Crushable

Crushable


Fred Durst’s 60 Day Juice Fast Isn’t Going Smoothly

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 11:07 AM PST

Sometimes blogging about a diet or other weight loss journey can really help the process. You’ll get positive feedback when you’re reaching your goals, and feel held accountable when you start to slip. Slip too many times, however, and things can get embarrassing.

Fred Durst, the lead singer of Limp Bizkit decided to to blog his 60 juice fast on Tumblr. When I think of juice fasts, I think of willowy, health conscious actresses, not tattooed rockers. I might not have been too quick to judge, however, because his two month juicing marathon (which seems like a long, long time to go without solid food) doesn’t seem to be going too well.

By day three he admitted to sneaking some M &Ms  and on day four he wrote, “I cheated tonight with an oatmeal cookie. She was good!!.”

I feel like cheating on a juice cleanse would mean having a piece of whole grain bread or a little bit of salmon, while indulging in baked goods and bits of chocolate covered in food dye is as good as throwing in the towel. Fred isn’t quite ready to rejoin the world of solid food just yet, though. Yesterday after a four day update hiatus he told his followers, ” I am about 2 lbs lights and definitely feeling better internally,” and assured them he’s ready to start phase two of his health kick, “I'm going to dive into a heavy cardio, sit ups, and weights routine on Monday. I'm sure that's the next level of fulfillment.”

Which is funny, because for me the next level of fulfillment after eating nothing (or almost nothing) but juice for two weeks would be eating a fulfilling bowl of pasta. I guess I just don’t have Fred’s drive.

 

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Jenelle Evans’ Former Boss ‘Poisoned,’ Sexually Harassed, And Cyberstalked Her

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 10:54 AM PST

While looking up Jenelle Evans‘ quote about Leah Messer‘s rumored pregnancy, I stumbled into what exactly the Teen Mom 2 star has been up to since shooting wrapped… and it doesn’t look pretty. Jenelle seems to be involved in two simultaneous feuds with ex-roommate Hannah Inman and (more seriously) ex-boss James Duffy.

Let me just say, the first I’d even heard of Hannah was a month ago, when Jenelle declared that Hannah would be helping her write her memoir. Despite the big hugs in that post’s photo, as well as Jenelle tweeting Hannah Christian Inman fucking loves me more than you’ll ever know, I’m actually not so surprised to hear that they’ve had a massive falling-out. Those kinds of uber-passionate female friendships unfortunately often devolve into jealous possessiveness and name-calling.

Another interesting facet is that Jenelle wouldn’t have met Hannah if Jenelle hadn’t been working as the personal assistant to 40-year-old James Duffy. Hannah was living with him at the time, when Jenelle would come over to his house to package and ship the guitar necks that he made and sold on eBay.

Duffy sounds like a run-of-the-mill creeper: He would invite Jenelle and her best friend Tori Killem over for dinner and free drinks. During these boozy meals with underage girls, he would brag about how he hadn’t ever had sex with anyone over 25. Their business relationship abruptly ended when, Jenelle says, he offered “everything in the world to me ONLY IF i had sex with him” and she got out of there.

Somewhere in all that, Jenelle and Hannah broke up as friends because Hannah was always mooching off the MTV star. As Jenelle told Starcasm,

me and hannah are officially not friends anymore. she simply used me for money, fame, ciggs, food, a cell phone, etc. the reason i kicked her out was becuz she didnt get a job to help me with bills and invited random dudes to my house so she can have her way with them i guess… :/ other then that i told her to get her sh!t out, give me my phone back, and to please never speak to me again.

But when Jenelle went through the phone she’d given to Hannah, she found the girl talking shit about her. Then came a Twitter feud, though Hannah kept taking the higher ground with the old “I don’t even care about this anymore, get a life” argument.

But wait, there’s more. Remember those drunk dinners I mentioned above? Turns out Duffy took a bunch of photos and video of Jenelle and Tori horsing around drunk — and remember that Jenelle’s on probation — which he posted to his Facebook. He also claimed to have text messages from Jenelle’s old phone where she “thanked” him for having sex with her.

The most disturbing behavior, however, was what came later: Duffy allegedly poisoned the girls one night at dinner. He freely admitted that he had slipped some Spanish scorpion into their spaghetti as an aphrodisiac, but instead it made them vomit and black out. So many bad ideas here.

And finally, we come to the newest detail of this bizarre story: Duffy’s threats against Jenelle got so bad as to be labeled cyberstalking. Although Jenelle’s attorney wouldn’t clarify what the threats had actually been, the definition of cyberstalking includes threats of bodily harm and death, as well as threatening one’s family. Would it be too naive of me to believe that Jenelle pressed charges because Duffy threatened her son Jace?

Right now everyone’s in a weird Mexican standoff, with Jenelle having filed charges against Duffy but also the subject of charges from Hannah… who claims she’s not looking for fame but is just protecting herself against her former bestie. Wow.

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Cutegreggator: Animals Reading

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 10:16 AM PST

It’s a universal truth that cats and dogs look cutter when you put glasses on them. The adorable level is bumped up a notch when the studious-looking animals appear to be getting caught up in a good book. And sometimes there are even more factors to increase cuteness, like an puppy reading a book that’s bigger than him, or a cat that shares your affection for J. R. R. Tolkien.  Here are some very literary pets to admire.

 

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Jersey Shore Field Notes 5.2: The Unbearable Sadness Of Vinny

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 10:40 AM PST


Jersey Shore Field Notes are a detailed account of MTV's hit show. As written by an anthropologist.

0:35: Vinny compares his emotions to a washing machine, one of few frames of reference through which he processes the world.

1:33: The male specimens sit around emoting around the concept of “home.” They urge Vinny to stay with the group.

2:14: Vinny speaks of feeling “burnt out, like a car on fumes,” says he is starting not to think rationally. (“Starting.”) Is it taxing for his species to live at the beach?

2:30: The Situation introduces Paula, his “friend with benefits,” as a “sweet girl” BUT “a sure thing.” Interested in what this type of construction implies.

4:06: Snooki expresses concern over “her man” catching cooties from Mike “the Situation”‘s clothing.

4:33: Jionni offers to trade his culinary services for the loan of Mike’s shirt.

5:05: Snooki expresses agitation over this male bonding exchange: “I didn’t know this was gonna be like, a cook festival.” The female refuses food, retreats to her room. Her mate follows.

5:44: The Situation brings food to Jionni, further agitating Snooki.

6:52: Pauly enters Ronnie’s sleeping area, engages in homosocial cuddling.

7:50: Deena and Sammi arrive at the Shore Store and inform the boss Vinny has taken to his bed, “is going through a lot of issues and problems.”

8:15: Snooki calls Jionni on the duck phone. He tells her she drinks too much alcohol and he does not want her “falling over” again. She worries he does not “respect who she is.”

9:14: Vinny arrives at work late, presses t-shirts, comments that he “still got it.”

10:00: Vinny informs the boss he has clinical anxiety, but reassures him of his desire to “keep the wheels rolling.”

12:00: Pauly takes Vinny for a “man’s day, getting mani pedis, etc.” Expresses desire to “go the extra mile” for him.”

13:00 Pauly asks for Vinny’s name on his fingernail, expressing his eternal commitment (no homo).

13:42: Pauly states that on returning to New Jersey from Italy, he “got excited,” “burnt his whole face off” while tanning: “It peeled, and then I exfoliated, and then burnt the part that I peeled. I can’t move my face.”

14:22: The Situation posits Pauly’s “GTL endurance” is down.

15:00: Deena expresses her excitement over going to the club via a series of high-pitched shrieks.

16:00: JWoww reminds Snooki not to flash her ass at the club if she wishes to retain her mate.

17:00: The specimens reacclimatize quickly to their natural club environment.

18:37: Snooki falls down, which Jionni has warned her not to do.

19:00: Snooki’s ass reappears, further agitating Jionni.

19:22: Pauly has met a girl who is “DTF.”

19:52: “Going to a loud crazy club is not the best thing to do when you’re having anxiety.” -Vinny

20:15: The Situation compares his umpteenth taking home of “sure thing” Paula to a hail Mary pass. He seems untroubled by the logical inconsistency of this statement.

21:00: Pauly generously offers to use the smush room to copulate so as not to disturb Vinny.

22:00: It’s 4am. Vinny expresses distress over the fact that the cab company cannot retrieve his female for over an hour, despite the fact that he has finished copulating with her.

22:50: Vinny’s female stumbles disorientedly around the living room in search of her shoes.

23:00: Vinny puts her in the cab sans shoes, telling her they are in the cab. (They are not.)

24:00: Pauly D can’t find his diamond chain, either. Has a worm hole opened up in the shore house?

24:40: Snooki accuses Vinny’s female of stealing his chain, storing it in her rectum, because that’s what she would do.

25:50: Vinny’s female reappears with his chain around her neck, “glinting in the sunlight, looking all perfect.”

26:16: Vinny blames the mix-up on the “nasty ass smush room.”

27:00: Pauly institutes a new hug/pat down policy on his female guests to ensure the safety of his various gold chains.

28:00 Ronnie takes Vinny on a boardwalk bro-date in an attempt to cheer him up. They play rigged games of skill together, winning a stuffed animal in the process.

28:50: Vinny appreciates the effort, but is “a little beyond that point right now.” Not even words on the posteriors of females can cheer him up.

28:55: Vinny wonders what you do if you don’t want to go to a club.

30:30: Snooki asks Vinny to describe his feelings to her. He says he is “not myself” when drinking. Snooki feigns understanding.

32:15: Vinny’s sadness is beginning to affect the more sensitive specimens in the house: Snooki, Deena.

32:50: Pauly says his face is better but it still hurts to make out. (This has not stopped him.)

33:00: Sammi accidentally aspirates her own perfume.

34:23: The specimens gather and elect Pauly to speak with Vinny about his sadness. They leave the two alone in the house together.

35:00: Vinny uses the duck phone to call a female, ask her to “come get me.”

35:33: Pauly expresses frustration over his inability to understand Vinny’s emotions of “sadness.” The two exchange meaningful glances while neo-emo-punk music plays.

37:00: Pauly is unwilling to let Vinny go, but ultimately relents.

37:38: Everyone else is at the club, but Vinny’s absence is making them melancholy. They do shots and begin to feel better.

38:30: Pauly’s sad face is making Vinny sadder.

39:00: Pauly expresses confusion over simultaneously “not wanting [Vinny] to leave” and “helping [Vinny] pack.”

39:50: Pauly really doesn’t want his dude to leave him.

40:20: Vinny has left. Pauly poses the existential question of “what do I do now?”

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For His Birthday, 10 Pictures of Patrick Dempsey Looking McDreamy

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 09:22 AM PST

Patrick Dempsey, aka McDreamy turns 46 today. Some know him as the incredibly charming Grey’s Anatomy neurosurgeon (who’s only become more attractive as a loving father), others as pessimist turned prince charming in Enchanted, and more die-hard Dempsey fans remember him as the cowboy hat wearing, tractor riding dork in Can’t Buy Me Love. Whatever TV show or movie gives you your Patrick Dempsey fix, here are some stills to enjoy of the man who can mesmerize you with his eyes.

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Kim Kardashian Only Gives 10% Of Her Charity Auctions To Charity

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 08:25 AM PST

When you buy something from a charity auction, you usually assume that 100%, or at least a large portion, of the proceeds are going to charity. Stop doing this! According to Fox News, a handful of celebrities including Kim and Khloe Kardashian only donate a paltry 10%.

The vehicle for these donations is Ebay Giving Works, which lets people auction off items and donate up to 100% of the proceeds to a good cause. Although Kim, who is worth an estimated $35 million, promotes her page as “Charity eBay Auctions Supporting the Dream Foundation,” it might be more accurate to tag it “Charity eBay Auctions Supporting Kim Kardashian,” because that’s where the other 90% goes.

Items auctioned off are usually clothing and shoes, but Kim occasionally auctions off stupider things, like five minute audiences. For instance, before her birthday bash last year, she auctioned off a package for which “winner and guest will get to skip the line and be escorted in to the VIP room where they will get 5 minutes to wish Kim a happy birthday, take photos, and have up to 2 items signed.” (To be fair, she gave 25% to charity that time.)

Paula Abdul has also been fingered as a 10%-er. But in case you’re feeling sad now, you should know that lots more celebrities have done auctions where they give 100% of the proceeds away: Miley Cyrus, Sienna Miller, Steven Tyler, Barbara Streisand, and Charlie Sheen(!), to name a few.

(Via Fox News)

 

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Leah Messer Denies That She’s Pregnant

Posted: 13 Jan 2012 09:18 AM PST

The “news” that Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer was pregnant with twins again may turn out to just be an over-the-top rumor. Even though we could all envision this happening — Leah going to great lengths to start a whole new family with fiance Jeremy Calvert – both she and co-star Jenelle Evans have taken to Twitter to debunk the rumor.

Weirdly, Leah doesn’t quite come out and say that she’s not pregnant… which makes us wonder if she could still be expecting and just angry that In Touch broke the news before she wanted to. (You can imagine that if one of these girls were expecting another child, they’d get some sort of interview out of it.) Here’s what Leah tweeted:

Thank you @intouchweekly for telling me I am having twins again, love bad reporting and fake stories, it does sound like a Soap Show! Ha!

Later, when discussing negative responses to the rumor, including “bashing” from The View ladies, Leah tweeted, Who cares!? .. not me! Last I checked this life I’m living is my very own! (;

On the less upbeat side of things, you also have Jenelle Evans, another Teen Mom 2 star. I didn’t know that the two were friendly — especially after Leah’s ex Corey Simms reportedly hit on Jenelle — but the troubled young mother was on Leah’s side when she tweeted,

Leah is not having twins, calm down. It’s just a rumor….

Around the same time, a fan asked Jenelle if her son Jace would have a little sibling, and she just laughed and said something to the effect of “hell no.”

Update: Adding more intrigue to the mystery is this report from Teen Mom Talk, that Leah had her first prenatal appointment just the other day. The fan site says that Leah was worried about removing her Mirena IUD without harming the baby, but all went well. She’s reportedly due on August 22, 2012. So who knows what the truth actually is!

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