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- Crushable Presents: Celebrity Turkey Hands!
- The Muppets‘ Amy Adams’ High School Yearbook Photo Proves She Is A Vampire
- Now You Can Get Married In A Replica Of Kristen Stewart’s Twilight Wedding Dress
- The Roots Express Their Distaste For Michele Bachmann In Song
- Anne Hathaway Keeps Stealing Roles From Jessica Biel
- The Change-Up Costars Olivia Wilde And Jason Bateman Actually Get To Kiss In Their New Movie
- Crushable Quoteable: Kelly Rowland Wants To Be There When Beyonce Gives Birth
- Snooki Scrubs Her Face With Cat Litter
- The 30-Year-Old Man’s Guide To Gossip Girl: All The Pretty Sources
- Orphan Week Essay: Why I’m Thankful I’m Not Going Home For Thanksgiving This Year
| Crushable Presents: Celebrity Turkey Hands! Posted: 22 Nov 2011 11:20 AM PST Remember in kindergarten when you would trace your hand on a piece of construction paper and then turn it into a turkey? Reminiscing on that fun Thanksgiving tradition, we couldn’t help but imagine how various celebrities would decorate their hand-turkeys. (Or would’ve, during their lifetimes—there’s a hint!) See if you can match the distinguishing features to the reality TV, movie, and music stars included here. All turkey hands illustrated by the amazing Emma Charlton! Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| The Muppets‘ Amy Adams’ High School Yearbook Photo Proves She Is A Vampire Posted: 22 Nov 2011 11:10 AM PST A recently unearthed photo from actress Amy Adams‘ high school yearbook shows her looking pretty much the same as she does now, despite the fact that it was taken 20 years ago. There can only be one explanation: along with Justin Bieber, Emma Stone, and Miss Piggy, Amy Adams is a thousand-year-old vampyre. According to The Daily Mail, the 1991 yearbook also contains such Adams gems as “I go for increased height through the hair” (quoted in the “trends” section), and “The reason why I hate shopping is because you get these obnoxious sales ladies all over you and touching your hair.” Who knew high school Amy Adams was so obsessed with her hair? The reason, of course, that people are attempting to dig up dirt on this relatively un-tabloid-y actress right now is because The Muppets, in which the now-37-year-old Adams costars, is coming out this week. Unfortunately for the diggers, the most scandalous thing this photo reveals is that unlike most people in Hollywood, she probably has not had plastic surgery. Now let’s all watch this trailer and get psyched for The Muppets. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| Now You Can Get Married In A Replica Of Kristen Stewart’s Twilight Wedding Dress Posted: 22 Nov 2011 10:45 AM PST Have you fantasized about your wedding since you were a little kid? Is your dream husband a 110-year-old dude who can’t go out in the sun? Do you fantasize about him taking you home and bruising you up with sex? Then you should probably buy this replica of the dress Kristen Stewart wore to marry her vampire love in Twilight. A replica of the Carolina Herrera dress Bella Swan wore in Breaking Dawn is now available from design house Alfred Angelo. The gown retails for $799, and was actually sanctioned by Carolina. It features a hundred buttons down the back and has the ability to make men want to throw you down on the bed and put a demon baby inside of you. Happy marrying, Twilight fans! Don’t forget to practice your blood sucking before the big day. (via NBC) Post from: Crushable  |
| The Roots Express Their Distaste For Michele Bachmann In Song Posted: 22 Nov 2011 10:12 AM PST Last night, crazy-eyed bully apologist Michele Bachmann was a guest on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Perhaps to make up for the incredibly boring, softball questions they knew Jimmy was going to ask her, house band The Roots decided to have a bit of fun with her intro music. Their choice for her walk on song? Fishbone’s 1985 classic “Lyin’ Ass Bitch,” a fitting theme for someone who lies freely and alarmingly until it seems like she’s “equal parts crazed Divine Wind kamikaze-for-Jesus and calculating, six-faced Machiavellian prevaricator.” This isn’t the first time the band has slyly commented on one of Jimmy’s guests; when Ashlee Simpson was on the show, for instance, they played Milli Vanilli‘s “Girl You Know It’s True” (a reference to her lipsyncing), while Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got to walk out to Beck‘s “Loser.” What’s that it says in Bachmann’s favorite book? “Whatsoever a fame whore soweth, that shall he also reap.” Drummer Questlove let on that this was going to happen in a tweet he sent out before the show: For his part, Jimmy Fallon remains as blandly non-confrontational as ever:
(Via The Washington Post) Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| Anne Hathaway Keeps Stealing Roles From Jessica Biel Posted: 22 Nov 2011 09:17 AM PST In the December issue of Elle, Jessica Biel complains about Hollywood’s inability to recognize her talents and give her the roles she deserves. Over the course of the article, she complains about not one but two roles she wanted that went instead to Anne Hathaway: Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises and Fantine in Les Miserables. As you know, this is clear evidence that Biel hates Hathaway’s guts and wants to have her murdered. So what if she doesn’t mention her directly? Via Page Six:
First of all, having been in I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry will not help you get a part in anything cool, as well it shouldn’t. Second, I think she just told us the reason she didn’t get Les Mis; she got nervous and fucked up the audition. But what lie does she tell herself about why she doesn’t get parts that enables her to sleep at night? The Elle interviewer didn’t ask, but a few years ago, Biel told Allure that she wasn’t getting good roles because she’s too pretty (no, really). “It really is a problem, I have to be blunt,” she said. Funny how that isn’t a problem for Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, or, I don’t know, any successful actress ever. Taken together, this information can only mean one thing: Jessica Biel thinks Anne Hathaway is stealing parts from her because she is uglier than her. Presumptuous! Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| The Change-Up Costars Olivia Wilde And Jason Bateman Actually Get To Kiss In Their New Movie Posted: 22 Nov 2011 08:55 AM PST A photographer snapped this shot of Jason Bateman kissing costar Olivia Wilde while shooting The Longest Week in New York City. And I have to say, good for them! One of my biggest complaints about The Change-Up was that Jason’s character never got to enjoy being stuck in Ryan Reynolds‘ body; he was so neutered by marriage that he wouldn’t even have a fling with his assistant, played by Olivia Wilde. What’s meant to be a redeeming moment comes off as disappointing. Maybe that movie’s writers thought that no one would take seriously that an older, doofy guy like Jason could bag a hot young thing like Olivia. To which I say, this kiss is pretty hot. So what is The Longest Week about, anyway? Jason plays rich man-child Conrad Valmont, who lives in his parents’ hotel and refuses to get a job. But of course, everything changes when he falls for his best friend’s girlfriend, played by Olivia. (We’re assuming that best friend is Billy Crudup, the next big name in the movie.) Deadline bills this as a comedy, though we’re hoping it’ll have a little more heft than Russell Brand‘s similar movie Arthur. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| Crushable Quoteable: Kelly Rowland Wants To Be There When Beyonce Gives Birth Posted: 22 Nov 2011 09:04 AM PST
If you recall, Kelly accidentally revealed the sex of the unborn child, saying that Jay-Z is going to “buy that little girl everything possible.” Then, she went on to get the kid a $7,000 crystal-covered bathtub. So what’s going on with this proclamation that she plans to witness the birth? In the face of increasing evidence that Beyonce’s faking her pregnancy, there are two possibilities here: either Kelly’s got the wool pulled over her eyes as well, or she’s offering some well-placed quotes to add authenticity to Beyonce’s pregnancy claims. “Kelly Rowland saw the infant emerge from Beyonce’s body, so it must have really happened!” (via Huffington Post) Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| Snooki Scrubs Her Face With Cat Litter Posted: 22 Nov 2011 08:29 AM PST Post from: Crushable  |
| The 30-Year-Old Man’s Guide To Gossip Girl: All The Pretty Sources Posted: 22 Nov 2011 09:06 AM PST
I don't have many real friends in my life, but those I do have, I've known most of my life. I know them so well, in fact, I often say I love my friends and hate them in equal measure. But there isn't one person who I call a friend that I wouldn't kill for. What is that? Why do we create relationships based purely in choice, which require no legal commitment, offer no financial reward, or grant any physical pleasure? C.S. Lewis once said, " Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival." And that's the real answer, I guess. Friends, true friends, enrich a drab existence. They prop us up. They hold us back when we need it, and push us forward when we need it more. Every day spent in a friendship is a decision that's made because that other person makes our life better somehow. That's what Gossip Girl was about this week. The episode begins with Louis questioning the motives of Blair's closest friends, and as her bridal shower unfolds, Blair begins to wonder if Louis might be right. Serena comes through for her best friend in the end, throwing a shower that is so perfectly her, even Louis recognizes it in the moment. When Nate gains access to Gossip Girl's source list, he decides not to publish the information in order to protect his friends' reputations, even though he knows it's just the information his girlfriend needs to keep her job. Chuck puts his narcissism aside in an attempt to help Dan reinvent himself, and emerge from his isolation, and when he loses control of his new creation, he corrals Dan at Blair's shower to prevent him from ruining her big day. Each of the principle characters chose to remain in their friendships this week even though it required a level of sacrifice to do so. All for the value those friendships gave to their survival. Other things: • How terrible was the editing in this episode? The coverage shots were choppier than a cruise on the S.S. Minnow. Most of the time, dialogue started while we're looking at the back of a stand-in who obviously wasn't talking. That's seriously abusing my suspension of disbelief. • I don't think Chuck found those prostitutes in the Voice's classified section. • Max was wearing a button-down shirt that wasn't buttoned-down. s this a thing now? If it's a thing, why is it a thing? hy not just buy a shirt with a regular collar? I am s confused. • That Ashton Kutcher commercial where he's taking pictures of all those girls offers a whole new level of irony now. • I understand Dan's desire to be a man of action. It's what every real man aspires to. But men of action don't get bent out of shape when they aren't invited to a bridal shower, and they certainly don't get drunk and crash said bridal shower. Men of action bottle up their feelings and sleep with prostitutes. And they die of heart attacks at forty-three. • I still don't understand how Nate's grandfather thinks setting him up as editor of a gossip rag will rehabilitate his image. Go ask Rupert Murdoch how well that's worked. Next week we'll find out how serious the rift between Louis and Blair really is. In the meantime I'll start looking for more C.S. Lewis quotes. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
| Orphan Week Essay: Why I’m Thankful I’m Not Going Home For Thanksgiving This Year Posted: 22 Nov 2011 09:08 AM PST
The truth is, while I'll miss celebrating the holiday with my family, I'm looking forward to avoiding certain things. And no, I'm not referring to the judgment cast by my grandmother for biting my nails or for not sitting up straight, nor am I referring to the always-hellish experience of holiday airline travel. (Last year I was assigned a seat that had no cushion. Just a raw, curved piece of plastic. Good times.) No, I'm referring to the even more harrowing experience of running into people I knew in high school around my hometown when I least expect it.  Like most people, I'm friends with what seems like all of my elementary, junior high, and high school classmates on Facebook. And like most people, that doesn't mean I actually want to know all of them anymore. It's actually become a little more awkward to run into some people when I go home to Atlanta, because now I know things about them that I wouldn't have necessarily known had Facebook not existed. For instance, a girl I've known since third grade is always going on about attending anti-abortion rallies. It's weird enough to read about them from my couch in New York, but it's far weirder to run into her at the grocery store when I'm visiting in Georgia. Now that I know that's something she's into, I can't push it to the back of my mind. It's like everyone I see walks around with funny labels because I have such a compressed understanding of who they are now. For all I know, the anti-abortion rally girl has taken up watercolors and enjoys mountain biking, but because of what she posts on Facebook, I simply see her as Anti-Abortion Rally Girl and not as the person who taught me all the words to Cantaloop during P.E. It happens all the time, and it feels unfair of me to label people like I do. I'll spy a former chemistry lab partner across the bar and think to myself, "Ah, Mitch. Sports Guy. Is there a football game he hasn't commented on in the last five years?" Or, "Hey, there's that former cheerleader who talks about NOTHING but her kids on Facebook. Maybe I should avoid her in the checkout line." I'm sure people do the same thing when they see me, but despite all of this, we continue to make half-assed conversation and exchange pleasantries as though we still have something in common other than graduating from the same high school. But most of the time, we don't. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
In yet another twist in Beyonce‘s is she/isn’t she pregnant story, buddy Kelly Rowland has vowed to be in the room when Mrs. Jay-Z gives birth. Evidently, Kelly missed the birth another friend’s baby due to work conflicts and had to watch the whole thing over Skype. Ew! So she has vowed not to make the same mistake 
Friendship is a complicated thing. It's different than marriage, there's less commitment and no legal framework. It's not a romance, exactly. Attraction and sex don't define friendships the way they do with lovers. It's not a business transaction; financial reward is never the foundation of a true friendship.
This Thanksgiving, I'll give thanks for food, friends, and family (not necessarily in that order), but for the first time in my life, I won't be spending the holiday passing the cranberry sauce to my mom or watching my dad awkwardly carve the turkey. Instead, I'll be spending it more than a thousand miles away in my adopted home of Brooklyn, and I couldn't be happier.
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