys." Except Stacy, 32, is a lot sexier! [From In Touch Weekly, print edition] "She's like one of the boys." I'll bet. I'm not even going to start, actually. I don't think Clooney is gay. I think he likes dumb women (who may or may not have been born that way), and as he gets older, he likes dumb women with increasingly masculine features. What I really think "like one of the boys" means is "George prefers the company of his male friends, and Stacy is happy enough to let him do his own thing." I'm not saying that with a wink and a nudge, either. Clooney prefers the company of men – he prefers to spend time with his dude friends. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Suri Cruise is in the midst of penning her first novel, a children’s book Posted: 25 Nov 2011 05:30 AM PST This past July, Katie Holmes famously declared that daughter Suri is “an amazing athlete, singer and dancer.” Now, Katie can add one more “occupation” to her daughter’s list — author. Of course, Katie can't even be bothered to make sure her daughter attends school during fashion week. My point is that Suri’s parents haven’t exactly made her education a priority in life, yet now they are declaring her a self-made author? For the biological daughter of Tom Cruise, the Xenu-blessed sky is the limit: Suri Cruise, author? According to a family friend, the 5-year-old is currently penning her own children’s book! And her parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, think it’s so good, they plan to publish it when she’s finished. “Suri is smart beyond her years,” the family friend tells In Touch. “Not only is she writing the book, she’s also working on all the illustrations. She is actually very talented for someone so young.” And her parents couldn’t be more proud. “Tom and Katie are careful not to push her too hard, but of course they think she is a little genius,” adds the friend. Although Suri hasn’t come up with a title just yet, the insider reveals the story is about the adventures of a little girl who lives in a big house in Beverly Hills. Sounds like more of an autobiography to us, Suri! [From In Touch, print edition, December 5, 2011] Oh boy. Isn’t that “amazing“? To Katie, everything truly is amazing because she’s been re-programmed that way. In addition, Scientologists essentially believe that children are merely adults in small bodies, but the notion of Suri penning anything more than a few stapled-together pages is ridiculous. Naturally, most parents believe that their kids can walk on water, but most parents also don’t have the money and/or power to get their kid’s random scribblings published as a book. However, I don’t doubt that Tom will eventually strong-arm some poor publisher into doing his daughter’s bidding. And then poor Connor will have just one more reason to rage against the machine. Team Connor. Photos courtesy of Fame

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