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Jesse Tyler Ferguson and His Boyfriend Wear Matching Outfits, Are Adorable

Posted: 05 Sep 2011 10:26 AM PDT

The idea that couples would wear matching outfits is naturally pretty appalling to me, but when Jesse Tyler Ferguson and his boyfriend, lawyer Justin Mikita, do it I’m totally charmed. Maybe it’s because the uniforms they’re wearing, with those twin sets of orange laces, are so geeky that it’s impossible not to be delighted.

The couple was snapped on a stroll around Venice Beach on Saturday. Jesse and Justin recently vacationed in Hawaii, where they were photographed taking a break from snorkeling to make out in the water. (Their snorkels, it should go without saying, totally matched.)

The third season of Modern Family premieres on September 21st, so set those DVRs!

(via Just Jared)

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Your Guide to 9/11 Memorial Programming and How Much You’ll Cry

Posted: 05 Sep 2011 10:30 AM PDT

This is going to be a tough week — everywhere you turn, there’s a 9/11 special about those who died, those who survived, and all who grieve the over 3,000 lives lost in the attacks on the World Trade Center ten years ago Sunday. The number and kinds of specials are pretty staggering, so we’ve put together a completely non-glib listings guide — thanks to The Futon Critic — of which specials air which night, and how many boxes of tissues they’ll have you reaching for. (All times are EST.)

MONDAY

When Pop Culture Saved America (Biography, 8 p.m.)

A documentary looking at how the “non-news media” — celebrities, comedians, performers — used TV, film, theater, and other media to help the country rebuild and find security again.

Tissues: 2/3 boxes (We were going to say 1/3, but then we considered that some of the tears may be from laughter)

Children of 9/11 (NBC, 10 p.m.)

Narrated by Law & Order: SVU‘s Mariska Hargitay, this special looks at eleven children from six families, linked by the fact that they lost at least one parent to the 9/11 attacks. Their ages range from 20s — Thea Trinidad, barely 10 then, didn’t understand why her dad was calling to say goodbye — to 30s — one kid’s father was an IT specialist at the Pentagon.

Tissues: 3/3

TUESDAY

I Survived… 9/11 (Bio, 8 p.m.)

Profiles of twelve survivors with jobs that put them in the path of the attacks (firefighters, defense officials, policemen) and how they rose to greatness.

Tissues: 2/3

WEDNESDAY

Saved – 9/11/2001: The Woolverton Family/The Haskell Family (Animal Planet, 9 p.m.)

Another profile of families, but the twist here is the focus on how their pets (in this episode, it’s dogs) helped them cope during the tragedy and in the aftermath.

Tissues: 1/3, maybe 2/3 if you’re a big pet lover

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Space Relations: Noise Pollution — How to Not Be the Loud, Obnoxious One

Posted: 05 Sep 2011 07:50 AM PDT

In this column I've mentioned several obnoxious habits that roommates have, but one thing that irks me the most when living with others is heightened sound. Sometimes you just want to sit—or sleep—in peace and quiet, but you can't because your roommate just got promoted and is having a party. Or she got laid off and she's psyched, or she got a great score on her final when you have yet to complete your exams (and in fact have another one the next morning at 8 a.m.). One of the hardest things to do when you're just going about your day-to-day life is to take others into consideration, and that's really what being a good roommate is all about. Sure, it's awesome if you vacuum a lot or have a weird penchant for doing the dishes, but if you're doing those things while I'm sleeping at seven in the morning then they're not that awesome anymore. They're actually annoying and make me hate you.

Noise pollution is something I've dealt with a lot through the years, and I have to say I'm rather impressed by those who are able to shake off their roommates' loud habits. Not that I have many friends who would say, "Yeah, my roommate plays his electric guitar until 5 a.m., but I've gotten used to it," but I have heard this from a few people. And every time I do I'm like, "Ugh didn't you want to just pick up that electric guitar and smash it on the ground into millions of little pieces?!" because for me, sound can straight-up ruin my day. If I wake up to a loud, unnecessary noise from, say, a garbage truck, it can kill my enthusiasm for getting out of bed. But if I wake up to an unnecessary noise from a roommate, then I'm really pissed.

The reason noise bothers me so much is two-fold: First, I'm sensitive to sound. I deliberately try to do the dishes so there's not a lot of banging, and it's not because I do the dishes at an early hour or because I'm trying not to break anything. It's simply because I hate the loud noise. Beyond that, noise bothers me because it's something that your roommates can control, but only if they actually want to control it. While I believe that part of the reason some people are so loud is because they're not sensitive to sound, I also think it's because they just don't give a shit.

Take, for instance, my former roommate Brenda (whose name has been changed for this article). Brenda's ideal day would start around 6:45 a.m. when she did the dishes "just for fun." Even though I never had proof, it sounded to me like Brenda would do the dishes from the bottom up, so there was always a cascading noise of toppling dishes coming from the kitchen. Then she would grind some coffee or, when she was on a health kick, blend a bunch of fruit for a smoothie. At that point she would crank up AM radio and shuffle between the kitchen, her bedroom, and the bathroom for about 40 minutes, slamming the door each time she went into the bathroom and sending an echo of cacophonous sound down the hall. Sometimes, she would cook. And all the times she cooked, she needed to find a pan that just happened to be buried under a stack of other pans. To sum up my feelings succinctly, Brenda drove me batshit crazy.

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Friends Being on Nick at Nite Makes Us Feel Horribly Old

Posted: 05 Sep 2011 07:07 AM PDT

Growing up, we watched Nick at Nite as a portal into the past: Block Party Summer featured such black-and-white classics as I Love Lucy and The Monkees. But do you know what the newest show to go into this weird retirement/syndication is? Friends! Yes, the sitcom that ended less than a decade ago, in 2004.

Nick at Nite has always been an indicator of age, so we’re pretty shaken up by the show we grew up with in high school and college suddenly being considered a golden oldie. Sure, in some ways it’s a relic of the ’90s, with people actually calling each other and meeting in coffee shops to discuss their love woes. But what does that say about us, who enjoyed it — are we equally outdated and unrealistic?

Here’s the lowdown: Everyone involved wants to “introduce” Friends to the younger generations by encouraging viewers to post about their favorite moments on social media — as if they don’t already know every joke and guest star already. Here’s Nickelodeon’s pitch from July:

The camaraderie and laugh-out-loud comedy of Friends make it a great addition to Nick at Nite's roster. We're excited to be offering a contemporary spin on this iconic series by encouraging fans to share their favorite Friends episodes on Facebook.  Who doesn't remember the first time Ross and Rachel kissed, Phoebe singing “Smelly Cat” or Joey and Chandler's dueling recliners?

I finally got a DVR and have set it to a “series pass” for Friends, so I think I’m qualified to report that the show plays on at least three different channels, which makes it very likely that the Facebook-savvy kids don’t need any nudging to start watching the show.

We can’t help feel like this is part of some conspiracy to shorten the time that a TV show is modern and current; after all, the Friends actors are all still alive, unlike the stars of Green Acres or The Golden Girls. What’s the rush to crown stuff like One Tree Hill and Degrassi the new classics? They haven’t earned that right. To be honest, we’re not sure if Friends is so universally loved as to be honored like that; we still run into people who never “got” the show.

If Friends is Nick at Nite programming, it makes us reevaluate if we’ve become the “adults” we’re expected to be now that a show that we loved in our adolescence is archived. Apparently Friends has “grown up,” but it’s too soon to say if we’ve become responsible and mature enough to match it.

Yesterday NPR published a response that touches upon our same shock but also puts things in perspective: The author, Linda Holmes, is in her 40s and got into Friends when she graduated from college, whereas we’re in our 20s and 30s now. Linda also points out that Nick at Nite has also aired shows from roughly the same era, like Mad About You and even the very recent Everybody Hates Chris.

It would seem that this programming choice is more about Nickelodeon and its other channels broadening their spheres of influence, as opposed to carbon dating iconic TV shows. But we’re still going to be agonizing over gray hairs and wrinkles — we’ll just do it while watching Friends on yet another channel.

Friends starts its Nick at Nite run tonight at 8 p.m. Each night this week there’ll be a 10-hour “best of Friends” marathon from 8 p.m.-6 a.m.; after that, it’ll air weeknights 10 p.m.-11 p.m. EST.

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Celebrity Hot Messes Need A Drink(ing Game)

Posted: 04 Sep 2011 02:40 PM PDT

You guys. This weekend was Charlie Sheen’s birthday. This weekend was ALSO Paz de la Huerta’s birthday. You heard me: Not one, but TWO Supreme Hot Mess Celebrities are celebrating their birthdays. Unreal! So even though the last thing these two, as well as every other celebrity hot mess out there, need are drinks, we’re going to raise a glass (or two, or three, or five) to them anyway. To the Celebrity Hot Messes of the world! Let us drink! And also play! For drinking games make the world go round!

A celebrity appears on the scene: Take a drink.
Celebrity appears relatively talented: Take a drink.
Celebrity also appears relatively normal: Take two drinks.
Celebrity’s career has a successful start: Take a drink for each successful project.
Cracks begin to show: Uh oh. Take a drink for each crack.
Celebrity’s excellent PR team smooths over the cracks: Whew. Take a drink. Don’t forget to give one to each PR person.
Nip slip!: Whoops! Take a drink!

It’s an accident: It happens. Take a drink.
It’s no accident: Of course it isn’t. Take two drinks.
Celebrity begins becoming somewhat annoying: Take a drink and try to ignore it.
Mild public intoxication: Take a drink and stumble a little.
Extreme public intoxication: Take a drink and fall over.
Extreme public intoxication while on the red carpet of an important industry event: Take a drink and mumble incoherently at the press while stumbling and falling over.
Evidence of other substances at play: Take a… drink? Hit? Something?

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Teen Mom Jenelle Evans… Cheerleader?

Posted: 04 Sep 2011 01:15 PM PDT

This is weird, right? It’s weird!

But no matter how weird it is, that does not stop it from being true. Starcasm unearthed this photo of Jenelle Evans from what looks like her middle school years– before Jace, before Kieffer Delp, before getting arrested, before aaaaaaaaall the things that she has since become known for. Do you think anyone who knew her then would think that she’d go from “Go, Cougars, go!” to this?

Kind of sad, actually. She looks so wholesome and happy in the cheerleading pic. Shame it couldn’t last.

[Via Starcasm]

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This ‘Space Oddity’ Children’s Book Interprets the Song Way Differently Than I Did

Posted: 04 Sep 2011 11:45 AM PDT

I’m sure most of you know the David Bowie song “Space Oddity.” It’s possible that you call this song “Ground Control to Major Tom,” which makes a certain amount of sense, given the number of times that phrase is repeated throughout it. But you know what I bet you didn’t know? I bet you didn’t know that artist Andrew Kolb– remember him?– made “Space Oddity” into a children’s book. It’s quite possibly the most depressing children’s book in existence, but it does make a good one: Simple story, pretty pictures, and so on. Here’s the thing, though: When I read Space Oddity, written by David Bowie & illustrated by Andrew Kolb, I kind of freaked out a little. Because Kolb’s interpretation of the song, which is shown beautifully through his illustrations, is COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN MY OWN. Not that either of us is necessarily right or wrong– isn’t the point of poetry the fact that it will be interpreted differently by everyone who reads it?– but you guys. It BLEW. My MIND. Want to see what I’m talking about? Come on in. We’ll take a walk through it together. Let’s begin:

“Ground control to Major Tom… Ground control to Major Tom…”

Okay, nothing weird or unexpected here– except maybe for the fact that they’re sending one lone guy into space without a team or anything to back him up, but whatever. That’s just what the lyrics tell us. Here’s our intrepid hero, gazing at a picture of his wife before he’s shot into the great unknown. Awww.

“Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.”

Again, nothing too strange going on; we meet ground control and they have some pretty sage advice for Tom. You certainly don’t want to be suffering from a protein deficiency before going into space, and the helmet’s probably a good idea if you intend to breathe while you’re up there.

“Ground control the Major Tom. Commencing countdown engines on.”

How thoughtful of ground control to let Tom know that his launch is imminent. There’s nothing like an unexpected shuttle launch to ruin your morning.

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