Cele|bitchy |
- Sarah Jessica Parker in acid trip Vera Wang: fabulous or hideous?
- Tilda Swinton graces Britain’s Best Dressed list, stars in a new ‘Kevin’ trailer
- Gwyneth Paltrow learned everything she needed to know in high school
- Reese Witherspoon in trouble with PETA for carrying a gorgeous python bag
- Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian release dueling pleas for sympathy
- Kris Jenner regrets ignoring Nicole Simpson’s call for help the day before her murder
- Jessica Simpson confirms pregnancy: “It’s true! I am going to be a mummy!”
- Cillian Murphy at UK ‘In Time’ premiere: creepy or sexy?
- Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes go “redneck” for Halloween
- Michael Fassbender is Fassdongy in Berlin: gorgeous or methy?
| Sarah Jessica Parker in acid trip Vera Wang: fabulous or hideous? Posted: 01 Nov 2011 08:52 AM PDT These are new photos of Sarah Jessica Parker in Australia today (yesterday? Tomorrow?), in support of I Don't Know How She Does It, the film that bombed in America and maybe made a little money in Europe. The event was basically a photo call and press conference rolled into one, and SJP wore this acid yellow-green Vera Wang dress which I have mixed feelings about. On one side, I kind of think it's hideous and the color is unflattering, and it looks like an acid-trip road kill situation on the bodice of the dress. On the other side, I kind of think it's an interesting dress, and I probably would have liked it more on someone else. During the press conference, SJP was in her standard shilling mode, telling the journalists that she thinks IDKHSDI "speaks to the experience of millions and millions of other women”, and is ”a really accurate portrait of modern parenthood…[in these] specific economic times." A story about a wealthy, working, married woman with a husband who works too, a nanny and a house full of children… in NYC? That's what everybody else is going through too? SJP corrected herself: "I’m very cognizant of the fact that most working women in the world don’t have the financial resources I have. The majority of working mothers are very much in it alone and it is a heroic endeavor every day.” SJP was also asked about her shoe love - she was asked if she had any tips for sore feet, and she replied, "I think I’ve just destroyed my feet. I don’t think I have any feeling any more. The heel is not your friend, really.” As she wears six-inch-high Monolos. Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.      |
| Tilda Swinton graces Britain’s Best Dressed list, stars in a new ‘Kevin’ trailer Posted: 01 Nov 2011 08:26 AM PDT There’s a gorgeous new poster for Lynne Ramsay’s We Need To Talk About Kevin, which stars our very favorite alien, Tilda Swinton. During our discussion of Tilda’s fear that she (and all mothers) would give birth to the devil, we already covered the international trailer, which many of you thought wasn’t nearly creepy enough. Well, here’s the official U.S. theatrical trailer, which I think may do the trick if you’re not already convinced: Damn, that Ezra Miller is good stuff, and I don’t mean that in a perverted way (he’s only 19!), but rather, in regards to his talent. That kid is going to go many places, first in foremost in my nightmares. Tilda has also just been named to the Harper’s Bazaar Britain’s Best Dressed of 2011 list. She lands in fifth place behind the Duchess of Cambridge, Florence Welch, Andrea Riseborough, and Kate Moss. Judge Philip Treacy justifies Tilda’s inclusion as follows: “Tilda has balls. Fashion is a throwaway experiment to her. She’s the ultimate in transformation.” How amusing for Tilda, who probably feels equally dispassionate about fashion as she claims to feel about acting as well. Yet she can’t fool us for long with her talk of retirement. Tilda was born for the big screen, and she won’t get away that easily. Here are the Tilda’s red-carpet looks of 2011. Does she belong on the list? Absolutely. Would I ever be able to pull off any of these looks? Never in my wildest, alien-landscape dreams. Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN; poster courtesy of Indie Wire           |
| Gwyneth Paltrow learned everything she needed to know in high school Posted: 01 Nov 2011 08:23 AM PDT Oh, Gwyneth. Is there any subject that you will not deign to speak of with condescension? Gwyneth wants us to know that she didn't need formal training as an actress - she was just that good, naturally. You know why? Because her mother is Blythe Danner, and yours isn't. You can go to The Actor's Studio and study Stanislavski, because you are not Blythe Danner's daughter and acting simply isn't in your blood. And even then, you didn't deign to attend to Spence Academy, which Goop claims trained her for every single thing in her life, basically. Isn't that funny? Everything Goop needed to learn about the world, she learned from being a popular girl in a private high school. That says it all, right?
[From Page Six] Keep in mind - Gwyneth's own, special Goop technique is what enabled her to twang it up as a country singer in Country Strong. The Goop Technique has allowed her to shake her goop without rhythm on Glee. It allowed her to stand around and be the foil to Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man. Because those of Goop's most recent acting credits, and I don't really think they speak volumes about her "talent" or her technique. But it doesn't really matter - in Goop's mind, she's always A-list and she will always be A-list. She learned that at Spence too. Here's another Goop story, via the NYDN. Goop took her kids bowling. HOW GAUCHE.
[From The NYDN] It cracks me up to no end that Goop is so superior she won't even let her kids win at bowling. "I have to teach them how to be the BEST, because they are my children, and it's in our genes to be the best. How else will they learn if I don't beat them until they get better?" Goop asked the Dalai Lama. Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.    |
| Reese Witherspoon in trouble with PETA for carrying a gorgeous python bag Posted: 01 Nov 2011 08:00 AM PDT Don't make the same mistake I made, which was to simply stare at Reese Witherspoon's gorgeous handbag and whisper, "I want to go there." It's a really great purse, right? Well, too bad. It's a $4000 Chloe, and if you live in California, it's against the law for you to buy this bag. For why? Because it's made of python, and there are laws against that, and now PETA is super-pissed at Reese for owning such a beautiful and horrible bag:
[From The Mail] I mean, sure. Poor snakes. Poor pythons. That's rough. But g-ddamn, that's a really beautiful bag. The problem with synthetic leathers and fake skins is that no one ever uses the synthetic stuff to make a bag this pretty. Show me a fake leather bag this pretty, and I'll totally buy it. For now, though, I'm looking to see if I can get my hands on this one. Go ahead and yell at me! It's gorgeous. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian release dueling pleas for sympathy Posted: 01 Nov 2011 08:00 AM PDT I'm sure this will be one of twenty million Kim Kardashian-related posts today, so just bear with all of us. Yesterday, as everybody on planet earth knows, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after "making it work" for a grueling 72 days. I should point out that this is the advice I gave Kim last week - that if everything stayed in the holding pattern of "Kim is miserable, Kris Humphries is such a douche," everybody was going to get bored with them, so they needed to just split up officially. So… it looks like Kim took my advice? Perhaps. Here's some other stuff that happened, in convenient bullet points: *Kris Humphries released a statement after Kim announced that she was filing for divorce. The statement read: “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce. I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.” Ooooh, somebody's playing it for sympathy! *Kim is going to be traveling a lot in the next few weeks. She's in Australia right now and then she's going to be in Atlanta to begin filming with Tyler Perry. *You can read the divorce filing here. Kim filed in California, and most California divorces take a breezy 6 months to complete. So… the divorce will go on longer than the marriage. *Kim released a statement as well. She told E! News: “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.” *Kim has a pre-nup, but a potential asset fight could be looming, because Kim and Kris made so much money from their wedding. In the divorce filing, Kim listed “miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects” and “earnings and accumulations” amassed by Kim before, during and after her marriage be confirmed as separate property. Meaning she might be trying to claim all of the wedding profits as hers alone, plus all of the jewelry that Kris "gave" her, including her 20.5 carat diamond engagement ring. That's all for now, but I'm sure there will be more to come! Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Kris Jenner regrets ignoring Nicole Simpson’s call for help the day before her murder Posted: 01 Nov 2011 07:36 AM PDT
Look, this is Kris Jenner we’re talking about. She’s single-handedly responsible for foisting her entire family on us and marketing more products slapped with their name than any other stage mother that came before her. She described her reaction to her daughter Kim’s sex tape as making lemonade out of lemons, and she probably orchestrated a fake courtship, fake wedding and now fake-divorce for Kim, all for cash and ratings. You just can’t put it past this lady to make up a story like Nicole’s call for help for headlines, whether she’s disrespecting the memory of her dead friend or not. That said, I could also see her being way too busy to help a distraught friend. Did you see this stupid video she made in the 80s? She says she loves her friends only it’s all about her. Entertainment Weekly has more on the revelations from Kris’ memoir, including the fact that she was convinced that OJ was guilty. So was most of the rest of the world watching the trial. Kris is shown on 10/22/11. Credit: WENN.com    |
| Jessica Simpson confirms pregnancy: “It’s true! I am going to be a mummy!” Posted: 01 Nov 2011 07:31 AM PDT Yesterday afternoon, Jessica Simpson tweeted the above photo with the message, "It’s true, I am going to be a mummy." FINALLY, a confirmation of something that we've known for several months now: Jessica Simpson dressed up as a mummy for Halloween. Also, she's preggo. What else is there to say? She's 31 years old, engaged to Eric Johnson, her unemployed Yalie, and this will be the first child for both of them. Sources claim Jessica is about six months along, which seems about right - meaning she would be due end of January, early February. So… instead of announcing her pregnancy on a big celebrity weekly, she went a more subdued route, via Twitter and her website. She also shows us that she has a sense of humor about herself - most Hollywood women wouldn't choose a costumed Halloween photo for their big baby announcement. All in all, I give Jessica extra points for how she handled herself the past few months, especially considering the rather stark difference between Jessica's low-key behavior and non-bumpwhoring versus Beyonce, who is allegedly due around the same time as Jessica. Photos courtesy of Jessica Simpson, WENN & Fame.    |
| Cillian Murphy at UK ‘In Time’ premiere: creepy or sexy? Posted: 01 Nov 2011 07:28 AM PDT These are new photos of Cillian Murphy from the In Time premiere in London last night. Cilian is in the film - he's one of villains, I think, along with Vincent Kartheiser. Cillian was made for villainy - he's just got the face for it. He's just got the eyes for it, honestly. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of Cillian Murphy as a heartthrob. As an actor, yes, he's wonderful, and he has talent oozing out of every pore. But I just can't get hot for him. He has serial killer eyes and he looks like the kind of motherchucker who would "accidentally on purpose" stab you while he was inside of you. Like, "Whoops, my shank slipped!" I'm sure he's not really like that. I'm sure he's a really nice guy. In fact I was just reading his recent AV Club interview, and he does sound very nice. Kind of dorky and sweet and humble - you can read the interview here. So even after I read something nice about him, why do I still feel like his eyes are trying to molest me? Still, I know that Cillian has his devotees amongst you bitches. So enjoy these new photos of him - we rarely get new photos of Cillian, so it is a special occasion. And just be content in the knowledge that I don't want him and I won't fight you for him. If I'm going to bare-knuckle it with one of you sluts, it's going to be over that other Irish bastard, Michael Fassbender. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes go “redneck” for Halloween Posted: 01 Nov 2011 07:19 AM PDT Here are some photos of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian in their Halloween costumes (via LeAnn’s Twitter, of course). I guess they went as good ol' fashioned rednecks? And don't even start with me that "redneck" is hate-speech or something. I live in Virginia. I grew up with rednecks. Rednecks who are true rednecks are proud to call themselves rednecks. You can't swing a dick around here without running into dozens of dudes who look exactly like Eddie. Now, LeAnn's pregnant, smoking, white trash bride… you'd have to look a bit harder to find her, but I'm sure you probably could. It's funny that both of them look completely natural in these costumes, right? Eddie looks totally at home. I can totally see him driving a pickup truck and giving me an estimate on a new roof. LeAnn looks slightly unconvincing, only because she probably knows, somewhere deep in her heart, that this is her natural state. I mean, I remember what her hair used to look like. I remember what a low-class little thing she used to be (and arguably still is). But she should have tried to find a more convincing baby bump - she probably went with a smaller one because she's terrified of looking "fat" even for a Halloween costume. Also, does she have a black eye, or is that just bad makeup/shadowing? One more thing - LeAnn covers the new (digital?) issue of Country Stars Central, below. Ten bucks says she's super-pissed that her thighs look like that. Photos courtesy of LeAnn Rimes's Twitter.    |
| Michael Fassbender is Fassdongy in Berlin: gorgeous or methy? Posted: 01 Nov 2011 06:17 AM PDT Sigh… it's a good day. New Michael Fassbender photos! Praise Jesus. Fassie was in Berlin for the premiere of A Dangerous Method. Alas, his hot partner in dong, Viggo Mortensen, was not at the premiere - it was just Fassie, David Cronenberg and some assorted German celebrities. Sidenote: Can I just say? Showtime has been playing Inglourious Basterds on an endless loop lately, and I keep getting stuck watching all of the Fassie parts. He was so pretty and wonderful in that film. I love him so much. Anyway, last night he was wearing this great blue suit and tie. Dark colors work so much better on him than silvers, greys or even white. The last time I saw Fassie in a white t-shirt, I thought he looked methy. But even then, I wasn't complaining. I love how many new photos there are of Fassie lately. I can't wait for the American premieres of A Dangerous Method and Shame - those premieres should be coming in the next month. GAH! How will I be able to function? Speaking of Shame, Fassie just got nominated for Lead Actor for a British Independent Film Award. Carey Mulligan got nominated too. Which leads me to wonder… when the nominations are being handed out in America, and the Oscar campaigns really begin in earnest, will people put any money behind Fassie to get him an Oscar nomination for Shame? The safer bet might be Best Supporting Actor (or lead?) for A Dangerous Method, but Shame is coming into the awards season with all of the buzz, and I bet you ten dollars Fassie gets a Golden Globe nomination for lead actor in a Drama for Shame. Sigh… Fassie on more red carpets! Seriously, how will I function? I'm adding a few photos from the London Film Festival that I didn't get around to using before. The photo where he's looking soulful and slightly earnest (and dirty) while looking directly into the camera…? That's why I love him. Because he is capable of giving me so much pleasure just with that expression that is part lust, part smirk, part naked earnestness. Jesus Christ, I love this man. I will totally marry him someday. Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.    |
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