Cele|bitchy

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• Linnocent Open Post: LL is the Nelson Mandela of crackheads
• Weston Cage files for divorce from Nikki Williams: “Ladies, daddy is back!”
• Did Demi Moore cheat on Ashton with one of his friends, Ben Hollingsworth?
• Did Kim Kardashian really profit from her wedding, or did she lose money?
• Justin Bieber denies fathering 20 year-old woman’s baby
• Kal Penn’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About”: hilarious or dumb?
• Sarah Jessica Parker’s Philip Treacy hat: fug satellite dish or very fashionable?
• Jessica Biel auditions for everything and never gets the parts she wants
• Jessica Simpson sounds smart: “not being anorexic was great for branding”
• Kim Kardashian: “I want a family and babies and a real life so badly”

Linnocent Open Post: LL is the Nelson Mandela of crackheads Posted: 02 Nov 2011 09:39 AM PDT Linnocent is due in court at 10 am PST, 1 pm EST. This is her sentencing hearing, in which Judge Sautner will sentence Linnocent to anywhere from "time served" to "a year and a half" for violating the terms of her probation. We'll have more coverage once we have photos of Linnocent's latest court outfit, which I'm sure will be rough, and hopefully, Linnocent will get some serious jail time. TMZ's sources claim that LL thinks she's only going to get two weeks. HA. Lindsay Lohan knows she’s getting jail time when she faces Judge Stephanie Sautner later this morning … but she’s dreaming if she really thinks she’ll only get 2 weeks. We broke the story …. Lindsay will concede she violated probation by getting kicked out of the Downtown Women’s Center. As a result, there will NOT be a formal hearing with witnesses and all, but our sources say Shawn Holley will present a list of reasons why the judge should show Lindsay mercy. We’re told Holley will focus on Lindsay’s therapist, who believes LiLo has made progress. And, ironically, Holley will present evidence from the Downtown Women’s Center as well. As for Lindsay’s sentence, we’re told the judge has not communicated it to either Holley or the prosecutors. Whatever sentence Lindsay gets, the Sheriff’s Dept. tells us Lindsay will serve only 20% … and that’s exactly what every non-felon in L.A. County Jail serves. Sheriff’s officials also tell us Lindsay will not be placed in the general population for security reasons. She’ll get her own cell. Although it’s a virtual certainty the judge will sentence Lindsay to jail, it’s possible she’ll give LiLo time to get her affairs in order — anywhere from 24 hours to a week, before she has to surrender and begin serving her sentence. [From TMZ] Meanwhile, LL's rep Steve Honig went to Radar to say that Linnocent is going to "face" her sentence with "spirit, courage and strength.” Like she's the Nelson Mandela of crackheads. SO NOBLE. Mahatma Cracken. Honig goes on: “Lindsay is an extremely strong individual, and is going to do whatever she has to do in order to move on with her life. She is a gifted artist, a compassionate individual and a loyal person who is true to herself. Whatever happens today, she will face it with spirit, courage and strength.” Radar's sources also say that the judge isn't going to let LL get off with house arrest this time either. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Weston Cage files for divorce from Nikki Williams: “Ladies, daddy is back!” Posted: 02 Nov 2011 09:15 AM PDT Every time I write about Weston Cage, I find myself laughing so hard at the bizarre spectacle of his very public life, which takes a few moments at least. Then, there’s the obvious dilemma — do I use those photos of him bleeding outside the courthouse from likely self-inflicted wounds? Or maybe the ones of him showing off his flying roundhouse kick for the paps like some crazed genie wearing tap shoes? Or even the ones of Weston with his mother and wife, who are both dressed so sluttily that it’s difficult to tell them apart? In the end, the karate photos usually win the contest, but today, we have a very special treat courtesy of Weston’s Facebook page, where he announces his divorce from Nikki Williams in the following manner: “WELL ITS OFFICAL. THE DIVORCE IS SETTLED! ……………. LADIES, DADDY IS BACK ahahahhahahaahh oh god! its on.” So romantic: Uh, sign me up? I guess I’ll be waiting back here at the end of this exceedingly long line of gorgeous, eligible bachelorettes. Oh well. For her part, Nikki shows much more restraint on her Facebook page but has already removed the “Cage” from her name. Indeed, TMZ confirms the sad news of the demise of Weston and Nikki’s wedded bliss: Weston Cage’s marriage lasted THREE times as long as Kim Kardashian’s union … but alas, it’s succumbed to the same fate. TMZ has learned … Nic’s oldest son filed divorce papers in L.A. County Superior Court last week, looking to end his troubled marriage to singer Nikki Williams. Cage cites irreconcilable differences for the split … which comes as a shock to no one, considering they were both arrested for domestic violence against each other after they tied the knot. Cage and Williams were married on a whim in New Orleans back in April … after a two week engagement. [From TMZ] Here are more treasures from Weston’s Facebook page where one can still witness photos of the couple in happier moments: Meanwhile, Radar Online has the scanned divorce document itself, in which Weston has taken it upon himself to hire the high-powered Trope & Trope (why?) for the legal proceedings. He cites “irreconcilable differences” and requests no spousal support for Nikki but wants her to pay his attorney fees because, presumably, Daddy Nic can no longer pay for everything. In other words, Nikki is out of the reality show after she worked so hard to join in the madness by getting pregnant and blazingly drunk before threatening to jump off a balcony during the couple’s mutual bender in early July, which resulted in both their arrests on felony domestic violence charges. A few weeks later, Weston got himself jailed again on fresh felony domestic violence charges. All of this, of course, followed the momentous occasion when Weston flew into a physical rage and tried to kick his personal trainer’s ass in public. Yet Weston still insists that he’s not mentally ill. While this new turn of events may seems drastic — the couple has been married only for six months, and Weston’s spent at least half of that time in rehab — I wouldn’t rule out a reunion for he and Nikki. Although this is technically the first time that either of them has filed divorce papers, Weston has threatened to do so in the past. In early July, he claimed that he wanted a divorce and asked his Facebook friends to “Vote on the Divorce. Yes or No.” God bless social media, right? Then, he uploaded a cute little video to match: “Traditionally, the person that is abused or attacked or victimized is the one who usually breaks up with the other,” Weston, dressed in a hoodie and smoking a cigarette, said in the clip. “It’s hard to believe but I was the one abused….I got three witnesses, a video recording, I was sober.” He then held up divorce papers for the camera. “I’m not gonna be the one that gets dumped. Because it just wouldn’t make sense. Why would I abuse the person I was trying to save?” he asked. “If I hit somebody which I haven’t done in years…you want war, fine? Then let’s have war. You want peace, I prefer that.” Cage commented again on that incident as well as his mental state. “I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and approved cogent when [trainer] Kevin [Villegas] assaulted me I was too drunk to fight back, thats why I’m not sore about the video,” wrote Weston. “So don’t judge of a battle where my vigor was abated by deathly amounts of booze. Never hit my wife. Why would I start abusing after she was positive after taking a pregnant-c test.” [From E! Online] So Weston admits that he’d never hit anyone even though he’s done so in the past, and his trainer is supposedly the one who assaulted him. Further, he seems to believe that because he’s the one seeking divorce, it automatically functions as proof that he was the abused party in the relationship. All of this arrives after he showed off his wounds in public not once but twice and, in the latter instance, TMZ got wind that “cops believe the injuries were self-inflicted.” C’mon, does this look like the face of a guy who’d intentionally hurt himself? Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, and PCN

Did Demi Moore cheat on Ashton with one of his friends, Ben Hollingsworth? Posted: 02 Nov 2011 08:55 AM PDT In Touch Weekly has an interesting cover story this week, all about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Sidenote: Demi and Ashton would have been my pick for "divorce announcement" this week, but I think Kim Kardashian stole their thunder. Or maybe Demi isn't leaving, and this is her push-back against all of the stories that Ashton cheated on her ass because she's "so old". Is this from Team Demi? Unknown. But it does make Demi look better, mostly because it makes her sound like the kind of 40-plus woman who still catches 20-somethings. A source claims that Demi, 48, is so insecure about her age difference with hubby Ashton, 33, that she carried on an affair with younger actor Ben Hollingsworth, 27! Read on for all the details of their scandalous relationship! While Ashton Kutcher reportedly had two flings with Brittney Jones and Sara Leal, Demi Moore may have just carried on her own affair with one of Ashton's younger friends. A source reveals that Demi hooked up with sexy actor Ben Hollingsworth, according to In Touch magazine. Demi, 48, met Ben, 27, when he moved from Canada to LA. He was a struggling actor and Demi made it her responsibility to help bolster his career. "He was star starstruck from the start," the insider tells In Touch. Demi and Ben formed a "fast friendship" that quickly developed into something more. Demi took Ben around Hollywood introducing him to everyone and showing him the hippest spots, shares the source. She even introduced him to Ashton, and helped Ben with his role on The Beautiful Life on the CW (Ashton, 33, was the executive producer of the show). "She helped him a lot," says the source. Ben was even invited to party at Demi's house with his friends. "They smoked a lot of weed," reveals the source. "Demi [who didn't smoke] was cool about it all. She and Ashton acted like teenagers." Then, one night Demi gave Ben a ride after a night out partying. "They wound up having sex in the back of the car," says the insider. "It just kept going from there." "[Ben] said she was really hot and she took care of him," adds the insider. But as Ben grew closer to Ashton, he eventually called it quits with Demi. "He was getting to be better friends with Ashton and he felt bad about it," shares the source. That's when Demi went back to Ashton. [From Hollywood Life] It sounds like the way a father would try to seduce one of his daughter's friends, right? Demi is the mom who tries to nail her husband-son's friends. Which is gross, but not illegal considering this Ben guy's age. Here's Ben: Cute, right? I would probably hit that. But not after it hit Demi. Us Weekly also has an interesting story about "how Demi Moore's insecurities are preventing her from letting go of Ashton Kutcher." A source tells Us Weekly, "She's totally humiliated and angry, but she doesn't want him to leave her." Over the years, "He became the more bankable star, while she got older. She'd try to be fun and wacky because that was his thing. They hang out with all his friends. Even though he's in the wrong, their friends are all Team Ashton… they were his friends first. When you meet her, the insecurities just spill out. She needs to get help ASAP." I agree. She does need to get help. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Did Kim Kardashian really profit from her wedding, or did she lose money? Posted: 02 Nov 2011 08:11 AM PDT The sheer volume of Kim Kardashian stories is crazy. Kim's drama took the cover of People Magazine, Us Weekly and Life & Style this week - Star Mag went with Bieber, and In Touch went with Demi Moore. I've already covered Kim's "statement" on her blog - go here for today's earlier coverage. Here are some convenient bullet points for the tabloid coverage: From Life & Style: Kim told Jonathan Cheban, "I moved too fast — I really thought he was the one. It’s just not working. I feel sick to my stomach. But there’s nothing else I can do. It’s over.” That was just two days before she filed. *DUN DUN* Also, Kim was pissed that Kris never wanted to spend time with her, that he went out partying all the time, that he hired a publicist and that he used her name to book gigs. But! Kim worked non-stop since the wedding too. Meanwhile, People Mag's cover story is hilarious: It's all about whether or not the marriage was a total sham. Of course, People quotes heavily from people close to Kim who claim it wasn't a hoax. A source says that Kim's dream was to settle down and marry "Prince Charming" when she turned 30: "She’s a hopeless romantic and she felt like she got her fairy tale when she turned 30. A month into New York [after the wedding], she knew she had made the wrong decision. Throughout their whole engagement they were so excited for what was to come and their life together. But once they slowed down and settled into ‘real life,’ it became apparent that this wasn’t what they both thought it was. [She] is embarrassed about the entire thing. She got caught up in the fairy tale, but her heart wasn’t there in the end.” Next up: Us Weekly! Their sources claim that Kim was getting cold feet about Kris before the wedding: “She knew it was wrong before they were even married. They were not seeing eye to eye and it felt wrong.” Even as she was coming closer to the wedding date, “she was calling friends, telling them she didn’t want to do it." Blah blah blah. *And here's Kris Jenner on the Today Show, claiming that they didn't profit from the wedding. WTF is she wearing?!? Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy She's such a cracked-out pimp. Anyway, everyone is talking about the money stuff: Jenner… debunked the rumor that E! bought the rights to the wedding for a reported $17.9 million. That’s just not the case, Jenner insisted. “One of the rumors is that we sold the television rights for millions of dollars — not true. We profited, she profited from the wedding? Absolutely false,” said Jenner. When pressed about how much money Kardashian and Humphries made, Jenner clarified somewhat. “They made some money for the pictures that were sold and things like that, but at the end of the day, that money went towards the wedding and Kim had to pay a great deal of money (for the balance of the wedding). We don’t sell television rights.” (Pressed even further, Jenner said that photo rights were sold for “Less than a million, more than half a million dollars.”) So what about that much-talked about engagement ring? First, Jenner says it was not worth half the $2 million that’s been reported (though she wasn’t sure what the exact price was) and that who gets the ring and what’s done with it is something that’s between Kardashian and Humphries. As for the wedding gifts, Jenner was elusive except to say, “I know that Kim plans on making very generous contributions to a really deserving charity when she gets home and trying to make that right because she feels really bad about that.” [From MSNBC] Yeah, she's lying her ass off. Why? Photos courtesy of WENN.

Justin Bieber denies fathering 20 year-old woman’s baby Posted: 02 Nov 2011 07:59 AM PDT Radar Online and Star Magazine got ahold of a paternity lawsuit against Justin Bieber by a 20 year-old woman who claims that her three month old son was fathered by him during a tryst in a bathroom following one of his concerts. This story takes the cover of Star this week, and it’s not a bad idea despite the fact that the lawsuit reads like fan fiction. It goes into unnecessary and ridiculous detail and just sounds like it’s completely fabricated. If it’s true it’s really good gossip, I’ll give Star that. Here’s more: Teen pop icon Justin Bieber got a 20-year-old Californian woman pregnant during a backstage tryst and admitted it was his “first time,” she claims in a sensational lawsuit obtained exclusively by Star magazine. Mariah Yeater filed court papers saying that her sexual encounter with the “Baby” hit-maker occurred on October 25 of last year, after he performed to a sold-out crowd at L.A.’s Staples Center. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, the woman has filed a bombshell paternity suit against Bieber, alleging he is the father of her three-month-old baby. In a hand-signed affidavit, sworn under the penalty of perjury, Yeater wrote that a security guard working for Bieber approached her and “asked if I wanted to meet Justin Bieber” before whisking her backstage. She was 19, at the time. Bieber’s rep denies the allegations, telling RadarOnline.com: “While we haven’t yet seen the lawsuit, it’s sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims. We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.” Mariah claims in her lawsuit, which was filed in a California court on October 31: “After waiting for a short period of time with several young women, Justin Bieber appeared and engaged me in conversation. “Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. “I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time. Mariah also told the court: “After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone — a bathroom. “We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f*ck the sh*t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to. “In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything.” Justin then “quickly took off my clothes,” she said — and the pair had sex. Bieber's reps strenuously deny the woman's claims, but Yeater wrote in her court declaration: “He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.” A court has scheduled a hearing on the matter for December 15. Star magazine broke the exclusive story of the Bieber lawsuit and details are in the new issue — on sale Thursday. [From Radar Online] Bieber’s people are denying this claim, and I honestly expect that he’ll take a paternity test and be done with this. They tell TMZ “While we haven’t yet seen the lawsuit, it’s sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims. We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.” This reminds me, though, of that photo that came out earlier this year of Bieber making out with a fan. Millions of teens all over the world are inexplicably hot for him and he’s a pubescent pop star with raging hormones. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s hooking up with groupies. We may think that he looks like a chick but there are obviously plenty of girls who would go there. Ewww, now I’m imagining Bieber getting his freak on in the bathroom. Here’s Justin performing in Brazil on 10-10 and 10-5. Credit: WENN.com and Pacific Coast News

Kal Penn’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About”: hilarious or dumb? Posted: 02 Nov 2011 07:29 AM PDT Since I'm half-Indian, I do tend to keep track of the Indian-Americans who are doing well in Hollywood. I'm always pleasantly surprised when Mindy Kaling ends up in a movie, I was thrilled beyond belief to see Sarita Choudhury on this past week's episode of Homeland, and I'm very happy that Kal Penn exists and continues to work in Hollywood, even with his job in the Obama White House (he keeps taking leaves to work in Hollywood). Kal is promoting A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (and he's also on How I Met Your Mother, apparently), so he decided to do one of my favorite tabloid features, Us Weekly's "25 Things You Don't Know About…" I'll admit to laughing at several of these, especially the Djibouti one. 1. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid. I still do. 2. My favorite drink is water. 3. Once I was in line behind a woman who was telling her friend what a horrible actor Kal Penn is. I tapped her on the shoulder and told her I agreed. 4. I’m fascinated with countries that aren’t universally recognized, and I want to visit Transnistria. 5. I think books are the perfect gifts. 6. I’ve always wanted to be on Sesame Street. 7. I love making people laugh. 8. I’m terrible at math and science. 9. I’m finishing up a graduate program in international security. 10. I like Nascar. 11. I think science is cool. 12. If you follow me on Twitter (@Kal_Penn) I’ll try to entertain you. 13. One of my favorite books is The Mole People. 14. I think almonds, pistachios and cashews are disgusting. 15. I love to cook, without any of the above. 16. I once talked about elections to someone who said his Ls like Rs. It was hard to keep a straight face. 17. I went to Camp Lemonnier in Djibouti. Sadly, no T-shirts say I WAS ALL UP IN DJIBOUTI. 18. I want to know who decided to run those commercials with a panicked man saying, “Stop using those old, dirty catheters now!” 19. I’m a fan of the high-five. 20. I’d like to adopt a brown Lab. 21. I went snowboarding at a mall in the United Arab Emirates. 22. Tacos are the perfect food. 23. Sometimes people ask me if I’m Harold. Sometimes I say yes. 24. I have one of those leg lamps from A Christmas Story. 25. I am thankful every day for the blessings we all have. [From Us Weekly] Yeah, I'll also admit to finding Kal very sexy, and I usually don't go for Indian dudes (I have a type, and it’s Michael Fassbender). CB thinks he's hot too - it's probably because he seems like such a political nerd. Wonks are so HOT. I can't believe he's doing more post-graduate work too - he already has an MA, right? Let me check. Oooh, guess not. He just has a bachelor's from UCLA, and now he's doing his post-graduate at Stanford, according to his Wikipedia. Good for him. Hot stuff. He can get all up in my Djibouti. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Philip Treacy hat: fug satellite dish or very fashionable? Posted: 02 Nov 2011 06:57 AM PDT As we discussed yesterday, Sarah Jessica Parker is still in Australia, promoting No One Cares How She Does It. Instead of trying to set up big "premieres" the studio has just been making SJP do solo photo calls and press conferences, which is sad because the movie is a bomb and no one cares. Still, SJP gets an A for effort, and she's been dressing up in a series of eye-catching ensembles, trying to tempt us into caring. Here is SJP in Melbourne yesterday, today or tomorrow (I never know with Australia), wearing a Chanel dress and a Philip Treacy satellite hat. You can see more images here, at Red Carpet Fashion Awards - SJP's arms look rough, and they have pics of the hat from a different (sketchier) angle. Now, some of you think I have a hate-on for hats. Sometimes it is jealousy on my part - I can't pull off hats, I don't have the face for it, nor the appropriately-sized and shaped head. But I do enjoy a good hat or fascinator on the right girl. THIS is neither the right hat nor the right girl. This reeks of trying-too-hard. And I don't mean this in the particularly vicious way it sounds, but why is SJP drawing so much attention to her face? If I was styling her, I would never allow her to wear something so large on her head, given her unconventional beauty (cough). By the way, I've seen SJP work a hat and a fascinator before - I'm not opposed to her wearing something that flatters her and isn't a giant satellite dish stuck to her head. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jessica Biel auditions for everything and never gets the parts she wants Posted: 02 Nov 2011 06:29 AM PDT I just read the entire Jessica Biel interview in the new issue of Elle Magazine, and I've come away with the overwhelming desire to give Jessica a hug. Not that I like her or respect her as a person or as an actress (I don't on both counts), but I want to give her a hug because she sounds so pathetic and I feel bad for her. She's very open about it too, which makes me feel something for her. It's interesting to me that Biel talks so openly about all of the projects that she auditions for (even naming the projects) and how she rarely, if ever, scores the part. It's like Hollywood is telling her loud and clear, "You're a supporting actress in action films, and maybe a television actress, nothing more" and she just simply REFUSES to listen. I admire her naked ambition, I guess, and I admire the fact that she's so honest about it. But I also think she might need to listen to someone else's advice. On the role that got away: "The Notebook. That's one that I wanted so badly. I was in the middle of shooting Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I auditioned with Ryan Gosling in my trailer - covered in blood. Nick Cassavetes put me through the wringer in an interesting, exciting way. But there's a million that get away. We're gluttons for punishment. It's just rejection." On doing supporting roles in action films: "I play make-believe for a living, and this business is based on imagination and fantasy. And yet a lot of people get stuck. People don't see the possibility and potential." On dressing for the role she's auditioning for: "I'm thinking, This is a period piece. Or this person is an ex-addict in rehab. I need to walk in there and not have a great blowout and a great dress. And I'm always putting myself on tape. The people around you say, 'This is the one that's going to change your career!' And then nothing happens. And you're still doing what you've always done. I'm still dressing up and looking ridiculous. I just did three tapes while I was in Toronto for three different projects - and I didn't get any of them. When there's a great female part, there are 30 amazingly talented women gunning for it." On auditioning for Catwoman in the new Batman film: "Another one that got away. I was gutted. I mean, to work with Christopher Nolan in that kind of role?" On her status with Justin Timberlake: “A girl doesn’t kiss and tell… there's nothing that's sacred anymore. Me not talking about my intimate personal life - there's just a line that you have to say, I can't go any further." On whether she plans to have children someday: "Sure, of course. And, yeah, I think probably at some point it would be something I’m interested in. But I don't feel pressured. I was never one of those girls who dreamt of my wedding and my Prince Charming. To piss off my mom, I used to say, ‘I’m never having kids, and I’m going to be a fabulously rich old maid living in a house with cute butlers and dogs.’” On the lack of powerful female roles in Hollywood: “I think lots of roles for women are just not as developed as male roles. That’s just the truth. There are some that are incredible. But there are not enough. It’s not equal.” On whether she’s considered leaving show business: “Absolutely. I’d love to write. I wrote a lot of short stories and poetry when I was a kid. That was my creative outlet. I’ve written a short film, and I write poetry.” On whether she’d go nude for another movie role after “Powder Blue”: “I wasn't so scarred by that experience that I’d never do it again. If a director I trusted came to me with an amazing opportunity and it felt organic, I would do it.” On the last time she felt terrified: "I felt terrified when I was auditioning for Les Miserables, the movie that Tom Hooper is doing. I was terrified to sing in front of him. I auditioned for Fantine, and I sang "I Dreamed a Dream." I didn't get it. I would have loved it." [From Gossip Center & Elle's print edition] So, she auditioned for The Dark Knight Rises, Les Mis, The Notebook, and basically EVERYTHING else. There is not one film out in theaters right now that Jessica did not audition for. On one side, I understand the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" mentality, as well as the "if you throw enough sh-t against the wall, something will stick" theory for Biel's career. But seriously, her agents might need to sit her down and explore some hard truths. She can be as ambitious as all get-out, but at the end of the day, the parts that Biel really wants are always going to go to more talented actresses. Maybe she should spend less time making tapes and dressing up for auditions and more time in acting classes? Photos courtesy of Elle Magazine.

Jessica Simpson sounds smart: “not being anorexic was great for branding” Posted: 02 Nov 2011 06:00 AM PDT As we know, Jessica Simpson is a clothing, shoe and handbag mogul. She’s now taken to talking about her business, and her relationship, instead of going on about her bodily functions and hygiene. It’s a better media strategy to say the least. Soon-to-be mummy Jess covers the most recent issue of Lucky Mag. The interviewer met with her at her office, and they paint a picture of a thoughtful but goofy woman running a multi-million dollar business. It’s a nice turnaround for her. In Lucky, Jess talks about her weight gain being an issue in the tabloids, and says that being an average size helped her brand and earned her compliments from fans. She also said she’s “still confident” no matter her size. It’s a nice message actually. When she started dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and gained some happiness weight, she was cruelly mocked by the press after she was shot in high-waisted jeans onstage at a country music concert. Simpson's size became a newsstand seller and the subject of running jokes in tabloids and blogs: "What happened to the hot chick from Newlyweds?" But everything seemed to shift when Simpson did the unthinkable: Instead of spending six hours a day on the Exercycle and going on a juice cleanse, she ditched that celebrity ideal and said, "I like the way I look." And did women respond. Her fans rallied around her on Internet message boards ("No matter what size Jessica Simpson is she is gorgeous!") and on the street: "All kinds of women started coming up to me and saying what an example I was setting by not constantly dieting," she tells me as we sit at a conference table in her airy, high-ceilinged showroom. People stopped seeing her as the ditzy blonde with the hot body, and instead Simpson became a real person with real, familiar struggles. "Everybody fluctuates, but I'm open about my weight and I'm still confident," Jessica says. "I didn't cry about it too much." Ironically, as her waist grew larger, both her life and her fashion business, which she launched in 2005, improved dramatically. "I got so much scrutiny for putting on extra pounds, but I think that the decision not to make myself anorexic was actually great for branding," she says. "Because when you're really, really skinny, not everybody can relate to you." All those supportive ladies, it seems, went out and bought what Simpson had to offer: affordable apparel in all styles. And all sizes. The Jessica Simpson Collection is now expected to bring in almost a billion dollars by the end of 2012. That is at least one zero more than most other celebrity fashion lines, and more than the GDP of Grenada. Today, Simpson obviously enjoys her role as fashion mogul. "I love this green!" she says, touching a piece of fabric pinned to a board in her showroom. The walls are decorated with enormous, gorgeous photos of Simpson modeling the clothes she designed. Below them hang inspiration boards with photos ripped from magazines, along with actual pieces of hers—a floral-top bikini is pinned to one board, a pair of aquamarine shorts is tacked up to another, bangles sway on a third. "We should do a skirt like that," she says, pointing to a photo of a model in a long denim skirt with a really high slit. As someone behind us takes notes, other people scurry past, opening Fed Ex shipments of fabric samples and scheduling a photo shoot involving a bathtub full of fake diamonds. Tina Simpson, Jessica's mother, who is co–creative director of the collection, hovers in the distance. "I do the fun part," Jessica tells me, "and I let them stress about the details." Simpson says her personal shopping habits have changed: "I'm more particular now because I know what things are costing the manufacturers. So I know when I'm getting ripped off!" When I ask for specifics, she says, "Mom, what's that itchy fabric that I hate?" Tina, across the room, yells, "Well, you're not a big fan of stretched satin!" Jessica says, "Oh, gosh. But we sell so much of it!" Tina holds up three bridesmaid-looking dresses in jewel tones. "We have a beautiful array of stretched satin," she says. "And we sell the haboobie-joobies out of these things!" Everybody laughs. [From Lucky] So it sounds like Jessica’s mom is the brains of the operation. She couldn’t even remember the name of the fabric she hates. Meanwhile Jess says she’s in no hurry to get married at all. She told Lucky "When I got engaged, everyone thought I would get married immediately, but I have not put a single dress on, and by the time this comes out I will not be married! We're just enjoying being engaged right now—and that's honest.” Well that’s another smart decision on her part, whether she made it consciously or Eric is getting cold feet or whatever. We’ve heard up until now that it’s Jessica who is putting off the wedding after she learned that she was pregnant, and that her family doesn’t approve of freeloader Eric. This interview was conducted before Jessica made an announcement about the pregnancy, and of potential babies and possibly slowing down her business she said “I feel like I do chill out, but I also want to keep this going. If it has my name on it, I want my stamp of approval to be on it. I want to keep my customers coming back. So it's going to be important to me in these next years to stay focused on the collection.” So will Eric be a stay at home day while Jess runs her empire? I never quite saw her that way before. Photos courtesy of Fame and Lucky magazine

Kim Kardashian: “I want a family and babies and a real life so badly” Posted: 02 Nov 2011 05:11 AM PDT It's time for today's first post about the ongoing Kardashian saga. Look, I get that some of you absolutely hate them, but your hate isn't going to make us (or any other site) stop covering this divorce catastrophe. Besides the fact that it's big gossip news, it's also become legit news about E! and the future of the Kardashian brand. Meaning, the fallout from Kim's quickie wedding and "sudden" divorce could backlash and end up hurting the Kardashian-Jenners. Isn't that what you want? So pay attention! So, my opinion is that Kris Jenner is really worried about what Kim's divorce is doing to the "brand". So Kim was sent out to do damage control - she posted a message on her blog called "A Message to My Fans": This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I see all of the support and I am so thankful for my fans, friends and family who are helping me through this difficult time. I am trying not to read all the different media reports but it's hard not to see all the negative ones. First and foremost, I married for love. I can't believe I even have to defend this. I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show! I share so much of my life on a reality show, that contemplating whether to even film my wedding was a tough decision to make, and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision. But it's who I am! We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments. That's what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open! Everyone that knows me knows that I'm a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn't get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn't know how to and didn't want to disappoint a lot of people. I'm being honest here and I hope you respect my courage because this isn't easy to go through. But I do know that I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn't turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for. There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I'm so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I'll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation. I'm sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad always told me to follow my heart and I believe now that I really am. [From Kim's Blog] "I want a family and babies and a real life so badly"…bulls–t. Kris was going to give her a chance to not be in the spotlight so much, to get pregnant and build her own family, and she just publicly rejected that. Maybe she really does want kids - but she wants them as an extension of her franchise, not because of some overwhelming maternal instincts, you know? She's always going to choose her "brand" over "real life". Anyway, The Hollywood Reporter has a very interesting story about the "emergency meetings" that are going down at E!. Kim's divorce filing "took everybody by surprise" and the meetings are to discuss both Kourtney and Kim Take New York and Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which have both wrapped. Meaning, E!’s cameras aren't following Kim currently, so if there ever is a "very special Kardashian divorce special," you know that everything was just staged, okay? A source tells THR that "the New York show has filmed a scene in which the couple decides to 'take a break.'" Oh, and now E! is considering pulling all of the reruns of the wedding special too. So, of course, the pimp mother has to get involved, considering it involved her daughters and MONEY. Kris Jenner went on a radio show yesterday and defended Kim, saying: “She made a decision based on whatever feelings she had. I didn’t interrogate her. She’s not the first person in the world to get a divorce or to have something like this happen to, and she won’t be the last … People have to stop judging… Kim needed to make a very difficult decision and she needed to do that on her own. She’s not five years old. She’s a 30-year-old woman who definitely needs my support right now … It’s not something that she thought would ever not be happily ever after… For whatever reason, Kim felt [divorce] was the decision for her. I can’t judge her and I can’t speculate.” Ruh roh. It sounds like Kris is concerned that Kim is damaging the brand too, right? Photos courtesy of WENN.

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