Cele|bitchy

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• “Chris Martin kissed his Goop in public, how peasant-y and gauche” links
• Katie Holmes takes Suri out for ice cream, doesn’t want Suri to be audited (again?)
• Channing Tatum & Alex Pettyfer were bitchfighting on the ‘Magic Mike’ set
• Kim Kardashian basically admits she’s already planning a wedding with Kanye
• Tom Cruise in the ‘Jack Reacher’ trailer: does he pull off a brick sh-thouse?
• Is Ben Affleck trying to convince Jennifer Garner to have a fourth baby?
• Englishman David Gandy is here to wish everyone a happy Fourth of July
• Diane Kruger styles Joshua Jackson for Chanel show: cute or emasculated?
• Katy Perry in Marchesa at London ‘Part of Me’ premiere: awful & ice-capadey?
• Kathy Griffin discusses why she never “outed” her BFF Anderson Cooper

“Chris Martin kissed his Goop in public, how peasant-y and gauche” links Posted: 04 Jul 2012 07:45 AM PDT Chris Martin deigned to publicly kiss his wife. SHOCKING. How peasanty. [LaineyGossip] Lifetime's remake of Steel Magnolias looks awful. [Dlisted] Vote for Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch and…? [Pajiba] More pics from Jennifer Aniston's bikini photo shoot. [Pop Sugar] Heidi Klum keeps talking about her divorce. [Celebuzz] Wow, the FDA approved a take-at-home HIV test. [Gawker] Candice Swanepoel in a bikini. [The Blemish] I kind of like Ciara's stripper boots. [Go Fug Yourself] Duchess Kate repeats the sailor McQueen at Wimbledon. [A Socialite Life] Kelly Rowland talks Beyonce, Chris Brown & Drake. [Bossip] Jennifer Lopez in a bikini. Looking good. [Yeeeah] Minnie Driver & her son Henry, out and about. [Celebrity Baby Scoop] Sophie Monk is looking less jacked. [I'm Not Obsessed] I have no idea who this is, but look at her awful lipstick! [Celebslam] Tallulah Willis probably has a nude-photo scandal too. [Amy Grindhouse] Matt Lauer is a d-bag, Part Bajillion. [Wonderwall] RHONY recap, with extra Pinot. [Reality Tea] *****Happy Independence Day, bitches!! We hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. Don’t drink and drive, and if you get crackie, don’t play with fireworks. Love, Kaiser, Bedhead & Celebitchy ******

Katie Holmes takes Suri out for ice cream, doesn’t want Suri to be audited (again?) Posted: 04 Jul 2012 07:35 AM PDT These are some new photos of Katie Holmes and Suri in NYC. Katie took Suri out for some "late-night ice cream". Xenu may come and go, but Katie will never put Suri on any kind of child-like schedule, I guess. Well, the photo agency doesn't say exactly what constitutes "late-night" – maybe it's just 8 pm or 9 pm? Even then, that sounds more like the time when a mother should be winding her kid down for bed, not hopping her up with ice cream. Maybe it's a unique occasion. Maybe Suri is getting a special treat for adjusting so well to the new apartment and being without her dad (and Xenu). I hope Katie knows that if Tom really puts the screws to her in a custody hearing, this could possible become evidence against Katie – "Katie doesn't keep our daughter on an appropriate schedule. She takes her out for ice cream late at night. Bad mothering!!" Or maybe this is a show of strength on Katie's part – she's just provided more photos where she looks like a hands-on mom, the stable parent to Tom's workaholic Xenu-lover. I do think that all of this – the divorce filing, the ballsy PR campaign, painting Tom and CoS into a corner – all of it is FOR Suri. It's so Katie can determine what kind of childhood and life Suri has, and Katie (at long last) is thinking about what's best for her daughter. Radar reports that Katie "is determined not to end up like Nicole Kidman" in this situation. Katie is treating Tom's divorce to Nicole (and Nicole's subsequent estrangement from Isabella and Connor) as a cautionary tale: Cruise’s two children with Kidman, Connor and Bella, “lived with their father and Katie during the marriage full-time. They aren’t that close to Nicole, and Katie is determined that she won’t be cut out of Suri’s life,” a source close to the situation tells us. “Bella and Connor are devoted to their father and Scientology, and Katie saw this firsthand, and this is one of the reasons she filed for sole custody. Katie will not be relegated to a secondary role in her daughter’s life, period, and she is prepared to fight Tom in court. Katie isn’t going to back down, and she will do whatever it takes to ensure that she raises Suri herself,” the insider added. Kidman revealed in a 2007 interview that her kids referred to her as Nicole, and not mom, and Holmes said Connor and Bella called her mom. Isabella, 19, is living with her Scientologist boyfriend, Eddie Frencher, in an apartment in downtown Los Angeles and is pursuing a career as an artist. "We are very proud to be Scientologists," she recently told New Idea. Connor has set his sights on becoming a DJ and was with his father last week on set in Iceland when Holmes filed for divorce. [Via Radar] Meanwhile, TMZ has another "It's all about Suri" story this morning – and this one is heavy on the Ick Factor. Katie doesn't want Suri to be interrogated/audited by CoS. Katie Holmes desperately wanted to save Suri from a form of interrogation practiced by the Church of Scientology that she was steadfastly against … TMZ has learned. Sources close to Katie tell TMZ, back in 2005 she had witnessed Tom’s other kids participating in a Scientology ritual she found to be troubling … and feared Tom would drag Suri through the same process. Ex-Scientologists call the process “sec checking.” Here’s the way it works. The subject holds electrode handles on a device called an e-meter and is then asked a series of personal questions that help the Church locate “areas of spiritual distress.” Some ex-Scientologists claim the questions include: – What has somebody told you not to tell? – Have you ever decided you did not like some member of your family? – Have you ever bullied a smaller child? – Have you ever lied to a teacher? – Have you ever done something you were very much ashamed of? – Have you ever refused to obey an order from someone you should obey? – Have you ever gotten yourself dirty on purpose? During the process, a person called an “auditor” collects e-meter readings. Several ex-Scientologists have come out against “sec checking,” claiming it’s a mild form of psychological terrorism designed, in part, to get children to report on their parents. We’re told Katie would have none of it and it is one of the reasons she broke from the Church and ultimately Tom. [From TMZ] Eh. Of course, children shouldn't be "audited" and the whole thing is extremely creepy, weird and wrong. But I don't think it should be deemed "psychological terrorism". And it also seems a bit weird because… I'm guessing Suri has already been audited. Katie has been audited for sure, and I'm sure Katie knows exactly what goes down at these things. First they get out the tin can… Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Channing Tatum & Alex Pettyfer were bitchfighting on the ‘Magic Mike’ set Posted: 04 Jul 2012 07:09 AM PDT Everyone should know that bitchfights aren’t just for girls, and a new story in this week’s Us Weekly would have us believe that the set of Magic Mike was consumed with epic, “massive fights” between co-stars Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer. Of course, Channing was the real star of the movie, and Alex played his up-and-coming stripper replacement. So maybe some of the plot transferred into real life in some weird, oddly explosive ways, but it’s possible that these two actors might really hate each other. Although it’s hard to imagine Channing not getting along with everyone since he’s so laid back; well, except for his old stripper buddies say he stole their moves even though he really didn’t. As for Alex, we were talking yesterday how he’s working hard to hide the douchiness in his interviews of late, so maybe Alex was just too much for a nice guy like Channing to handle. Here’s the story from Us: When Channing Tatum bares his true feelings about Magic Mike costar Alex Pettyfer, it’s not pretty. “He hates Alex,” a source tells Hot Stuff. “They had massive fights on set.” The beefcake to blame, insists another insider, is Pettyfer, 22, who plays a character based on former male revue dancer Tatum, 32. “Alex was a jerk to everyone during filming for no reason,” says the insider. “He thinks he’s the star of the movie, not Channing or Matthew McConaughey.” Tatum, a coproducer of the stripper flick, retaliated by cutting a Pettyfer scene and, according to a source,” went on a rampage about it!” And at Magic‘s L.A. premiere June 25, the pair still hadn’t patched things up. The actors barely interacted and posed on opposite ends of the cast line. Says a source, “Channing refuses to do appearances alone with Alex — and he’ll never work with him again.” [From Us Weekly, print edition, July 16, 2012] I think there might be some truth here, and maybe Channing was put off by Alex’s notorious attitude just enough that it caused some on-set altercations. Or perhaps the redneck in Channing didn’t get Alex’s British mannerisms. I don’t know — I’m merely trying to figure out why these two guys would bother with being catty with each other when it was an otherwise fun film set. As for the so-called “evidence” of Channing and Alex refusing to pose together on the red carpet premiere at the LA film festival, I don’t know how much weight that should give to this story. It really wasn’t a grab your dude and pose sort of event, and most of the time, all of the actors posed solo except for Matthew McConaughey, who managed to grab some bro time with both Alex and Channing. Who could really resist McConaughey (except for a certain Esquire journalist)? I guess one could say that McConaughey is Kryptonite for bitchfights. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Kim Kardashian basically admits she’s already planning a wedding with Kanye Posted: 04 Jul 2012 07:04 AM PDT It's been a while since I covered some Kardashian stuff? I apologize (not really). I was one of the people in the mid-Atlantic who lost power and I'm still recovering! But it's nice to know that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West never change. They're in Paris for Fashion Week. Because Kanye is High Fashion and by God, he's going to make Kim into his MUSE y'all. These are photos of Kimye at the Stephane Roland Haute Couture show yesterday, and then they did a costume change and went to Givenchy later on in the afternoon. The Roland appearance is Kim in the black dress with the giant white boob-flower. The Givenchy appearance is Kim in those (kind of amazing) pants. You know Kanye styled her. And while I still don't think Kim looks GOOD, per se, I think Kanye has been improving her style slightly. She's been wearing more "Hey, that's not terribly unflattering" stuff. I think the Givenchy outfit in particular is very flattering on her – you can see her small waist, and it's a very slendering outfit in general. As for Kim's face…well, she still looks pretty 'Toxed to me. And her hair isn't helping matters. But whatever, that's her face now. Meanwhile, Us Weekly had this bizarre little story about Kimye: Kim Kardashian is totally dialed in to boyfriend Kanye West. In fact, she's the only one who has his phone number! West, 35, "doesn't like to be tied down by technology," says a source, and didn't have a cell phone before falling for Kardashian. "It frustrated Kim," adds the inside. "She has to call him through a bodyguard." But West recently caved and got a secret phone. Says a source, "He only uses it for Kim!" [From Us Weekly, print edition] Er. I thought Kanye was always tweeting and sending d-ck photos to girls? And he does that without a phone? Yeah, right. More like "Kanye wouldn't give Kim his real cell number and he just bought a completely new phone to handle all of his Kardashian bidness." Right? Meanwhile, Kim covers the new issue of InStyle UK. You can see the cover here – it's meh. In the interview, Kim basically admits that she's already planning her wedding to Kanye: “I’ve always believed in love… I haven’t always been so lucky, but I still do believe in it.. I loved this person, it just wasn’t the right situation for me. I try to hold my head up high and live my life… I've always been the type to fall in love fast and, with every boyfriend, I plan out my wedding in my head." So… Kimye wedding. But don't you think Kim will probably get knocked up first? I do. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Tom Cruise in the ‘Jack Reacher’ trailer: does he pull off a brick sh-thouse? Posted: 04 Jul 2012 06:40 AM PDT A few days ago (and we missed it with all the divorce talk), EW.com premiered the above photo as a “first look” at Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher, the iconic character who is featured in at least 20 Lee Child novels. Now the teaser trailer for the Jack Reacher movie (previously known as One Shot) has been released and — between this promotional photo and the trailer itself — it’s obvious that the filmmakers have taken great care to shoot Tom from certain angles in the hopes that he will appear monstrous in size. The effect is … ridiculous, for Reacher is described in the novels as a “giant” who stands 6′ 5″ in height and possesses a hulking, 50-inch-chest. In other words, there aren’t enough camera tricks in the world to pull off the desired illusion. Now before I go any further, I want to acknowledge that there have been occasional comments about how we (myself included, of course) poke a lot of fun at Tom’s height (5′ 7″) and his insistance upon wearing lifts. These jokes aren’t really about short guys — in fact, short dudes are really hot when they own their height. Like Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, right? Or Peter Dinklage, who is sexy as hell. In contrast, Tom obviously has a huge problem with his own shortness, and his attitude about it is what makes it funny. He even made Katie Holmes wear flats as he stood in his lifts on the Jack Reacher set so the paparazzi would get photos of him looking tall that day. It further follows that Tom has invited more ridicule upon himself by signing on to play a character who is described as a brick sh-thouse in slightly more literary terms. Jack Reacher’s stature is vital to the story being told in this move, and Child takes great care to mention the character’s intimidating physicality at every opportunity within his books. So it makes no sense that Tom has such a massive sensitivity towards his own height but has now placed himself in a situation where there are Facebook pages called “Tom Cruise is not Jack Reacher” and IMDb boards that say even worse. Regardless, Tom now appears in the new teaser trailer for Jack Reacher, which is about a former military investigator who is now quite the vigilante and sets out to solve a mystery about five killings. Tom basically beats up guys and then other dudes get scared and run away. It’s pretty funny to watch: Did you see Tom pretending to check out that chick in a thong, and are you also wondering why his gross stomach is still prominently on display? More importantly, are you believing him as Jack Reacher? Paramount apparently isn’t worried about the negative fan buzz about Tom playing such a beloved character, and they’ve also stated that they’re not concerned about the effects of Katie’s divorce filing either: As fate would have it, the first trailer for Tom Cruise’s next movie Jack Reacher is hitting theaters just as news of his pending divorce from Katie Holmes makes headlines around the world. Marketing a film is never easy when one of its stars become embroiled in a personal crisis, but Paramount insiders say they don’t believe the breakup — which once again puts the spotlight on Cruise’s controversial religion Scientology — impacts his box-office prowess or Jack Reacher, which opens Dec. 21. His personal life may sell magazines, but his films will stand on their own merit, insiders add. The studio says it has no intention of changing its promotional materials for Jack Reacher, which rely almost exclusively on Cruise’s character. Jack Reacher — previously titled One Shot — is based on Lee Childs’ best-selling book about a former military investigator (Cruise) who takes grief from no one. The studio was so keen on the film that it moved Jack Reacher to the lucrative year-end holiday season. [From Hollywood Reporter] Paramount sort of has a point here. I don’t think that, in general, Tom’s career will suffer from this latest fallout in his personal life. We’ve already seen that nobody wants to see him as a rock star, but audiences will continue to show up to watch him do crazy stunts like jumping off the world’s tallest building. Yet will fans of Jack Reacher really want to watch Tom mugging for the camera and pretending to be all tough when he’s really just actng like Tom Cruise? They really should have cast someone else in this role. Photo courtesy of EW.com; screencaps courtesy of YouTube

Is Ben Affleck trying to convince Jennifer Garner to have a fourth baby? Posted: 04 Jul 2012 06:13 AM PDT Here are some new photos of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner in Santa Monica yesterday. As he was during Jennifer's last pregnancy, Ben continues to be uncharacteristically affectionate and warm towards his wife. It really does seem – visually, at least – that Jen and Ben are stronger than ever. I do think they had a "rough spot" for a few years – especially when Ben was working on The Town with Blake Lively, right? Whatever went down (something!), Jennifer seems to have fought for her marriage and they made it through. And now they're even stronger. Because looking at couples like Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes… don't you just see how Ben and Jen could beat the odds and actually make this thing work for decades to come? Of course, I have an alternate theory: Ben is simply overjoyed to finally have a son. For years, it was widely reported that (unlike Matt Damon) Ben really, really wanted a boy. And now he has one. So Ben is no longer acting like such a grumpy bitch. So you'd think that now Ben has his boy, he and Jennifer would say "no more kids" right? Not so much, according to Us Weekly: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are beating the seven-year-itch. "The marriage is rock-solid," says a Garner pal. The duo taosted their anniversary June 29, and the actress, 40, will soon join Affleck, 39, in Puerto Rico, where he'll film Runner, Runner. Meanwhile, their third child, Samual, arrived in February and they're debating having another. "Jen is happy with three now that she has a boy," says the pal. "Ben wants four." [From Us Weekly, print edition] When she was pregnant this last time, I seem to remember Jennifer saying that this was the last time she was doing it. Maybe she didn't come right out and use those words, but that was definitely the impression I had. So… I could see her being all "Seriously, we have three healthy children. Enough." And Ben being like, "But we could have one more!! Maybe another boy!!" It's cute. But I'm betting that Jennifer is kind of over it (pregnancy) at this point. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Englishman David Gandy is here to wish everyone a happy Fourth of July Posted: 04 Jul 2012 04:32 AM PDT I am a proud American. For real. I'm the daughter of an Indian immigrant who loved his adopted country, and who was particularly worshipful of the "origin story" of America. I live very close to some very historical, Founding-Fathers-type stuff, and I love it. I tear up when I hear "The Star-Spangled Banner". When the Olympics come around, I will cry every time some American kid is standing on that top podium, a gold medal around his or her neck. … That being said, I love Englishmen. On this Fourth of July, let us take a moment to acknowledge that for all of our greatness as Americans, we still haven't produced someone who looks like English model David Gandy. There's just something about the UK… sigh. They produce some incredibly beautiful men, right? These are photos of Gandy from a new photo shoot for "August Man: Malaysia's Definitive Men's Journal". Would I give up America for David Gandy? Probably not. But I would totally become a dual citizen if it meant getting into his pants. Dear Great Britain: I'm glad that I'm not one of the Queen's loyal subjects and all, but I still think you guys are pretty awesome. Have a happy Fourth of July, y'all. And keep making men that look like this. Photos courtesy of August Man.

Diane Kruger styles Joshua Jackson for Chanel show: cute or emasculated? Posted: 04 Jul 2012 04:25 AM PDT Coming off of yesterday's "controversial" Diane Kruger post, this one shouldn't incite too much emotion. Diane and her lover Joshua Jackson were in Paris for the Chanel show yesterday – and dear God, were they adorable. They're like dolls. She's a German Barbie and he's sort of like… Canadian Ken. She plays with Josh like he's a doll too – look at the way he's styled!! That's all Diane, you know it is. She was like, "Darling, this is what you need to wear. Loafers, no socks. Shave. Look goofy and sweet." No, she never has to tell him "Look goofy and sweet." He ALWAYS looks like that. I do love them together. I love that he's totally fine with Diane styling him like a doll. But dear God, I really dislike the no-socks-with-fancy-loafers look on heterosexual men. As for Diane… the beret is cute. I would imagine that Karl Lagerfeld styled her. More photos from the Chanel show… Milla Jovovich in a cute Chanel suit. This is actually my favorite look of the whole fashion event. I just wish she was standing up straight. Sofia Coppola looks incredibly chic here. We get it, Michael Pitt. You are SO COMPLICATED AND HARDCORE. The rare Alexa Chung photo where she doesn't look so wonk-eyed. I think she might have gained one pound too. Take a moment and just imagine what your life would be like if these two were your parents. OMG. PS… Look at Karl's booties!!!!!!!!!! Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Katy Perry in Marchesa at London ‘Part of Me’ premiere: awful & ice-capadey? Posted: 04 Jul 2012 04:10 AM PDT Katy Perry walked the red carpet last night for her London premiere of her Katy Perry: Part of Me 3-D movie, and her look wasn’t nearly as fashion foward as the slightly amazing red, strapless Dolce & Gabbana dress she wore for the Los Angeles premiere. Here she wore a gold and white Marchesa dress, which is very Ice Capadey by nature. Perhaps Katy only wore this dress to impress Harvey Weinstein so that he’ll turn her into a real movie star, or maybe she actually likes this ugly thing. With Katy, one never knows — she’s clearly trying to work this dress, but it’s just such a terrible design. Katy’s makeup was overdone as always, and her hair looked pretty cartoony and mushroom-like amidst a matching gold headband. So much makeup! Meanwhile, here are some new details about Katy’s exploitation of her marriage and divorce within the movie. As we’ve already discussed, Russell asked that his likeness be removed from the film, but Katy said no way. Now Katy (within the movie footage) has inadvertently revealed some proof that a big reason for the split was that the couple possessed different ideas about starting a family. Russell was apparently in a huge hurry to have kids and, according to this piece from NY Daily News, was even thinking about baby names. Katy’s response to Russell’s musings was rather insensitive: Fans see a different side of Katy Perry in the new film, Part of Me, which shows the bubblegum pop star breaking down backstage over her split from Russell Brand. The documentary shows Perry, 27, at her emotional breaking point — collapsing in tears moments before she's supposed to take the stage in Brazil. Brand, 37, filed for divorce in February, and Part of Me highlights the roughest part of Perry’s struggle to accept the broken relationship. But the show must go on — and Perry, whose concert gear famously consists of bright, theatrical costumes and florescent wigs — graced the stage with a megawatt smile. While Brand, a comedian, does appear in the flick, he pops in and out only in early scenes. Later, an exhausted Perry struggles to uphold the relationship, flying to see her husband in between sleepless touring. A friend interviewed in the film notes that Perry “should be resting, but she wants to fly to wherever Russ is to show she cares. She’s running herself ragged.” During another scene, Brand texts Perry, suggesting they name their children after Ronald McDonald. Perry, 10 years younger than her husband and not ready for a family, texts back: “Babies can’t have babies, and I’m still a baby.” Conflicting desires about having children only added to the stress of a shared life spent in the spotlight, and — due to demanding travel schedules — often apart. Perry was on tour when Brand filed for divorce, and Part of Me includes the news of the announcement — and the singer's subsequent heartbreak. Later, Perry tells the cameras she still misses Brand. “I'm a romantic and I believe in the whole fairytale,” she says. “Love is a dream, but the reality is making it work. I did everything I could — but it’s still failed.” [From NY Daily News] See, that’s kind of a rude thing to text back to a husband when he’s getting all googly eyed over baby names. The problem isn’t that she didn’t want to stop her career to have children. That’s certainly Katy’s prerogative to feel the way she felt about children at this stage in her life. The issue is more that she did talk about wanting babies, and then she shut down Russell when he was all hopeful that they’d go forward with a family. Katy truly did pull a baby bait-and-switch with the guy. But maybe she’s correct in that she is a baby herself. Naturally, Katy also had to put on some “quirky” airs at the London premiere too. Here she is freaking out with a Union Jack umbrella in hand. Photos courtesy of WENN

Kathy Griffin discusses why she never “outed” her BFF Anderson Cooper Posted: 04 Jul 2012 04:05 AM PDT On Monday, Anderson Cooper "came out" in the one of the best ways I've ever seen – he did it in a low-key open post/email to The Daily Beast's (gay) journalist Andrew Sullivan. Anderson explained himself and his reasons for not publicly acknowledging or verifying his homosexuality before now, and why he made the decision to say something publicly now. His open letter was exceptionally well-written, emotional, cathartic and beautiful. I was really proud of him, truly. I know that's a weird thing to say about a man I've never met, but I just like that Anderson "came out" on his own terms, when he felt the time was right, and in his own way. And for the "right" reasons too. Anyway, Anderson's sometimes-BFF and official New Year's Eve Co-Star Kathy Griffin wrote an "open letter" response to Anderson's coming out party in (where else?) The Daily Beast. You know what? I love Kathy. And I think her essay is also exceptionally well-written, and I like the way she discusses the history of the gay rights movement. Here is her essay in full: My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts. He's covered the military coup and eventual unseating of the democratically elected (albeit bat-shit crazy) Haitian president Jean-Bertrand Aristide. He's covered the small wars in Africa that use children as slave soldiers. He knows more about the women of The Real Housewives than perhaps even I do. He's covered the seemingly endless large wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. And by "covered," I mean he's really gone and covered them—with a security detail and without; embedded with troops and unilaterally—not from the relative safety of the Green Zone in Baghdad or the international zone in Kabul. He's sat down with despots in countries like Somalia, covered the atrocities in the Balkans and Burma. And he also happens to be gay. Funny thing, that … Kicking around for as many years as I have, I've done countless interviews pushing Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, stand-up comedy specials, live comedy dates, the Kathy show, and everything in between. I've talked to everyone from a local gay blogger to Time magazine. I'm not really sure at what point it changed, but the press—or at least the press who covered my little carnival—became fixated on Anderson's orientation. And for years, I talked around it. Believe it or not, I don't "out" people. It is neither my business nor my desire. Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist. These weren't questions where I could make a joke about Ryan Seacrest getting a mani/pedi. This isn't a joke I make about whether Oprah and Gayle are gay lovers. I have no idea if Oprah and Gayle are gay lovers. I doubt they are, but as a comedian, I find some comedy in picturing those two girls running the world as a power couple. Anderson is someone who has led a very specific kind of professional life, who never talked and simultaneously exhibited social contradictions. And quite frankly, he never gave me permission to speak about something that represented the one part of his life he was not comfortable having confirmed in the media. But in my dealings with a certain sector of the press, that simply was never good enough. So while I've tried to protect my friend and represent him the way he would most prefer, I was never exactly clear on just how to do it, how to say it. One year, while in the middle of doing several interviews to promote New Year's Eve Live on CNN, I had a discussion with Anderson about it. "For Christ's sake, Anderson, I've been getting asked as much about your sexuality as I have about my own show!" I said. He said: "Kathy, I don't get asked as much about my sexuality as you get asked about my sexuality. But here's my standard party line: 'I want to report the news. I don't want to be the news.'" I recently read an article that quoted a gay Army officer friend of mine saying how freeing on so many levels the repeal of the “don't ask, don't tell” policy has been, that he and his now legally married husband might someday finally adopt and begin a family. The "ethical nonstarter" of having to teach a child to lie so that she might protect her fathers was no longer even a glancing consideration. Well, there is an unspoken kind of DADT among the press, and Anderson's party line only revealed part of it. The reality is that despite the very real, the very necessary, and the very life-changing progress we have made in this country in treating people across the sexual orientation spectrum with dignity and respect, America—the world—is not fully represented by Chelsea in New York City. It's not fully represented by DuPont Circle in Washington, D.C.; the Castro; or West Hollywood. Hell, it's not even Ft. Lauderdale and its Wilton Manors or Denver's Capital Hill neighborhood. America is, in large part, small towns like Oxnard, Calif. It's Sevierville, Tenn. It's Laramie, Wyo. And it's Wichita, Kan., where I was eating recently at a local diner and a patron asked me, "Kathy, how do you deal with so many goddamned f-gs?" Many of my young gays don't know about Uganda's "Kill the Gays" initiative, which was developed with the help of some extremist American evangelicals. Many don't know about Stonewall or, more recently, the importance of Lawrence v. Texas. They don't know about Cuba's jailing of HIV patients or even that Iran has sentenced gay teenagers to death by hanging. They don't know that in large portions of Baghdad, honest LGBT folks are hunted and summarily executed by roving bands of so-called morality police, who kill with impunity both the "out" and those simply perceived to be gay. What many young people do know is what they read in short bursts on celebrity Twitter posts or on TMZ. And what they read and see is how freeing being honest can be. What they don't see is that it remains, in many places, very dangerous to do just that. And that dichotomy is deeply troubling to me. Look, I'm a comedian. Anderson reports on the world's toughest stories. He speaks truth to power. I, on the other hand, make fun of the spectacularly silly world of reality television and Hollywood's fame whores (and those who love them). I don't pretend to understand the complexities of the worlds Anderson moves in. But I do know that I don't want my friend to face that part of the world, where he might die a very different kind of death than someone who isn't quite so honest. Anderson writes: "I've begun to consider whether the unintended outcomes of maintaining my privacy outweigh personal and professional principle. It's become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something—something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed, or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true." Here's the thing: I love my friend Anderson and remain immensely proud of him. And I'm honored, truly, that he considers me a friend. But I just want him to be careful. Of course he wouldn't be doing his job if he really were being careful. And he wouldn't be who he is. [From The Daily Beast] I think she's basically saying that she never outed him because she loves him very deeply and she worries that one of these days he's going to fly into one of these countries and he'll be killed because people think/know he's gay. Which is a genuine concern, and it sucks that it's a genuine concern. Still, I love Kathy for bringing "the real". Photos courtesy of WENN.

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