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- Jersey Shore Field Notes: The Vaginas Have Come Out
- Leprechauns and Catfights: Ryan Murphy Reveals How the Glee Project Finalists Fit Into Glee Season 3
- Real Housewife Of New York Kelly Bensimon Hosts Sexy Child Fashion Show
- Jennifer Aniston and Chaz Bono Are Both Unreconizable in This High School Photo
- The Daily WTF: The Pan Am Cast Gets Kiss-ified
- After The Rape Scene In Straw Dogs, You’ll Never Look At Alexander Skarsgard The Same Way
- The 5 Best Answers from Bear Grylls’ Reddit AMA
| Jersey Shore Field Notes: The Vaginas Have Come Out Posted: 16 Sep 2011 11:08 AM PDT
1:00 – Our specimens JWOWW, Ronnie and Snooki walk to work. They talk about Snooki’s made, Jionni, whom no one likes because he has terrible pheromones. 1:30 – The women arrive at work. Snooki says she doesn’t feel like working. So she decides to not work at work. 2:00 – Ronnie yells at women with a bullhorn. 3:00 – Marco, the pizzeria boss, gives the group a 15 minute break so they can go shopping for their weekend trip to the beach. They shop for 11 hours. 4:00 – Snooki calls Jionni. They accuse one each other of being rude. Jionni, PhD concludes the conversation by saying, "You guys are crazy. You guys are all fucking nuts." (Note: Give Jionni a job?) 5:00 – The specimens pack for their weekend in the seaside town of Ricionne. JWOWW brings everything she owns . 5:30 – Pauly thinks they’re bringing too many suitcases. He says, "Eights bags of luggage, two Fiats. You do the math." The math is eight bags of luggage and two Fiats. 8:00 – Our specimens arrive in Riccione and take inventory of their hotel, which reminds them of Jersey. (Analysis: They are seeing their own reflections and smelling their own hair products.) 9:00 – The men go out to eat. Situation sees his doppelganger at a restaurant. It is a burnt baguette. 10:30 – The girls do a hundred shots at a beachside bar and yell the word “vagina” over and over. (Diagnosis: Tourette’s?) 12:00 – Snooki and Deena are drunk (synonym for “wasted”) and they go shopping. 13:00 – JWOWW and Sam return to the hotel. Snooki and Deena hear club music and go find it. They men also hear club music and arrive. No one else hears this music because it’s like a dog whistle for guidos. 14:30 – Snooki dives face-first into a bush. 16:00 – Snooki and Deena dance. Deena dances so hard her underwear falls out, and it earns her the eternal respect of Pauly. 16:30 – The boys leave because they are embarrassed, which is an emotion they’ve never experienced before so they’re worried they’re dying. 17:00 – Our specimens meet for dinner. Deena and Snooki are nowhere to be found. Pauly blasts high-frequency club music and they appear suddenly. 19:00 – Deena and Snooki are very drunk but they decide to go to the club anyway. 20:00 – Our specimens arrive at the club and dance. 21:00 – Deena dances on a bench. She has no underwear on and everyone can see her vagina. According to JWOWW, she "needs a wax,” which is slang for “a hug.” 23:00 – Snooki and Deena booty dance. 23:30 – Snooki and Deena make out. 24:00 – Everyone decides it's time to go. Deena and Snooki both fall down. 24:30 – Deena and Snooki make out in the cab. 25:00 – Arriving home, they make out more. 25:00 – Deena and Snooki go to bed together. (Note: Has a parody porn of this been made yet?) 26:00 – The next morning, the male specimens go to breakfast. Pauly accuses Ronnie of being a "swacker" which means a "swagger jacker." If convicted, Ronnie will serve a felony term. 27:00 – The boys discuss Snooki's cheating and side with her mate Jionni, PhD, and wonder if he’ll break up with her. 28:00 – Deena and Snooki wake up in one another's arms. It is The Notebook, basically. 28:30 – Deena emerges from her bed looking ravaged. She says, "I need a food." (Note: Her skills as a hunter-gatherer are developing nicely.) 29:00 – Deena and Snooki do not remember anything. Deena says, "If I do sex, usually even if I'm blacked out I know I did sex." (Note: Add this question to I.Q. tests.) 30:00 – JWOWW and Sammi analyze the details to try and determine if Deena and Snooki had sex. A forensics team is coming later. 31:00 – Our specimens leave town. The girls' car starts smoking because Snooki left the parking brake on. 32:00 Snooki calls her mate Jionni. She tells him about her dalliance with Deena, but forgets to relay the funny part where Deena exposed her vagina. 33:00 – Jionni is not mad. Another victory for womankind. 35:00 – The gang goes to the pizzeria. Mike works hard and everyone is impressed, especially the water bottles, which have now been restocked. 26:00 – Snooki and Deena decide they don't want to be at work so they hide inside of trashcans. (Note: Get first-person account from Oscar the Grouch.) 37:00 – Snooki and Deena decide to drive to the gym. 38:00 – Snooki crashes her car into a cop car. 38:30 – Snooki does not have her license. Deena calls the boys to fetch Snooki’s license and bring it to them. Examining the document, the boys learn Snooki’s her given name is not actually “Snooki,” but rather, “Hello Kitty.” 39:00 – It appears the driver of the other car has been seriously injured. 40:00 – Hello “Snooki” Kitty is dragged off to jail. She appears excited about scoring an orange jumpsuit. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Leprechauns and Catfights: Ryan Murphy Reveals How the Glee Project Finalists Fit Into Glee Season 3 Posted: 16 Sep 2011 10:22 AM PDT
Even though The Glee Project announced two winners — Damian McGinty and Sam Larsen – Glee creator Ryan Murphy tells THR that the two runners-up will also get to appear in at least one episode of season 3. He’s already worked out many of the specifics around their guest spots. (If you’re a spoiler-phobe, you probably won’t like any of this, but it doesn’t give away any big twists.) Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Real Housewife Of New York Kelly Bensimon Hosts Sexy Child Fashion Show Posted: 16 Sep 2011 09:56 AM PDT
We know this because Bensimon hosted an event put on by children’s brand Cicciabella yesterday called “The Cowgirl Riders Debutante Fashion Show,” where attractive children strutted their stuff while tarted up “like JonBenet Ramsey.” Via The New York Post:
If the name Eden Wood sounds familiar, it’s because she’s the 6-year-old pageant queen who recently retired from the circuit to focus on superstardom, as she and her stage mom told Good Morning America earlier this summer. Other songs she performed to in the show included M.C. Hammer‘s “Can’t Touch This” (do you hear that, pedophiles?), Vanilla Ice‘s “Ice Ice Baby” (because she’s a baby) and her original brag track “Cutie Patootie.” (Yes, she rhymes “patootie” with “booty.”) When asked by The Post if she thought the routines were a bit too mature for six-year-olds, Bensimon gave an answer that did herself few favors:
So it’s okay for children to be inappropriately sexual because grown-ups are telling them to? I’m pretty sure that’s the opposite of what the puppets teach you. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Jennifer Aniston and Chaz Bono Are Both Unreconizable in This High School Photo Posted: 16 Sep 2011 09:46 AM PDT
Of course there’s the obvious point that Chaz got gender reassignment surgery in 2009 and now lives as a man. But even during his time living as a woman, we were used to Chastity with more weight and short hair. And while you can pick out Jennifer’s famous features, she’s sporting what many believe to be her old nose. (On Inside the Actors Studio in July, she basically admitted that she’d gotten a nose job for cosmetic reasons, instead of the usual excuse of deviated septum.) The photo comes from Jennifer’s interview with Allure in January; about her former schoolmate, she said, ”Every day a group of us would go to Chaz’s house after school. I haven’t spoken to him in a while.” Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| The Daily WTF: The Pan Am Cast Gets Kiss-ified Posted: 16 Sep 2011 09:41 AM PDT
I was delighted when I spotted this graffitied-upon poster for the new ABC series Pan Am in a subway station last night — the leading ladies have been turned into the band Kiss! Now that’s a show I’d watch. “Gene Simmons stars as a wayward stewardess in this drama set in the 1960s.”
The actual series Pan Am, which stars Christina Ricci, will premiere the night of September 25th. We’ll see how many encores they’re asked to play. Post from: Crushable |
| After The Rape Scene In Straw Dogs, You’ll Never Look At Alexander Skarsgard The Same Way Posted: 16 Sep 2011 09:38 AM PDT
Of course, I am well aware that Alexander Skarsgard is just playing a role in this movie, and the character has nothing to do with the actor himself. But I have had more than a little crush on the smoking hot Swede — I think everyone at Crushable does — and after seeing him commit a forceful rape on screen in Straw Dogs this week, I don’t think I’ll ever be attracted by him again. Straw Dogs, which opens in theaters today, follows Hollywood screenwriter David Sumner (James Marsden) and his wife Amy (Kate Bosworth) as they return to Amy’s hometown in Mississippi to fix up and sell her father’s house after his death. Confronted by Amy’s former life and the townspeople she grew up with (including her ex-boyfriend Charlie (Skarsgard) who David hires to fix the roof of a barn on their property) Amy and David test the bonds of their relationship as they face utter torment. The original Straw Dogs drew controversy because of its violence, particularly in the brutal rape scene of Amy. Even though I hadn’t seen the original before viewing the updated version this week, I knew what to expect. In both movies, there are actually two rapes that take place, one after the other. First, Charlie forces his way into Amy’s house after he and his friends have lured David into the woods on a hunting trip and abandoned him. Charlie rapes Amy, while his friend Norman (played by Rhys Coiro here, aka Billy Walsh on Entourage) quietly slips into Amy’s house. When Charlie is done, Norman forcefully rapes Amy himself, as she screams and cries. As I sat in the theater, I had a physical reaction to the horrible assault: I could barely stay in my seat, I covered my eyes and cried. Honestly, I would have walked out of the movie at that point if I wasn’t watching it for Crushable. After seeing this new version of Straw Dogs I decided to do more research, and I watched the rape scene from the original movie. Straw Dogs has long been used as an example of the director Peckinpah’s poor treatment of women on screen. In his version, Amy actually seems to enjoy being raped by her ex-boyfriend at times. Though she resists Charlie and screams at first, by the end she’s kissing him, clasping him and then tells him to hold her. The two are practically cuddling when Norman storms in, aims a gun at Charlie and forces him to hold down Amy while he rapes her. During that assault, she is clearly not enjoying it at all. When the movie was released, some versions cut out Norman’s rape, to make the movie overall less violent. But leaving out the second part complicated matters by making it seem that Amy was enjoying herself. Women actually enjoying being raped is one of the many misconceptions held by the public about rape, along with, “She was asking for it.” Interestingly, the updated version of Straw Dogs does touch on the “Is she asking for it?” theme, even before the rape occurs. One of the first notes I took while watching the movie was, “Kate Bosworth should wear a bra.” Minutes later, the movie showed Amy out for a morning jog wearing only shorts and a thin tank top. No shoes. No bra. As she passes the workmen, including Charlie, she is visibly ogled. When she goes inside the house and tells David, he responds: “Well, maybe you should wear a bra?” Furious, Amy snaps, “Are you saying I’m asking for this?” Then she goes into the upstairs bathroom and starts unbuttoning her shirt while Charlie and his friends watch — slamming the shutters before they can see any of the goods. But even if she’s not wearing a bra and undressing provocatively in front of them, Amy is definitely not asking to be raped. No woman deserves to be raped. And when it comes to the big moment, the new version does a good job, in my opinion, of portraying an attack on a woman being assaulted against her will. Charlie forces himself into her house and pins her down on the couch. There is a point in the rape where Amy stops fighting, but I did not think that she was enjoying herself at all. In fact, at the end of it all, right before Norman enters, Amy’s eyes are closed and Charlie yells at her to open them and look at him. The whole time, he’s thinking she’s enjoying herself because of the history they share. But when she keeps her eyes clamped shut, he explodes. And that is where the rape scene in the updated Straw Dogs took a horrific turn. Although he is carrying a gun, Norman doesn’t have to threaten Charlie to get him to release Amy into his clutches. Scorned, Charlie sits in a chair watching Norman hold Amy over the back of the couch. Although Charlie’s attack is shown to exact detail, the camera focuses mostly Alexander Skarsgard’s cold stare with Amy’s screams in the background while Norman is doing his worst. It is that stare that has been haunting me since I saw Straw Dogs. It is giving me nightmares. Though I grew to love Alexander Skarsgard while watching him commit unspeakable crimes against humankind on True Blood, the violent acts he commits on HBO haven’t seared my retinas in the same way, probably because his character is a vampire. Humans shouldn’t do this to other humans. And even rape is treated harshly on True Blood (see: Tara’s plotline at the end of Season 3). It’s because of this that I don’t know if I can ever look at Alexander Skarsgard in the same light. Rationally, I know he’s just playing a role but emotionally I’m scarred. And, I won’t even get into what happens at the end of Straw Dogs. That will really eff you up. If you make it that far. (Photo via the movie’s official website. Tellingly, the critic’s quote featured is, “One of the most frightening moviegoing experiences.”) Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| The 5 Best Answers from Bear Grylls’ Reddit AMA Posted: 16 Sep 2011 09:32 AM PDT Man vs. Wild star Bear Grylls logged on to Reddit the other day to post an AMA (Ask Me Anything) thread, and it was appropriately badass. Some quick questions he just typed out, but for the most part Bear posted video responses from himself and his long-suffering cameraman Simon, “the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers” of survival TV. Here are our favorites. His least favorite thing to eat, plus the food that was most surprisingly good: Are the cameramen doing the same intense things but also carrying their gear? The most surprising location he’s survived in — one that he thought would be a cakewalk but wasn’t: The worst place he’s ever had to spend the night: Was the scene where he barely outruns a train in a tunnel real or fake? real train, real tunnel, real new underpants needed afterwards! Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
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(By an anthropologist)
Kelly Bensimon, formerly of The Real Housewives of New York, does not want children to hide their sexy light under a bushel. On the contrary, she wants them to let their sexy light shine, preferably while dressed as “Like A Virgin” era Madonna (fitting?) and/or a sexy cowgirl or some sort.
Us magazine 
Alexander Skarsgard may play a blood thirsty vampire on True Blood, but his character’s violence on HBO is nothing compared to the horrible attack that he inflicts on Kate Bosworth‘s character in the new movie Straw Dogs. (Spoiler Alert? This movie is famous for its horrific rape scene.) This remake may not be as emotionally conflicted as Sam Peckinpah‘s 1970s film of the same name, but after all the intense violence that happens on screen, you may never be able to look at Alexander Skarsgard the same way again. At least I won’t be able to.| You are subscribed to email updates from Crushable To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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