Cele|bitchy

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• Russell Armstrong’s lawyer calls Taylor Armstrong’s abuse photos fake
• Emma Watson thinks wearing too much makeup is her biggest style blunder
• Michaele Salahi predictably wants reality show w/ Journey dude she cheated with
• Is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looking “too thin” at London Fashion Week?
• George Clooney’s Norwegian bank commercial: his funniest performance ever?
• Does Leonardo DiCaprio pull off the ‘J. Edgar’ transformation?
• Brad Pitt goes solo to the premiere of ‘Moneyball’: where was Angelina?
• Pippa Middleton & Peaches Geldof are the same level of celebrity
• Chaz Bono shows his moves on the Dancing with the Stars premiere
• Julie Bowen is The Anti-Goop, she says that she hates her kids sometimes

Russell Armstrong’s lawyer calls Taylor Armstrong’s abuse photos fake Posted: 20 Sep 2011 09:23 AM PDT This story makes me sad. Apparently Taylor Armstrong got paid $125,000 for those photos of her bruised face that were shown on Entertainment Tonight. Taylor’s interview with ET airs tonight and I’m interested in what she has to say. Given all we know about her I doubt it’s going to be particularly insightful. I know that sounds so bitchy to say given the terrible circumstances, but it’s hard to avoid saying it. To clarify: Taylor was the victim of some horrific abuse at the hands of her late husband, and it’s definitely her story to tell however she needs to tell it. We know Taylor is a piece of work, but that’s not stopping us from 1. feeling deeply for her for what she went through and 2. believing her side of the story, which is backed up with some powerful evidence. Only Russell’s lawyers want us to believe that evidence was faked. We know Russell abused at least two of his exes, according to reports they filed and restraining orders they took out against him at the time. But Russell, who committed suicide last month, has a lawyer who claims that Taylor got that black eye from either “plastic surgery” or a “football” to the face. That’s despicable to say. Taylor Armstrong has sunk to a new low, according to her late husband’s lawyer — who claims the black eye photos she recently sold for 6 figures to E.T. are nothing but a shameless hoax. The lawyer, Ronald Richards, tells TMZ … the injuries depicted in the pictures were not inflicted by Russell. According to Ronald, the injuries in the photos are either from plastic surgery … or a recent incident involving a football to the face — but not from domestic violence. Richards tells TMZ, “If Mr. Armstrong was the cause of those injuries he would have been arrested and prosecuted.” Richards also notes … Taylor never filed a police report. Sources close to Taylor insist the pics are legit — claiming Taylor never reported any injuries because she was under enormous pressure to keep up appearances for the show. As one source puts it — the black eye pics are just the tip of the iceberg … the rest make Rihanna’s battered face “look like child’s play.” [From TMZ] Check out the abuse photos. (I’m not posting them here again.) If she had plastic surgery, she would have had bruises around both eyes and not just around one eye. Plus, how would a football cause that much damage? The fact that the attorney had two different explanations and then says “well my client would have been arrested if he did this” sounds like he’s grasping at straws. I guess Russell hired a lawyer as shifty as he was. I still haven’t been keeping up with “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” Those of you who are still watching can tell me if it’s been worth it, but I doubt it. The show is too sad now that we know that Russell killed himself. Taylor is shown with Kennedy in April and with Russell in October of last year. Credit: PRPhotos

Emma Watson thinks wearing too much makeup is her biggest style blunder Posted: 20 Sep 2011 09:05 AM PDT It's not that I'm disagreeing with Emma Watson when she talks about wearing "too much" makeup. She's right - all too often, she does wear too much for someone so young, someone with presumably good skin and strong features that don't need a lot of extra stuff. No, what I'm trying to point out is that Emma is wrong to think that her makeup issues are the BIGGEST "beauty faux pas". No, Emma. That would be your hair, at least in my opinion. That hair makes you look like Justin Bieber, and I never get tired of making that comparison. Emma Watson and The Bieb could be sisters. Or brothers? Anyway, here are Emma's thoughts on beauty - keep in mind that she's the newest face of one of the largest beauty/cosmetics/fragrance companies in the world: From chopping off her hair into a short pixie in 2010 to rocking dramatic Black Swan-inspired eye makeup at this year’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere, Emma Watson is no stranger to experimenting with her look. But even the gorgeous Brit, who always appears polished and chic, admits that even she’s prone to a makeup mishap from time to time. “Wearing too much makeup has been my biggest beauty faux-pas,” she told Britain’s Hello! magazine. “I truly, truly believe that beauty is something that comes from within. You can only really look beautiful if you feel beautiful on the inside. It shows through your face, the way you move and the way you hold yourself.” Watson goes on to admit that despite her down-to-earth approach to outer beauty, she still covets cosmetics. “The funny thing about me is that I do have a lot of products — I’ve always loved makeup and its ability to transform you,” she said. “But I don’t actually wear a lot of it, so there is an irony that I own so much of it but wear so little. But I do love beauty products.” And besides skipping the layers of makeup, Watson’s other live-by beauty rules are: “Don’t over-pluck your eyebrows and always take your makeup off before you got to bed!” [From Us Weekly] Don't you love it when 21 year olds deign to give women beauty advice? No offense to Emma and the brigade of teenagers trying to sell me crap, but I would much rather hear beauty advice from women who are older than me and look younger than me. Women like… Monica Bellucci, or Julianne Moore, just off the top of my head. Still, it's always good advice when you tell girls to take off their makeup at night. As for over-tweezing… it's weird because I would love to tweeze the hell out of Emma's brows. Right? She might need to rethink that rule. As for her whole "I wear too much makeup but you should still buy Lancome stuff, please" message - I guess it makes some kind of sense. Some women just love to buy lots of beauty products, even if they don't get around to using the stuff. I'm that way about shampoo and soap, honestly. I have stacks of soap and shampoos that I buy because I like the smell and I want to try them all out… eventually. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Michaele Salahi predictably wants reality show w/ Journey dude she cheated with Posted: 20 Sep 2011 08:41 AM PDT Michaele and Tareq Salahi There was a lot of ruckus last week over the stories that White House party crasher and Real Housewives of D.C. castmember Michaele Salahi had left her husband to take up with guitarist for Journey, Neal Schon, while he was on tour. At first Michaele’s husband, Tareq, tried to claim that his wife was kidnapped. Tareq reported Micheale missing to the FBI and cried to the local news about it. Then he realized that she had just left his sorry ass, so he leaked a bunch of stories to TMZ claiming that their sick dog died of a broken heart when she left. It was pathetic, and he even filmed the dog’s funeral and burial and gave (sold maybe) the video and photos of it to TMZ. Tareq filed for divorce and we got to see Michaele and Tareq’s prenup, in which Michaele forfeits her rights to any money if she commits adultery. Tareq did an interview with E! that aired last night telling his side of the story. He thought everything was fine in his marriage until his wife disappeared, and then he said he received an e-mail at the main address for his winery from Schon containing an attached photo of Schon’s pen1s. Really. Tareq showed a printout of it on E! and everything, but they blurred most of it out. Tareq called Michaele a “groupie slut” and warned her that Schon, who is also married, has been married five times, and whose wife of a whole two months got cheated on too*, is bad news and will cheat on her too. He’s probably right. Meanwhile Michaele and Neal have a new interview with The Daily Beast describing how they got together after a separation of nearly 15 years from their first romance. The highlights are: In my book, Cirque du Salahi, the 46-year-old Michaele first revealed she has suffered from multiple sclerosis for nearly 20 years and the disease was the deciding factor when choosing her husband. She had been dating both Neal and Tareq in the late ’90s (for the record, she dated Neal first) and there came a time she had to make a life decision. "I chose Tareq over Neal because I thought life would be less stressful living on a vineyard in Virginia. Life on the road with a rock band … well, I thought I might not have been able to keep up." Yet during research for the book last year, in private talks away from her husband, Michaele made it clear she still had deep feelings for Neal. So how did they ultimately come together just 10 days after they saw each other backstage at a Journey concert in Bristow, Va.? The couple now admits they had been communicating via text "for a while" over a device a friend had sneaked to Michaele so the controlling Tareq wouldn't find out she had a pipeline to the outside world. (Repeated e-mails and calls to Tareq Salahi for comment for this story have gone unanswered.) "Neal was like, 'Are we going to do this forever?' And I said, 'No, we're not,'" Michaele said of the moment she realized it was time to make another life decision. "I began to see he really loved me. I had to begin to feel it completely–in my soul." That was when she knew she would leave her husband. Neal sent complimentary tickets and backstage passes to the Salahis to come to the Labor Day weekend concert being held just 20 miles east of their home in Linden, Va. The ever-sociable Tareq showed up backstage with a video camera, Michaele, and Michaele's friend Irina. He urged the women to surround Neal and kiss him, "Ahhh. There you go … hugs and kisses for Neal!!! Rock on, Journey!" Tareq is heard cooing in the background. (Tareq would later supply that video and other materials to the gossip website TMZ in an effort to humiliate his wife.) Tareq had no way of knowing exactly what had happened just moments earlier in Schon's dressing room. But if he did have an inkling of his wife's behavior that night, he chose to put on a happy public face. "What happened was … she takes off her wedding ring, OK, right in front of Tareq—takes it off," Neal told The Daily Beast, sounding astonished. "And then she proceeds to come into my dressing room where I'm sitting down. I have tennis shoes on and she's, like, nine feet tall over me." Neal's voice took on a joyful tone as he told the story, and I could hear Michaele giggling in the background. He continued: "And she looks down at me like she's standing on stilts and says, "I love YOU. And, that's never gonna change. And when that happened I said, 'Get over here! This has taken 15 years!'" In retelling their story on the phone these not-too-young lovers sounded like teenagers who had just gotten the keys to Dad's car. They were finally together and nothing else mattered. The night of the concert, Sept. 4, Neal urged Michaele to get on the tour bus with him. "I was pretty close to doing it," Michaele said. "But then I thought, No, that's not who I am. That would be public humiliation for Tareq." She explained to Neal that she had obligations and things to wrap up over the next few weeks but she told him that night: "We will be together. I promise." She went home with her husband that night. Nine days later, Michaele says she realized she couldn't stay. "I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I realized I was hurting myself." And, according to Michaele, "Tareq was too controlling." Neal jumped in to elaborate. "He says, 'Don't go out of the house, you can't have any money, I took all the money, you don't have a telephone, you can't drive'—plus, there are cameras in every room!" (After spending considerable research time in the Salahi house in mid-2010, I can confirm it contains a sophisticated surveillance system.) Last Tuesday, Tareq left home to go to the family's nearby Oasis Vineyard to ready things for an upcoming bankruptcy auction that was held this past weekend. He did not know that Michaele and Neal had been texting back and forth: "Michaele come, I don't want to wait anymore," Schon wrote. Michaele agreed, and told The Daily Beast, "I was going crazy. Because when you want to be with someone that bad, you start to go crazy. He sent someone to come get me. I got on a plane by myself and I just went. I just walked away from everything." [From The Daily Beast] So Michaele chose Tareq back in 90s because of her illness, but she meant to chose the Journey guy, who has been married five times. She would have burned through that guy in a year or two if she would have picked him back then instead of Tareq. How many groupies has he been with? It’s probably into the dozens at least. And of course Michaele wants a reality show with Neal and hopes to be a singer. The Chicago Sun Times reports that she’s working with Neal to “both shepherd her singing ‘talent’ and participate in a TV show that apparently is being pitched to a couple of independent production companies.” Props to all of you who mentioned Journey songs in our last story on this, particularly that Schon had welcomed Michaele with “Open Arms,” that they shouldn’t “Stop Believin’” in their crusty love, and that she was no longer acting “Faithfully” to Tareq. *The Daily Beast reports that Schon’s marriage in Paris two months ago might not have been legally binding. Still, Schon had been with his latest partner for two years. Check out this guy’s bad face lift. photo credit: WENN

Is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looking “too thin” at London Fashion Week? Posted: 20 Sep 2011 08:29 AM PDT As you may remember, I ended up enjoying the summer publicity tour for Transformers: Dark of the Moon, mostly because I liked Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's fashion show. She wore some okay dresses, some showgirl dresses, but there were also a few game-changing styles that made me think that Rosie has the potential to be one of the most stylish English girls out there. So… these are photos of Rosie during London Fashion Week, all from the past few days. The black velvet dress is my favorite - I love it, I would love to own it, and I think it's Tom Ford. She wore it to honor Tom Ford, that why I think that's the designer ID. The other outfits are Burberry, and they're lovely too, although I'm not wild about the white. Anyway, I thought we would talk about Rosie and how she looks a little bit thin, but I became aggravated when I went through The Daily Mail's stories about Rosie. In one, they're talking about how gorgeous she looks in the white dress. In another, they're bashing her for her weight loss, and in yet another article, they've interviewed her personal trainer, who is giving tips for how to lose weight fast. It's all just standard-issue schizophrenic messaging from The Mail, and I'm not even going to bother. Yes, Rosie looks like she lost some weight in these photos, but enough with the mixed messages from the media. She's probably been running around, doing 20 million different things, and she looks fine. Photos courtesy of WENN and Pacific Coast News.

George Clooney’s Norwegian bank commercial: his funniest performance ever? Posted: 20 Sep 2011 07:57 AM PDT These are some photos of George Clooney on the Beverly Hills set of a new commercial for Mercedes-Benz. He filmed the commercial over the weekend, and as you can see, Clooney was animated and looking funny. I mean, he was being funny - he looked surprisingly great. After a weird moment last year when Clooney looked like he had gotten a toupee and some tweaking, old-school Clooney is back, at last. His hair has grown out (or he got a new piece - HAIR piece), his forehead doesn't look so strange, and he seems fit and healthy. Elisabetta Canalis was bad for him as far as how he looked, I think. Maybe Stacy Keibler will be better for him. Anyway, I really just wanted to talk about this new commercial that Clooney did for the Norwegian bank DnB NOR. It is ridiculously funny, and I love how much both Clooney and this actress sell the story: That ad is so smart and funny. I wish we had ads like that in America. It plays into the fantasy some women (me) have about getting drunk and getting into an adventure. Only my adventure ends up with me in bed with Michael Fassbender and Clive Owen. That should be the next ad. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Does Leonardo DiCaprio pull off the ‘J. Edgar’ transformation? Posted: 20 Sep 2011 07:38 AM PDT The trailer for Clint Eastwood's new film is finally out. This is J. Edgar, the Leonardo DiCaprio-starring project about the J. Edgar Hoover years at the FBI. It's a bio-pic, but I think the focus is more about morality and domestic spying and how Hoover made the FBI into the organization it is? Armie Hammer plays Hoover's right-hand man and possible lover, and Dame Judi Dench stars as Hoover's mom. Oh, and you might think that the redhead is just a budget Scarlett Johansson, but it's actually Naomi Watts, styled to look like ScarJo for some reason: My first thought was that Judi Dench owns this junk. I would love to see Clint Eastwood and Judi Dench, just chilling out and having a beer together, so I like the idea that Clint directed one of the great English actresses. And Judi and Leonardo look very nice together as mother and son, don't they? I wonder if they got along. Leo has a thing about his own mom, so I suspect he was lovely and respectful of Judi, and I also suspect that Judi will probably be the "shoo-in" for all of the supporting actress awards. That seems to be Clint's idea - look how prominently Judi figures into the trailer. As for Leonardo… I think he pulls off the transformation into the older, grosser-looking J. Edgar rather well. I also think that Armie Hammer is going to be the eye-candy of this film, right? Leo is letting Armie be the "pretty one". Anyway… yes, this looks good. I'm very interested in seeing this film, but it's not a fan-girl hysteria or anything. Photos courtesy of WENN, poster courtesy of JoBlo.

Brad Pitt goes solo to the premiere of ‘Moneyball’: where was Angelina? Posted: 20 Sep 2011 07:12 AM PDT These are some new photos of the Moneyball premiere/sausage-party last night in Oakland. Surprisingly, Brad Pitt did not show up with Angelina Jolie. This bothers me. I mean, I'm not sitting here thinking, "Ooh, TROUBLE, I bet Angelina stormed out or Brad Pitt stormed out and now the gerbils will be left parentless!" I'm bothered that Brad Pitt did the solo outing because in the wake of his Parade interview (here and here for our coverage), I'm concerned that Brad is making it look like he thinks Angelina is a liability to him in his Oscar campaign. Which… maybe she is, maybe she isn't. But Brad said what he said in Parade, and Angelina didn't have anything to do with that interview, so why not just show the world a united front? It would have been smarter to do the carpet together. Eh, whatever. UPDATE: Us Weekly reports that Brad was having a grand old time at the post-premiere party. He sounds super-drunk. More photos…here's screenwriter/script-fixer Aaron Sorkin, looking rather dapper. Is it okay if I admit that I'm attracted to Aaron Sorkin? I think he's kind of pompous and stuff, but I kind of want to hatef–k him. Here's Chris Pratt… reviewers say that he's a scene-stealer. He's cute too. Jonah Hill, looking kind of creepy. And my boyfriend, Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's so beautiful. I would nail it to the wall. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Pippa Middleton & Peaches Geldof are the same level of celebrity Posted: 20 Sep 2011 07:07 AM PDT One of the things I love about the UK is that they don't seem to adhere to the America hierarchy standards of celebrity. In America, the film stars are the ultimate "get" for a party, followed by television stars, followed by reality stars. As far as political figures and anybody who does anything outside of Hollywood… well, they can become "celebrities" too, but they're going to be the exceptions to the American celebrity hierarchy. In the UK, I feel like it's more "anything goes!" Reality stars are given even more legitimacy over there, and (personally, IMO), I think the British have more respect and love for their television stars because they love TV more than we do. Anyway, in this bizarre celebrity universe in the UK, we have two women who, by most accounts, have done next to nothing to "earn" their celebrity: Pippa Middleton and Peaches Geldof. Pippa is famous because she's the sister of a girl who waited around for nine years for the future king to marry her. Peaches is famous because her mother was a tabloid wreck and her father is smug and well-connected. And somehow, Pippa and Peaches are the same. I know because they were both seated front row at yesterday's Temperley runway show during London Fashion Week. Surprisingly, Pippa showed up for a fashion event. Because she's a celebrity now, and bless her heart, she desperately needs some fashion help. But Peaches is no stranger to just showing up somewhere for no good reason - that's her "career". So… Pippa and Peaches are the same. Maybe they can both get some fashion help. By the way, how rough does Peaches look these days? She's so thin! And it's hilarious that she wore a gown to the Temperley show. I think the gown is Herve Leger, right? Tacky, tacky, tacky. That's her boyfriend, by the way. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Chaz Bono shows his moves on the Dancing with the Stars premiere Posted: 20 Sep 2011 06:22 AM PDT Last night was the big premiere of “Dancing with The Stars,” and a lot of the new contestants really brought it. Most notably, Chaz Bono showed that he learned a thing or two growing up with Sonny and Cher. The judges praised him for his footwork and timing, and he and partner Lacey Schwimmer earned a judges’ score of 17 for their cha-cha, placing them the bottom-middle of the pack. Chaz looked a little nervous to me, and he needs to work on not holding his hand over his belly, but you can tell he put an effort in. David Arquette fared a bit better with a score of 18 for his Viennese Waltz with Kym Johnson. I just loved watching him dance. Here’s more, from E!: Knowing he was the one that audiences were most anxious to see, producers craftily saved Chaz—the show’s first-ever transgender contestant—for last. But he was definitely not least! The author and Becoming Chaz star made the most preseason headlines, but he showed up ready to rumble, er, rumba! Under the tutelage of Lacey Schwimmer, Chaz wasn’t the best dancer, but he may have been the most pleasantly surprising. Not to mention “cute and cuddly,” as Bruno Tonioli duly noted. Clean-shaven and looking like a teenager, David Arquette waltzed two-time champ Kym Johnson around the floor like a guy with something to prove! (Or at least with someone to impress—daughter Coco and his still legally wedded wife Courteney Cox had front-row seats in the audience.) And his effort was not wasted, with none other than head judge Len Goodman saying he was “very, very impressed” by what Arquette put out there. Of course, he’s got the energy of an unbridled pony, so he has to tone it down a bit, but the eight-months-sober Scream star had great lines and infectious enthusiasm. [From E! Online] There’s more of a recap at E! along with the scores if you’re interested, and we have some of the videos below. (Search on first dance then the celebrity’s name in YouTube for the official videos from ABC.) As in past seasons, I’m sure we’ll be surprised by someone out of left field. This week, Iraqi war veteran and soap star J.R. Martinez tied for first place with singer Chynna Phillips for a high score of 22. I guess George Clooney’s ex, Elisabetta Canalis, really tanked big time. You can watch her below. She looks like a drunk stripper with those moves and will be voted off in no time. J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff. Check out the spin at :50. This is the guy to beat. David Arquette and Kym Johnson. I love his faces! Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovoloni. She can really dance but there’s something off-putting about her. Update: oh here’s Carson Kressley. I can’t believe I forgot about him. (Thanks Betsy!) He does the chicken dance at one point! The screencap below is from a video at Radar that also features the judges’ reactions to Chaz.

Julie Bowen is The Anti-Goop, she says that she hates her kids sometimes Posted: 20 Sep 2011 05:53 AM PDT A few weeks ago, Gwyneth Paltrow gave an interview about how happy she was for Beyonce and Bey's impending motherhood. Instead of just wishing Bey well, Dame Goop decided to lay on the "motherhood is the only thing that gives a woman's life significance" sanctimony. Goop's comment: "I think motherhood is the biggest blessing of all time and it give your life real meaning. It's always interesting when you're a woman with success and you've achieved a lot, and then you have a baby and you realize everything you thought was an achievement really is nothing until you have a kid." Goop really upset me and CB said something to me that was the crux of what I was trying to explain in my rage-filled, verbose way. Paraphrasing CB, she said something like: Being a mom is an achievement, and it does give your life a new meaning, but it's just different than other achievements in a non-comparable way. You can't compare being a mom to owning your own business, or getting your B.A., or any of the other achievements you can have. Anyway, I get tired of Hollywood moms trying to out-patronize other moms, or the childfree ladies. That's one of the reasons I like Julie Bowen - she isn't trying to out-mother anybody. She freely admits that some days she kind of hates her children. Parenting isn’t always pretty! Modern Family’s Julie Bowen won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Sunday night for her portrayal of Claire Dunphy, a mother of three whose kids’ antics sometimes drive her up the wall. The real-life mom of three admits that her experiences as a mom help her to relate to the neurotic character she plays. “If I wasn’t a mom, I think it’d be harder to understand what it is to live with a child and hate and love them all at once,” Bowen, 41, told Us Weekly Sunday at the Governor’s Ball in LA. “Claire does that with her kids, and I do that with mine.” (Bowen and husband Scott Phillips have a 4-year-old son, Oliver, and 2-year-old twin boys, John and Gus.) “I love them so much,” she added. “There’s always this undercurrent of love, but there are moments when I really wouldn’t mind if a giant hook just pulled them off the stage of my life! I think that’s how Claire feels. But if I wasn’t a parent, I think that dichotomy would confuse me.” The season premiere of Modern Family is Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC. [From Us Weekly] Honesty is so refreshing. Don't worry, though, the judgmental Mother Mafia is already preparing to lynch Julie for her refreshingly honest comments, particularly her use of the word "hate". I think it's better for Julie (or any mother) to openly discuss how aggravating it is to be a mom, rather than keep it all bottled up and lacquer it over with a layer of Botox, on top of a layer of denial, on top of a layer of vodka. MORE HONESTY. I've included some photos of Julie at various pre-Emmy events over this past weekend. I'm telling you, her style is slowly improving. It's not "good" but it's "better". Photos courtesy of WENN.

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