Cele|bitchy

From the Desk of Clive Owen: It’s been too long, ladies
Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux make another loved-up NYC outing
Ryan Gosling hasn’t met anyone who can “top” Sandra Bullock & Rachel McAdams
Tim Gunn blasts Kirstie Alley for “lying deceptive shell game of vanity sizing”
Heidi Montag celebrates her 25th birthday in Vegas, her face looks awful

From the Desk of Clive Owen: It’s been too long, ladies

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 09:01 AM PDT

FROM THE DESK OF CLIVE OWEN:

My darling ladies, my lovely bitches. It's been much too long! What have you done in my absence? Or should I ask, WHO you have done? I know you were showing some interest in that Fassbender fellow - I approve of him, as you know. He's the only true heir to the Clive-Dong. He's a wonderful partner in homoeroticism as well. I remember seeing that ginger hair, looking over at his tight body in a pair of tight jeans and leather, and I knew that whatever we needed to do to bring the homoerotic love to our ladies, it would be worth it. You can fan your biscuits now.

But what have I been doing, you may ask. I was in Toronto to check in on my lovely Canadian bitches. And now I'm in San Sebastian, because you know I love some Spanish ladies. I'm also promoting a horror movie I did called Intruders. It's terrifying, but don't worry. I'll hold you close while we watch it together. I'll press my body against yours, and I'll run the tips of my fingers down your back while you nestle your face into my chest. "Don't worry," I'll growl. "Clive is here to make it all better." And then I'll unzip my pants.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux make another loved-up NYC outing

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 08:28 AM PDT

These are some photos of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in NYC - some are from Friday night, when they left "their apartment" to go out to dinner, and the photos where they're wearing sunglasses are from Saturday. We have about a million photos from their Saturday outing - apparently, Justin and Jennifer "went for a walk" in the city, and about a hundred photographers managed to get photos of them. I'm not saying that Aniston called the paps. I'm saying that in the wake of Brad Pitt's comments about their marriage, Aniston was like, "Hey, Justin, we should go for a walk and in case we get photographed, we should look really lovey-dovey." It helps that I think they are in fact pretty lovey-dovey. I buy them as a couple. Justin seems comfortable in his own skin, and he's not freaked out by the media intrusion into his life. It's all very interesting…

According to Radar, JustJen went to the West Village, where they ate at a Japanese restaurant, EN Shochu Bar. Radar also says that Justin went with Jennifer to the Beverly Hills hospital where her mom, Nancy Dow, is recovering after a stroke. As to why Aniston and Theroux have made the move to NYC right now - well, it might have something to do with the paparazzi swarm outside of their new Hollywood Hills rental. TMZ reports that Aniston's new neighborhood has been thrown into chaos since she and Justin moved in. The paparazzi are blocking driveways, creating traffic hazards, and generally being nuisances.

Just to play devil's advocate (haha), I can't believe they're walking around, out in the open, being SO DISRESPECTFUL to Heidi Bivens, Justin's girlfriend of 14 years, who he dumped for Jennifer. Since there's as much "evidence" to suggest that Justin Theroux did the exact same thing that Brad Pitt allegedly did with Angelina Jolie, how is it that Aniston is forever the victim again? Look at her - she’s fine. She’s got a boyfriend that she loves, and she’s happy. Stop throwing pity parties for her.

Oh, and do her hips look bigger to anyone else? And her boobs look bigger too. I’m not ruling out the idea that she’s preggo.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Ryan Gosling hasn’t met anyone who can “top” Sandra Bullock & Rachel McAdams

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 07:56 AM PDT

These are some new photos of Ryan Gosling hard at work on The Gangster Squad, a period film which has Gosling dressing up like an extra from Chinatown. The period costume works on him, though - it always does. Some men can just pull it off. Anyway, last week, Ryan had a new interview which has already caused some people to declare him The Anti-Brad Pitt. As in, Gosling says really nice things about his exes while Brad will cryptically declare that his life with previous partners was totally dull. Of course, Brad Pitt gets points for not taking every chick he knows to Disneyland. And personally, I think Gosling is more of a Gerard Butler-type than an anti-Brad Pitt.

Ryan Gosling may be the object of many fans’ affections, but when it comes to his own personal life, he shares that he’s only had two true loves: Sandra Bullock and Rachel McAdams.

“I had two of the greatest girlfriends of all time. I haven’t met anybody who could top them,” the 30-year-old star told UK-based newspaper The Times, about Bullock (who he dated from 2002-2003) and McAdams (who he dated from 2004-2008).

The Drive actor claims that Hollywood is to blame for the end of his relationships.

“Showbusiness is the bad guy. When both people are in show business it’s too much showbusiness. It takes all of the light, so nothing else can grow,” the actor, who has also been tied to actresses Blake Lively, Olivia Wilde and Kat Dennings, said.

But it seems one possible relationship seed has been planted: Gosling, 30, was spotted on a private tour of Disneyland, hand-in-hand with Eva Mendes, 37. The pair walked through the magical theme park, stealing kisses from each other and showing major PDA.

Gosling did confirm to The Times that he is in one committed relationship: film. “I’m giving as much to it as a marriage,” he said. I’d like to be making babies but I’m not, so I’m making movies. When someone comes along I don’t think I’ll be able to do both and I’m fine with that. I’ll make movies until I make babies. I have no idea when the handover will happen.”

The blonde heartthrob-turned-good-Samaritan grabbed the hearts of millions when he recently broke up an NYC fist fight between two men and sent a letter on behalf of PETA, standing up to slaughterhouses.

[From Us Weekly]

Part of me likes Gosling's direct and thoughtful answers, and that he's willing to talk about making his career a priority, like he would a marriage or fatherhood. Part of me thinks that Gosling is too try-hard and immature, though. I don't know… the Disneyland thing has thrown me for a loop, and in the past year, it seems like Gosling really is just dating, screwing and then dumping/ignoring every single girl he meets. It's a disturbingly Gerard Butler-like pattern. I'm not saying that Gosling should just settle down for the hell of it or anything, I'm just pointing out that he's trying to have his nice-guy cake and eat it too. Gosling gets as much "strange" as Gerard Butler, but Butler doesn't play this "I'm just a nice guy and I want babies" game. Gosling gets the best of both worlds - he gets to screw around and date beautiful women and then dump them, and he gets to keep his reputation as the nice guy who is just looking for something meaningful and true. Gerard is just a slut, and he doesn't care who knows. Plus, Gerard doesn't take every date to Disneyworld. Team Butler. Wait, what was I saying?

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.

Tim Gunn blasts Kirstie Alley for “lying deceptive shell game of vanity sizing”

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 07:28 AM PDT

Last week, Kirstie Alley made her runway debut at NYFW, wearing some terrible blue ensemble. After disappearing for a little while (probably to get some kind of Xenu-audit, or whatever Scientologists do when they mysteriously disappear for weeks at a time), Kristie was BACK, with a vengeance. "Back" being some kind of code for Kristie's continuing adventures in delusional numbers. I won't even get into Kristie's history of claiming nonsensical things about her size, because we've got a whole new interview to make fun of:

Kristie Alley has majorly slimmed down since her stint on the ABC show. “I’ve lost 100 pounds,” she told Entertainment Tonight in an interview that aired Tuesday.

“I feel like I’m back in my element,” the 60-year-old said. “I honestly didn’t even realize what I looked like.”

On Tuesday, Alley strutted her banging body on the Zang Toi catwalk in NYC. Clad in an elegant-yet-dramatic royal blue, rhinestone-adorned gown, she wowed the audience as she closed her designer pal’s Spring 2012 show.

“Before Dancing with the Stars, I bought these dresses from size 14 to 4,” she explained. “[They were] all the same dress, and I said, ‘You know what I really want? I really wanna be in this dress in a 4!’”

So does the actress — who says she is indeed now a size 4! — want to follow up her weight loss with a little nip and tuck? “I haven’t had plastic surgery but here’s the reason: People do plastic surgery to make you look younger,” she said. “I don’t think it makes you look younger. I like it can make you look weirder.”

Alley’s trim new physique might attract some more male suitors, but they should be prepared: she’s not looking for anything long term! “This is what I think about sex,” she said bluntly. “I think its fun to hookup every night for six months… Then it’s time to move on!”

[From Us Weekly]

100 pounds? But Kristie claimed she was a "stretchy size 8" when she began Dancing With the Stars, and now she's maintaining that she went down to a size 4. A 100-pound weight loss does not equal a drop from a size 8 to a size 4. Plus, I don't think she lost 100 pounds. I think she lost maybe 40 to fifty pounds, and went down from something like a size 18 to a 12. That's what Tim Gunn thinks too (sort of), and he's calling Kristie out for being insane:

When Kirstie Alley revealed in an Entertainment Tonight clip that she has lost 100 pounds since being on Dancing with the Stars and is down to a size 4, Tim Gunn raised a perfectly groomed, silver eyebrow.

In an interview with Tampa radio station 98.7 FM, the Project Runway star shed some light on the actress’ size claim saying, “There is a phenomenon out there right now that I call the lying deceptive shell game of vanity sizing. In fact a 4 is really a 6 or an 8.”

The chief creative director for Liz Claiborne explained his theory, which was based on an experiment he did at Parsons.

“We took a size 8 dress from 1980 one from 1990 and one from 2000 and compared them — the difference between them was two and a half inches in the waist alone!” said Gunn.

As for Alley’s true size, the fashion guru guesses that she’s between a size 8 and a 10.

“But she looks fabulous,” he added. “People are too size conscious.”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay, Tim was a lot nicer than most people about Kristie's delusional sizing. Here's the thing, though - I don't think Kristie is being "fooled" by vanity sizing, meaning that the designers are to blame. I think she's so crazy that her assistants probably sew in new labels to her size 12 or 14 clothes so that she can maintain this idea that she's a "size 4".

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Heidi Montag celebrates her 25th birthday in Vegas, her face looks awful

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 06:58 AM PDT

I haven't written about Heidi Montag in a while, for good reason. One, who cares? Two, many media outlets stopped reporting on Heidi and Spencer, so there wasn't that much "news" about them. Three, Heidi actually seemed to take her famewhoring down a notch. These are the first new photos we've had of her in a while (months). Heidi was photographed in Las Vegas, celebrating her 25th birthday at a club called Vanity. Yes, this is the face of a 25-year-old. Can you believe it? Heidi looks like hell. If you told me she was seriously sick, I would believe you.

Heidi is still with Spencer, by the way. He was helping her celebrate her birthday, and you can see photos of him at the Mail - he's looking pretty rough too. My guess, for him, is drugs. Something really hard too, like meth. As for Heidi… I think it's a combination of things. One, she's gained some weight, which isn't a big deal or anything, but the weight gain with all of the plastic surgery… it's made her look stretched and puffy. Plus, she's probably on drugs too. Her eyes look really glassy. The Mail says that she was drinking heavily too.

As for how Heidi and Spencer have been spending their time… last I heard, they were still "broke". I think they're still living in LA, somewhere, perhaps at the beach. Oh, and they were charging people $20 to $40 a ticket to party with Heidi for her birthday. Sad.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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