Cele|bitchy |
- Duchess Kate “has never had a trainer” and she “hates dieting”: oh really?!?
- Us Weekly: Sienna Miller is pregnant and not engaged, sources claim
- LeAnn Rimes tweets about her stretch marks, and offers to pose for Playboy
- Radar: Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis are “headed for a split”
- Is Brad Pitt walking with a cane because Angelina Jolie kneecapped him?
- Tiger Woods’ ex wife Elin tears down 12 million dollar home: wasteful or normal?
- Rooney Mara in a Michael Kors mullet dress: goth perfection or try-hard fail?
- Beyonce had an extra-special birthin’ weave made for the delivery of her baby
- Enquirer: Jim Carrey has become a classic ‘sugar daddy’ for his new girlfriend
- The ‘Haywire’ premiere was full of man-candy, but Michael Fassbender wasn’t there!
| Duchess Kate “has never had a trainer” and she “hates dieting”: oh really?!? Posted: 06 Jan 2012 08:55 AM PST Duchess Kate turns 30 years old on Monday. She's six months older than William – and I believe Camilla Parker-Bowles is older than Charles as well, right? So, given that Kate is now a member of the royal family and given that she has pretty much spent the first 30 years of her life unemployed, wandering around getting her hair done and doing a spot of shopping, you'd think that everyone would be going all out for her birthday party. Not so! A palace spokesman said that Kate's birthday plans are going to be on the DL: "Whatever is planned will be low-key and private." I have a theory – Kate doesn't want to remind people that she's older than William. She doesn't want to remind people that she's 30 years old, yet gets treated like a lay-about teenager, praised for doing the bare minimum. She doesn't want to remind people that she's not pregnant yet as she's entering her 30s, which makes her an oddity in the royal family (the royal women tend to get knocked up in their 20s). Really, though, I'm just writing this post because I wanted to talk about this article that Us Weekly published yesterday. It's all about how we too can stay "fit" like Duchess Kate.
[From Us Weekly] BULLS–T. Kate didn't go from a pleasantly athletic, healthy figure to a really, really skinny figure by just doing three workouts a week and eating oatmeal. Yes, Kate was already thinning herself out circa 2008-10, but she still had an athletic, healthy-looking build. Then when the engagement came, it seemed like she was losing weight for the wedding, and then it just kept coming off until she looked like she could snap like a twig. She was on diet, and my guess is that it was an intense one. She's also a smoker, although she doesn't want you to know that – she was allegedly smoking a lot to keep the weight off all of last year. Last Kate story, I swear – People Magazine has a lengthy interview with Diana's former protection officer Ken Wharfe, who often comments about the security concerns of the royal family. Wharfe says that it's horrible that Kate and William's security plans for their multi-million-dollar Kensington Palace renovation were made public. I don't know why we should be upset, though. Aren't we being sold an image of William and Kate as simple country folk who are happiest in Wales? Why would they ever need to be in London, right? Oh, what's that? That's just a BS image that the palace is trying to sell? Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.      |
| Us Weekly: Sienna Miller is pregnant and not engaged, sources claim Posted: 06 Jan 2012 07:59 AM PST OMG!!!!!!! HUGE news. Well, I find the news to be really big, but maybe you'll be like, "MEH." First bombshell: Sienna Miller is knocked up! Second bombshell: She knows who the father is! The baby-daddy is Tom Sturridge, that poor, scruffy English boy who has to deal with Sienna's endless "LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!! PAY ATTENTION" antics. Really, though – good on Sienna. She's had a much lower profile the past few years (post-Balthazar Getty), and this is an interesting move for her.
[From Us Weekly] I always forget that Tom is younger than her – because she seems so young and immature, probably. Tom is BFFs with Robert Pattinson, and Tom and Rob have gotten together with their girls before, which caused some minor Twihard scandals. While I don't think Tom and Sienna are going to last as a couple, I do wish them well. I might even consider Sienna a reformed bad girl at this point – babies are the elixir that solve all kinds of image problems, you know. Good luck to Sienna and Tom! Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.    |
| LeAnn Rimes tweets about her stretch marks, and offers to pose for Playboy Posted: 06 Jan 2012 07:32 AM PST Another day, another bikini extravaganza from LeAnn Rimes. She switched up her bikinis from the last photo op, which we discussed yesterday. I kind of wish we had more photos of LeAnn's completely and utterly SET-UP photo shoot at the beach from a few days ago, just because the photographer got some shots of her that were just… WRONG. Go here to see some of the bad pics. In any case, you can enjoy these new photos of LeAnn prancing her way in and out of a bathroom. Barefoot. The bare feet thing is… well, I think it's gross, but then again, I find LeAnn's bikini-ops to be pretty gross too. The most hilarious part (to me) is that I really feel like in LeAnn's mind, she's owning this photo shoot. Like, she's walking in slow motion, tossing back her hair, making sure each butt cheek "pops" for the camera. In between her slow-motion hair tosses for the paparazzi, LeAnn has been tweeting about her bikini body, of course. Someone was yelling about her stretch marks, I guess? And she said she's "proud" of her body, she's had stretch marks "since I was 8" and that "I'm real… most of me"… which I suppose is an admission of her bolt-ons. LeAnn also tweeted about whether or not she would pose for Playboy, writing "They’ve asked 3 times. MOM would KILL me but flattering Photos courtesy of Fame.    |
| Radar: Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis are “headed for a split” Posted: 06 Jan 2012 07:26 AM PST A few weeks ago, Star Magazine had an interesting story about Johnny Depp. According to their sources, Depp has been acting kind of crazy lately because he's in the midst of an alcohol-soaked mid-life crisis. Vanessa Paradis, his partner of more than a decade, is not amused. Allegedly, Vanessa has basically told him to go away, get his act together, and then come back to her and the children. Meanwhile, Johnny is still partying and working and basically acting like a single dude. Now, Radar and Star are owned by the same parent company, and this Radar story sounds a lot like Star's report – but I still find it interesting.
[From Radar] On one side, it's really sad to think that Johnny and Vanessa could be headed for a split. They have an unconventional relationship in general – and I'm not just talking about the whole "famously unmarried" stuff. In Depp's interviews over the past few years, I find it remarkable how often he and Vanessa are not in the same city. She's rarely with him while he's on location, and it just doesn't seem like they spend that much time together in general. So… that's sad. On the other hand, it would certainly be interesting to see Johnny Depp as a single bachelor in his 40s, right? How many A-list women would try to hop on that? I think Penelope Cruz and Marion Cotillard might have a head start. Maybe even Amber Heard… Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Is Brad Pitt walking with a cane because Angelina Jolie kneecapped him? Posted: 06 Jan 2012 07:23 AM PST Breaking news: Brad Pitt is old. He's so old, his bones are brittle and his joints ache. He's so old, he has to walk with a cane. Seriously! These are photos of Brad walking with a cane "while leaving a skin care spa" on Thursday in Beverly Hills. Sorry I buried the lead: Brad Pitt gets fancy facials in Beverly Hills. While using a cane! Anyhoodle, since I can just feel your fingers itching to write something nasty about how I totally HATE OLD PEOPLE and how Brad really isn't that old – chillax, bitches! Brad is old, compared to me (sort of). Brad is still a very youthful man, I think. And as for the cane – he actually has a medical reason for it, and it doesn't involve Angelina whipping his old ass until he busted something. Well, actually…
[From Us Weekly] Maybe Brad and George Clooney have more in common than we think. I've long assumed that all of George's injuries from the past few years are sexcapade-related, and now I'm wondering if Angelina didn't kneecap Brad for mentioning the name "Jennifer Aniston." Only Angelina would kneecap her man and then send him out to get a facial. "Bitch, if you don't exfoliate, I'm gonna cap that ass." Photos courtesy of Fame.    |
| Tiger Woods’ ex wife Elin tears down 12 million dollar home: wasteful or normal? Posted: 06 Jan 2012 07:01 AM PST
[From The Palm Beach Post] Well Tiger is still building an insane compound on Jupiter Island worth nearly $50 million, according to that article in the Palm Beach Post. We heard last year that construction was finished, but he’s still working on it. Compared to him Elin is playing it pretty safe. So if you had, let’s see, $110 million dollars by some estimates, would you spend over 10 percent of it on a house and then tear it down and spend a couple million more building another house, just because you could? Maybe, since a lot of people spend 30 percent and more of their income buying a home. Still, it’s hard to fathom buying something worth that and destroying it, even if you had the money. Elin’s house before: Elin’s house before: Elin’s house after:       Elin is shown in Miami on 12-2-11, credit: Fame. Home photos credit: CelebrityHomePhotos.com    |
| Rooney Mara in a Michael Kors mullet dress: goth perfection or try-hard fail? Posted: 06 Jan 2012 05:44 AM PST Yesterday, I said I would be more than happy if Rooney Mara's stylist gave up the "corpse bride/secretary" aesthetic and simply let Rooney own a "glamour goth" style. I believe that some shade of goth is basically the only thing that works on Rooney currently, given that she's still pretty much in character as Lisbeth Salander, and given her extremely pale skin and whatever that Spock monstrosity is on her head. So, is Rooney listening to me? These are photos from the Berlin premiere of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Rooney wore this chic Michael Kors mullet dress that she comes close to pulling off. I don't like the dress, but it sort of works on her. I'd still like to see her do something different with her hair and makeup, of course. But at least she's not wearing a beige pile of cat sick. I also wonder about Daniel Craig – wearing jeans for the premiere? Really, Mr. Bond? Daniel gets hooked up with some of the finest Saville Row suits out there, and he wears jeans to the premiere? He must already be over it. And why didn't Rachel Weisz come out for this premiere? Maybe she was just looking for a free trip to Spain, and she didn't feel like going to Berlin. PS… Rooney has some very severe angles, doesn't she? I've seen photos where she looks angelic and lovely, and then there are too many photos where she just looks like the Grinch. It's rough. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Beyonce had an extra-special birthin’ weave made for the delivery of her baby Posted: 06 Jan 2012 05:02 AM PST I really am surprised that Beyonce hasn't given birth ("given birth") this week. Of course, the day isn't over, and she could totally pull a Perry-Brand and announce the miraculous birth late today, a Friday afternoon or evening. Is that Bey's style though? No, she wants to dominate the news, and announcing something late on a Friday just doesn't feel domination-worthy. I also have a theory that we haven't heard anything about Bey this week because there's only so much magic that can be done with pillows, you know? If Beyonce is seen, she needs to look ready to pop at any moment. And that ain't happening. In Touch has a great/hilarious/ridiculous story about Beyonce's other preparations for the birth. She and Jay have apparently booked a special "luxury birthing suite" which includes a private kitchen. Which I think it gross. Why are you thinking about food when you're supposed to be birthin' a baby? Placenta and paella don't mix. But the best part of the story is totally the bit about the birthin' weave.
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition] Is it wrong that I totally believe that? Yes, I believe that Beyonce had a special weave made just for the birth of her child. She will wear this special weave when she picks the baby up from the surrogate, I guess. Anyway, I have my fingers crossed that Bey keeps her legs crossed (and the surrogate does the same) until Monday. Gift us with a baby during regular business hours, Oh Great and Powerful Beysus! Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Enquirer: Jim Carrey has become a classic ‘sugar daddy’ for his new girlfriend Posted: 06 Jan 2012 04:47 AM PST Over the holidays, Jim Carrey was photographed with his new “mystery girlfriend” at a Guns ‘n’ Roses concert. As details have filtered in about this young woman, revealed by Page Six to be a Russian socialite named Anastasia Vitkina, her age has remained nebulous. She’s currently a design student in New York and the ex of one of Jim’s friends, David Schoonmaker. By unverified accounts, Anastasia might be as young as twenty-three years, but according to The Enquirer, she’s at least two decades younger than Jim, who has reportedly been quite happy to act as a “Sugar Daddy” to his new girlfriend:
[From Enquirer, print edition, January 16, 2012] Well, I don’t really know what to think about this relationship. Jim’s seemed really off kilter ever since he and Jenny McCarthy broke up, which may or may not have been because he went off his meds. Then he dated some random 24-year-old model and professed his love for Emma Stone in that creepy video. But hey, if he’s happy with this new young lady, I guess that’s fine too. It must be really weird for his daughter to watch him date someone her age, but I’m afraid that’s all too commonplace these days. Maybe Jim’s really found lasting love this time. Or at least some good sex. After all, he hasn’t boing-tweeted since late November. And the internet has rejoiced. Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Fame        |
| The ‘Haywire’ premiere was full of man-candy, but Michael Fassbender wasn’t there! Posted: 06 Jan 2012 04:19 AM PST I can't even begin to describe how depressed I am this morning. When I was first looking through the morning photos, my heart skipped a beat when I saw that the LA premiere of Haywire was held last night. That could only mean one thing: My Fassy. Michael Fassbender has a supporting role in the Steven Soderbergh film, which stars Gina Carano as a Jason Bourne-esque CIA operative who goes rogue after the agency tries to kill her. Fassbender plays the hit man who is first assigned to take her out. It does not end well for him, unfortunately. Anyway, Fassy wasn't there. SON OF A…! There are no photos of The Beast Within. He was probably off somewhere, wrecking some lucky bitch's sweetshop. So we're left with this assortment of dongs. It's a decent gathering of dudes, but I'm still disappointed. I'm including photos of Ewan McGregor and his wife Eve, who… look, I'm sure Eve is a lovely woman, she's raising four girls out of the spotlight, and Ewan seems to just adore her. BUT HER HAIR. Good God. Meanwhile, Ewan is a vampire. He's 40 years old! He could pass for late 20s. Here's Channing Tatum and Gina Carano. Gina's dress is lovely – I like that she got all decked out for her first big premiere for her first starring role. Also: Channing is HUGE. Jesus. Channing with his wife Jenna Dewan. I think Jenna is a really pretty girl, in that cute girl-next-door way. I don't like her hair either, though. Matt Bomer was there, for no reason than he likes wearing suits, I guess. He's so pretty, it hurts. Melanie Griffith… I don't even know. No comment. Joe Manganiello – random beefcake. He looks nice here, though. He and Bomer are tight, so maybe they had a boys' night out to support Soderbergh, who they both worked with on that male-stripper movie. Based on Channing Tatum's early years. Joe is playing Big Dick Richie, just FYI. Dominic Monaghan – random Hobbit. Photos courtesy of Fame.    |
" She's been asked to pose for Playboy three times? Good God. 
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