Cele|bitchy

Gwen Stefani in black Georges Chakra couture: botoxy or bad lighting?
Katy Perry goes for goth at the NARM awards: ridiculous or not that bad?
Jada Smith and her mom drop emotional bombshells on Willow, 11. Unfair?
Has Brad Pitt been encouraging his ladies to lose weight this whole time?
Bristol Palin has some convoluted thoughts about Obama’s gay marriage stance
Eva Mendes steps out in NYC with Ryan Gosling, ‘the most precious thing to me’
Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Kitsch & Liam Neeson: who would you rather?
Charlize Theron refuses to give up her leather pants & stilettos for baby Jackson
Pregnant Sienna Miller drank champagne & wine during her Italian babymoon
Jessica Simpson gained “80 pounds” and Maxi is “like a little Butterball turkey”

Gwen Stefani in black Georges Chakra couture: botoxy or bad lighting?

Posted: 11 May 2012 08:33 AM PDT

These are some new photos of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale at The Heart Foundation Gala last night. I have to admit, I was taken aback when I first looked through these photos, because there are several really bad shots of Gwen. Like, the lighting is off, she's making a weird face, and… she looks (whispers) Botoxy. CB and I were debating Gwen's alleged Botox-face this morning, and while my immediate reaction was "I'm so sad Gwen turned into a Botox-monster," I think I might have to revise my opinion. While I still think Gwen has been injected (and tweaked), I don't think it's as awful as I originally thought. Some of these pics are like the "perfect storm" of unflattering photos. Still, can you spot the difference between Gwen before and Gwen after?

Right? Well, if you don't agree with me, that's fine. What's weird is that Gwen is – in my opinion – vampiric in her agelessness. She's looked the same for so long, it's hard to believe that she's 42 years old.

As for Gwen's gown, it's Georges Chakra Couture. I kind of love it on her. It's great – very sophisticated, but with a twist. As for Gavin… look at that Widow's Peak. All of a sudden, he reminds me Coté de Pablo!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Katy Perry goes for goth at the NARM awards: ridiculous or not that bad?

Posted: 11 May 2012 08:03 AM PDT

At last night’s NARM Music Biz Awards, Katy Perry (who won the “Artist of the Year” award) decided to go for the gothy, hardcore look that she also tried to pull off (with slightly more success) during Paris Fashion Week. Katy donned a black, sheer-panelled dress that looked fine on her body, but it just wasn’t Katy at all, and dark lipstick is nothing that she should attempt ever again. Perhaps I’m being too cruel here, but this look is suspicious to me in light of Katy’s recent declaration that “my music is about get real f&#*ing dark.“ So Katy’s look is very calculated here, but I guess that’s par for the Perry course.

Now I might have liked this dress a little bit more if it had ended as a miniskirt and dispensed with all of the panelling underneath. Katy could’ve actually rocked this look with a much shorter skirt and an updo. Instead, Katy looks like a slutty, pop-tart version of Morticia Adams who just colored her own hair in the high-school locker room.

Even Katy’s studded Louboutin heels fit the ill-advised, faux-gothy theme of the night.

In this closeup, you can really see how little Katy’s plum-colored hair compliments her coloring. She really needs to go back to black hair, but even the blue was preferable to this.

Lisa Marie Presley showed up (in pants?) with her husband, Michael Lockwood. His hair is shorter now and looks much less “Tom Petty” these days. She’s still got the best bitchface in the business.

Brandy Norwood was there too and wearing an uncomfortable looking little black number. She’s got such a hot body, but the hair is a little bit too much for the entire ensemble.

Here’s Haley Reinhart (she was one of the top three on “American Idol,” season 10) in a kicky little dress. She must have thought she was attending the CMAs.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Jada Smith and her mom drop emotional bombshells on Willow, 11. Unfair?

Posted: 11 May 2012 07:36 AM PDT

AOL and the Huffington Post are premiering a new Internet video series on called “Red Table Talks.” The first video will air on Mother’s Day and features Jada Pinkett Smith, 40, her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones, and Jada’s daughter, 11 year-old music star Willow Smith. It’s being billed as a kind of inter-generational women’s discussion fostering family communication, and the promo videos feature heavy-handed music and some segments that suggest that painful secrets are revealed. In one part Willow is shown breaking down crying. One of the promo videos (above) shows Jada’s very young-looking mom, Adrienne, admitting to her granddaughter that she was a bad mother. In another video (below), Adrienne admits she was addicted to drugs until her daughter Jada was in her late teens. I wonder if this is the first time Willow’s grandmother has told her that, and if it’s at all fair to this little girl to drop such a bombshell and then tape and publicly air her reaction. Here’s more, from Huffington Post, including what Willow says about how she doesn’t want to be famous. I know a lot of people say this child is spoiled, and she may be, but this is all she knows. She has had a stylist since the age of 9 and is regularly seen on the red carpet with her family. They’ve encouraged her music career – as a tween. The fact that they’re featuring her in this new video series kind of brings it home to me that they’re treating her like an adult before she’s ready.

n celebration of Mother's Day on May 13, Jada Pinkett-Smith discusses motherhood, quality time and life in the limelight with her daughter, Willow Smith, and mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, in an upcoming video discussion, “Red Table Talk”.

During the candid discussion, the 40-year-old actress questioned Willow's career interests and asked her whether or not she would change anything about her life.

"If I had to change one thing about my life, it would probably be, I wouldn't be famous," the 11-year-old singer admitted. "Because when you're famous it's so hard. Let's say if a regular girl is going to the book store, it's ten times harder to go everywhere [when you're famous]. But some people are like, 'Oh, it's so easy,' and I'm like, 'As fast as you can get there, it's going to take me ten more minutes to get there.' Because I have to call security."

Echoing her daughter, Pinkett-Smith said that security has been a "real issue" for Willow and asked her for tips on how to make her lifestyle more seamless.

But the actress acknowledged that fame has its advantages, too.

"It's not like I can't reverse being famous," she added. “Sometimes I don't want to be, but then sometimes I do because when there's a problem in the world, more people will listen to me… it's kind of like helping people and if I'm not, then I can't help people as much as I would if I was famous."

The former “HawthoRNe” star says she hopes to advance the conversation into a series of ongoing discussions.

“My belief is that communication is the best way to create strong relationships," she asserts in the series trailer. "Just for people to be able to sit down together and have a conversation, that’s the power of love. Love is what sometimes holds us and binds us when we’re not so happy. If we concentrate on how much we can love one another, we can get through all the other stuff."

[From Huffington Post]

Maybe I’m too old school, and I’ll admit to nearly being Jada’s age. This is too much family drama for me to be comfortable airing in public, and I actually don’t think it’s fair to Willow. Mother daughter issues run deep, and they do get passed down through the generations. I get how it’s very positive for this family to admit that they have problems and to talk about them. I understand how they feel they’re helping others by encouraging communication. This is the type of celebrity openness that Oprah helped foster, and it’s the norm now. Willow is just 11 years old, though, she’s not even a teenager yet. She’s barely able to understand these things about her family and yet they’re sharing them with her and videotaping her reaction. Sure she’s a little pop star, but she says here that she doesn’t want to be famous, and that she wants a normal life. Part of that would involve making sure these type of family discussions stay behind closed doors. I just feel protective of her, because it seems like her family is thrusting her into the spotlight before she’s emotionally ready.

Here’s the video where Willow says she doesn’t want to be famous and Adrienne admits she was addicted to drugs until Jada was 17 or 18. Willow is shown crying around :57.

Has Brad Pitt been encouraging his ladies to lose weight this whole time?

Posted: 11 May 2012 05:53 AM PDT

The Enquirer has an interesting story this week about Angelina Jolie and her overanalyzed figure. What I find interesting is that Angelina isn't being set up as the demon/shrew/narcissist/drama-queen, and Brad Pitt isn't being set up as the savior/wimp/weeping man-child. That being said, The Enquirer is really just "reporting" something that many of us had noticed a long time ago – that whenever a woman gets with Brad Pitt, her body changes, and it's almost always a noticeable weight loss. Gwyneth lost weight when she was with Brad. Same with Jennifer Aniston. And while Angelina's weight varied in the pre-Brad years, she's mostly been "underweight" (minus her two pregnancies) in the more seven years they've been together. So… at some point, it's less about HER issue and more about BRAD'S issue with his lady's figure, right?

Angelina Jolie has scared fans with her gaunt, skeletal figure – and it appears Brad Pitt is the architect of her frightening weight loss. Brad prefers his ladies to be rail-thin, and he lets them know it, say insiders.

"Brad doesn't come out and demand his women be skinny, but in a not-so-subtle manner, he drops hints," revealed a close source. "If he's constantly comparing his current girlfriend with his exes, it has to start making them feel self-conscious about their bodies."

Brad likes his woman super-thin for their red carpet appearances, says the close source. When Angelina first met Brad on the set of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" in 2004, she weighed 115 pounds, which seemed a healthy weight for her 5-foot-7 frame. "But now she's wasting away at less than 100 pounds!" declared an insider.

Brad is also said to have hinted that Jennifer Aniston needed to drop a few pounds when they first started dating.

"He used to talk to her about how thin and fashionable his former girlfriends Juliette Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow were," said the close source. "It was a way to motivate her." So Jen lost the curves she used to show off on 'Friends' and she dropped to a waifish 109 pounds. Today, Aniston is dating Justin Theroux and she's a shapely 120 punds.

And when Brad dated Gwyneth Paltrow for three years in the 1990s, Gwyneth "always felt she was too heavy for him," revealed the close source. In 1996, she shrunk down to a bony 101 pounds for "Emma." But today, Gwyneth looks fabulous at 120 pounds.

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

If Brad really does any of that, he's earned a swift kick to a tender place. I'd like to believe that Brad is simply a supportive dude, no matter his lady's weight… but the years of photographic evidence suggest otherwise. Personally, I consider this – a man obsessing and commenting on a woman's weight – a form of emotional abuse. I doubt Brad is calling Angelina a "fatass" when she nibbles on her daily celery stalk, but I have to wonder if he really is saying *something* to get all of his women to drop pounds. So… is it all Brad's fault? Of course. For years, The Villainess Jolie has been excoriated, so it's time for The Villain Pitt to get some of it too.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Bristol Palin has some convoluted thoughts about Obama’s gay marriage stance

Posted: 11 May 2012 05:50 AM PDT

On Wednesday, every cable news network threw up the "Breaking News" banner and ran with the earth-shaking news: Pres. Obama now supports gay marriage. He had supported civil unions in the 2008 election, but he had always hedged on supporting full marriage rights to gay couples. After Vice President Joe Biden came out for gay marriage on Meet the Press on Sunday, Pres. Obama discussed his gradual change of heart in an ABC interview on Wednesday (you can see the full video here).

It's an interesting and emotional moment in the American human rights movement, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't get a little bit misty when Obama described his discussions with his wife and two daughters, using the wording: "…it wouldn't dawn on them that somehow their friends' parents would be treated differently. It doesn't make sense to them and, frankly, that's the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective."

Honestly, it would have never occurred to me that the part about Obama sitting down with his wife and daughters would be the part that some people would latch on to and attack. Which brings me to this – Bristol Palin (or more specifically, Bristol Palin's blog ghostwriter) has decided to weigh in. And her views (her ghostwriter's views) are just as hypocritical and ridiculous as you'd guess. Bristol titled her blog post "Hail to the Chiefs – Malia and Sasha Obama". You can already feel where this is headed, right?

Is anyone really surprised by the fact that President Obama came out of the closet for gay marriage? What was most surprising is when he explained how his position (supposedly) "evolved," by talking to his wife and daughters:

"It's interesting, some of this is also generational," the president continued. "You know when I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy, on foreign policy, but are very clear that when it comes to same-sex equality or, you know, sexual orientation, that they believe in equality. They are much more comfortable with it. You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we're talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn't dawn on them that somehow their friends' parents would be treated differently. It doesn't make sense to them and, frankly, that's the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective."

Let's pause for just one second. When Christian women run for high office, people inevitably bring up the question of submission. Once, Michele Bachmann, for example, was asked during a debate, "As president, would you be submissive to your husband?"
People automatically assume that a Christian female President isn't capable of making decisions without her spouse's stamp of approval. (I should add female Republican candidates –liberal women don't get the same kind of questions.)

So are all those reporters who feared excessive family intervention in the White House all up in arms over the President's announcement yesterday? Um. Not quite. Liberals everywhere are applauding him for his bravery and his wisdom.

So let me get this straight – it's a problem if my mom listened too much to my dad, but it's a heroic act if the President made a massive change in a policy position that could affect the entire nation after consulting with his teenage daughters?

While it's great to listen to your kids' ideas, there's also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would've been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that's not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids' worldview.

In this situation, it was the other way around. I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren't younger, or perhaps today's press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.

Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking. In this case, it would've been nice if the President would've been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.

[From Bristol's blog]

I understand (sort of) the social conservative argument against gay marriage. I mean, I don’t agree with their argument, but I understand the gist of the argument. But here’s a question, social conservatives: is Bristol Palin the best person to be making your argument? Or does she come across as a convoluted, asinine hypocrite? Bristol Palin, a single, never-married mother whose family systematically pushed out and attacked her baby-daddy, thinks all kids should have a mom and a dad, and that's why there should be no gay marriage. And she's absolutely horrified at the idea of a father (who, in Bristol's mind, is absolutely necessary and that's why lesbians shouldn't raise babies) would actually listen to his daughters thoughts, opinions and world views. Is it offensive that the president loves and respects the women in his life so much that these women influence him and change him and make him grow as a man and as a leader?

And of course, the Glee reference. Look, I don't like Glee either, but I think it's crass that Glee is being used a unsubtle code for "the President's daughters watch TV shows about gay people and the show is going to turn them gay and then they'll influence their father who loves gay people. GAY!! BE AFRAID." Is that the punchline? Because Lindsay Lohan is going to be on Glee. And I doubt her appearance is going to influence people to be crackheads. Although I do anxiously await that Bristol blog post.

I guess I shouldn't get my panties in a twist about this, though. It's not like Bristol wrote it herself. And before anyone starts yelling about Bristol not being a celebrity and not being worthy of this kind of attention …please. Dancing With the Stars. Tabloid cover stories and interviews. She's a celebrity. She's like a Kardashian, only the real Kardashians support gay rights.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Eva Mendes steps out in NYC with Ryan Gosling, ‘the most precious thing to me’

Posted: 11 May 2012 05:45 AM PDT

I'm sorry to do this to you on a Friday. You're going to be thinking about these photos all weekend, spiraling into a fit of depression and Eva-loathing, right? I'm sorry. If it helps, just think of it this way: Eva Mendes is our Gosdong-boning avatar. We can live through her experiences. She is a blank slate on which we can project the dream that we too could pull in Ryan Gosling. Does that help? So, obviously, these are new photos of Ryan and Eva out and about in NYC yesterday. I think Ryan has been in NYC for a while, and Eva came in for the Met Gala on Monday night – although she went to the event solo, and some people (me) have been on "Break-up Watch" since before the Met Gala. But they haven't broken up. They are together. Not just together – they are loved up to the extreme. Ryan agreeing to a candid photo op with his girl on the streets of NYC? They're way more serious than I was thinking. Oh, and Eva is talking about Ryan in interviews too:

She attended the annual Met Gala solo this week, increasing speculation of a split with her boyfriend of eight months Ryan Gosling. But Eva Mendes put any and all breakup rumors to rest today as she went on a romantic afternoon stroll with the handsome 31-year-old in New York.

After expertly dodging Gosling questions from Ellen Degeneres earlier this week, the 38-year-old actress slightly opened up about her relationship with USA Today.

‘I’m feeling a little insecure because I can’t help but be super conscious of what I’m saying because I’m so protective,’ Eva said, when asked about Ryan. ‘That’s the most precious thing to me. And I’m so protective and I just felt my guard go up.’

Walking hand-in-hand in a strong show of silent solidarity, the acting couple stopped for coffee and Ryan held a bag of Pan Ya Chinese takeout.

Ryan and Eva met on the set of their movie ‘The Place Beyond The Pines,’ which centers on a motorcycle stunt rider who considers committing a crime in order to provide for his wife and child.

‘I play Ryan Gosling’s love interest and his baby mama,’ she said before pausing. ‘There’s the guard going up again a little bit! I’m pushing it down! And through this horrible tragedy, I have to deal with the fact that I now have this child to raise…It basically is this epic family drama that is really beautiful and emotional.’

Eva called Gosling her ‘dream co-star’ in the March issue of Marie Claire: ‘I have never felt so creatively satisfied on a film. He's amazing.’

When Ellen Degeneres gave the Girl in Progress star a ‘double-onesie’ to share with her beau, all Ellen got in return was a fit of giggles from the brunette star.

‘Because he likes [onesies] so much, when you see him – if you see him, if you run into him – I’ve got a gift that I think both of you would have fun [with]. [This could work] as an icebreaker when you meet him for the first time,’ the funnywoman joked.

Finally composed, the stunning star then gave a telling answer that will have the women of the world tutting with disappointment.

She responded cheekily: ‘If I happen to see him tonight, I will give this to him. I’m saying if I run to him – you never know.’

[From The Mail]

Don't even bother getting your feathers ruffled about Eva publicly acknowledging (again) her relationship with Gosling. We would hate her if she completely clammed up, and we would hate her if she talked too much about it. She's finding a balance between being coy and being a famewhore. And apparently, whatever she's doing is fine with Ryan. In fact, I starting to actually believe they might be for real. That hurt to admit.

PS… Why is Eva still trying to make that fug sweater "happen"? She was wearing it a few weeks ago in LA too.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Alexander Skarsgard, Taylor Kitsch & Liam Neeson: who would you rather?

Posted: 11 May 2012 04:29 AM PDT

Last night was the LA premiere of Battleship, and these are some of the dong-tastic photos, for your viewing pleasure. Should we do this old-school Hot Guy Friday? Or should we do it "Who would you rather?"-style? I'm undecided. You just pick your fantasy dude and let your mind wander. Considering I think most of you enjoy the SWEDISH THUNDER and VIKING DONG of Alexander Skarsgard, let's start with him. I really, really love that Alexander takes the time to get a nice suit and have it tailored for his crazy tall, long, Viking body. That suit is fantastic on him. The tie? Not so much. That tie is totally a retro knit, and while that might be "in style" right now, it also seems "off" with the suit. Still, who would really kick him out of bed? VIKING THUNDER.

As for the other dudes of Battleship… the only ones I'm really interested in post-Skarsgard are Taylor Kitsch and Liam Neeson. Liam is an "always and forever" dude for me, and I think for most women. I don't know why he keeps signing on to do these dumb movies, but I always enjoy seeing him on a red carpet. As for Kitsch… well, some of you enjoy him. After a brief flirtation with photos of him, I'm now kind of over it. He's not my type. Alex and Liam are my type.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Charlize Theron refuses to give up her leather pants & stilettos for baby Jackson

Posted: 11 May 2012 04:21 AM PDT

It's the new thing, you know. Mothers wearing crazy heels while holding their infants. I feel like it's a trend on par with the whole "not wearing your drawers and flashing the paparazzi" thing of 2006. These are photos of Charlize Theron holding her son Jackson Theron in Paris. We just saw photos of Jackson for the first time two days ago, also in Paris. I think that was Charlize arriving in town for a quick promotional stop for Snow White and the Huntsman (Kristen Stewart was also in town), and in these photos, Charlize and Jackson are boarding a flight to London. Is that a private plane?

Does the "wearing high heels while carrying a baby" issue really matter in the age of celebrity special treatment? My guess is that Charlize was only walking in those heels, carrying Jackson, for a short distance, for a short amount of time. Then she was resting comfortably in first class… or, if this is a private plane, there was even less time and distance involved. And it's not like she has to carry her own luggage or juggle all of the baby crap while holding the baby. What I always hear from commenters is "I would never even dare wear those heels while carrying a baby because what if I fell?" Have you ever seen Charlize The Fierce Bitch unable to work her stilettos, though? She won't fall.

But yeah… traveling in stilettos? I'm not cut out for it. I swear, sometimes I'm all "Damn, my flip-flops are pinching!" I'm a weak bitch when it comes to shoewear.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Pregnant Sienna Miller drank champagne & wine during her Italian babymoon

Posted: 11 May 2012 04:20 AM PDT

Earlier this week, I covered some new photos of Sienna Miller and her baby-daddy, Tom Sturridge. Tom and Sienna were in Portofino, Italy, in the midst of what I assumed was there "babymoon," or the holiday that many couples have a few months before the baby is born. I still don't really know when Sienna is due, but I'm still guessing that it's probably late June or early July. Anyway, what I didn't notice about these photos is that there seems to be some alcohol in the mix. The header photo I chose is the best shot I could find from our photo agencies – you can see Tom and Sienna seated at a café, and if you look closely, you can spy a wine bottle and TWO glasses on their table. SCANDAL. Well, you guys thought it was a "scandal" when Uma Thurman was drinking wine while pregnant. How do you feel about it when it's a former party girl like Sienna?

Former party girl Sienna Miller wasn't about to let a little thing like pregnancy get in the way of enjoying a glass of bubbly. Out for a romantic afternoon with fiancé and dad-to-be Tom Sturridge in Portofino, Italy, the actress was in celebratory spirits as she sipped on a glass of vintage champers.

Of course, a friend insists that Sienna got her doctor's permission before indulging: "Sienna is European and it's common there for a pregnant woman to have a glass of wine or champagne," the pal explains.

Plus, the friend adds that Sienna was careful only to have a few sips. "She'd never do anything to harm her unborn baby."

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Back when we were talking about Uma and preggo wine-drinking, I mentioned my thoughts – basically, I've always heard that the odd glass of wine is okay, especially when a woman is in her last trimester. Different doctors say different things, and there is a difference in how American women versus European women see the issue. I really don't think Sienna is guzzling booze non-stop – I think she just has a glass of wine every now and then, and she probably doesn't think it's a big deal. But by all means, judge away. GET HER!

PS… If I had to stare at my baby-daddy's scrunchie-bun all day, I would need a drink too.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.

Jessica Simpson gained “80 pounds” and Maxi is “like a little Butterball turkey”

Posted: 11 May 2012 04:16 AM PDT

Whenever I've written about Jessica Simpson in the past week, I've sort of idly wondered if she did end up having a C-section, as was widely reported before the birth of little Maxwell Drew. I wouldn't blame Jessica if she did have a C-section – she was so big, and seriously, WHY NOT? I don't get judgy about elective C-sections. This week's In Touch Weekly – the publication that correctly identified Jessica's baby name – says that Jessica totally had a C-section and that it was "painful."

Of course, this piece of information comes in a story that I don't put a lot of stock in – it's all about how Jessica is going right back to work immediately, which… isn't happening. Sure, Jessica has got the deal with Weight Watchers, but I don't see her starting that for several months. In Touch also says Jessica gained a total of "80 pounds" while pregnant. Do you believe that? I'd say 50-60 pounds – remember, Jessica is a short girl, and remember where Jessica started out. Thankfully, In Touch says that Eric Johnson is encouraging Jessica to take it easy, to spend time with the baby and to not stress out over the weight. This seems to be the new theme in this week's tabloids - "Eric is actually an okay father." The Enquirer has a story about that too, and I enjoyed the hell out of it:

Proud mama Jessica Simpson says since she gave birth to daughter Maxwell Drew, fiancé Eric Johnson has turned from macho to marshmellow.

"Eric is crazy about Max and can't stop staring at her," revealed a source close to the couple. "He was excited when Jess told him she was pregnant, but he never dreamed he'd fall so deeply in love with his baby girl so fast."

"Both Jess and Eric are infatuated with baby Max that she's always in the arms of either her mommy or her daddy," said the source. "She weighed 9 pounds 13 ounces at birth and is like a little Butterball turkey. Her chubby cheeks and roly-poly legs crack up Jess and Eric. Jessica is still tired from the birth and trying to catch up on her sleep. But Eric has been getting up in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning just to look at his new daughter and listen to her breathe."

"Eric's been singing silly songs and talking like a baby to Max," said the source. "And Jessica is having a great time watching the two bond. Life has never been better for them."

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

"She…is like a little Butterball turkey. Her chubby cheeks and roly-poly legs crack up Jess and Eric." Are newborns ever that roly-poly? Aren't they mostly wrinkled, and then they start getting the "chubby baby legs" when they're, like, two months old? I have no idea. Because I'm not a baby person. If you want to talk about dogs, that's my wheelhouse. Anyway, I did like that Enquirer story. I mean, of course Eric really doesn't have anything else to do but be a good dad – it's not like Eric has a job or anything. He's a total K-Fed. But it's nice that he's being super-supportive and that he's already enchanted by his little girl.

Photos courtesy of Elle, WENN.

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