The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly


The Crap We Missed – Thursday 9.15.11

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 02:59 PM PDT

Kris Humphries Pedicure Sophie Monk Short Shorts Elizabeth Berkley 
“Funny story. Kim won’t even do this unless there’s a camera in the room and I sign a form waving all ‘proprietary rights.’ What does that even mean?” Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Leelee Sobieski squandering all the goodwill her breasts were earning, a man I don’t dream of spending alone time Read More ...

Of Course Paula Abdul is Going To Be Drunk On X-Factor

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 01:55 PM PDT

Paula Abdul Drunk X Factor Simon Cowell Nicole Scherzinger Paula Abdul Drunk X Factor Simon Cowell Nicole Scherzinger Paula Abdul Drunk X Factor Simon Cowell Nicole Scherzinger 
Here’s Paula Abdul at the premiere of X-Factor last night where she fulfilled her contractual obligation to show up blatantly shit-faced drunk and sexually harass her co-workers. On that note, I added captions to each of these puppies because bombed out cougars are nature’s punchline thanks to God’s first wife burning his dinner. “Oh, I’ll Read More ...

January Jones Birthed Her Bastard

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 01:52 PM PDT

January Jones Son Xander January Jones Son Xander January Jones Son Xander 
After five years, by my count, January Jones has finally birthed her illegitimate child forged in a hotbed of adultery and whatever you call stuff behind Claudia Schiffer‘s back. People reports: Mad Men star January Jones, 33, welcomed her first child on Tuesday, her rep confirms to PEOPLE. Son Xander Danes Jones and mom are Read More ...

Paz de la Huerta Got Drunk, Too

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 01:50 PM PDT

Paz De La Huerta Drunk Cleavage Paz De La Huerta Drunk Cleavage Paz De La Huerta Drunk Cleavage 
Somehow between Paula Abdul and Clan Lohan, there was enough booze leftover for Paz de la Huerta to consume before walking the red carpet at HBO’s Boardwalk Empire premiere last night. So here she is somehow managing to look surprisingly hot for a woman I’m almost positive fell into a plant moments before pissing into Read More ...

Jay-Z Has A Secret Son

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 11:19 AM PDT

Jay-Z Secret Son Jay-Z Secret Son Jay-Z Secret Son 
Apparently, Beyonce isn’t carrying Jay-Z‘s firstborn, according to a new report that claims nine years ago he secretly knocked up a Trinidadian model Shenelle Scott who tried to convince her boyfriend Malik the baby was his only to have that plan blow up and earn her a million dollars in hush money. Via RadarOnline: "Maybe Read More ...

What The Hell Did PETA Do To My Kelly Brook’s Face?

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 10:34 AM PDT

Kelly Brook PETA Kelly Brook PETA Kelly Brook PETA 
Here’s Kelly Brook posing for PETA as some sort of snakewoman to stop.. snake abuse? (Way too late for that. Adding… really? Snakes? We’re protecting snakes now?) And if you’re wondering why they had to Photoshop the ever-living crap out of it, that’s because PETA let resident vegetarian Bryan Adams – Yes, that Bryan Adams. Read More ...

Lindsay Lohan Still Has Huge Breasts, And I Dunno, Something About Drinks

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 09:41 AM PDT

Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan Cleavage 
Blib blib blabba huge boobs blabba blabba duck lips yadda yadda did more stupid shit. Via omg! on Yahoo: The official Women’s Wear Daily twitter account posted the following tweet last night: “Lindsay Lohan just threw a full drink at a boy at V magazine party who dared to snap her pic. #NYFW.” This “boy” Read More ...

Bar Refaeli is Midriffy and Other News

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 09:22 AM PDT

Bar Refaeli Bar Refaeli Bar Refaeli 
Posted by Photo Boy - Kate Winslet was “hacking” a chicken when her Emmy nomination was announced. So that’s what the Brits are calling it… - This is why we have an Internet. - This is why we shouldn’t have one. - Sofia Vergara doesn’t mind if you think she’s tucking Read More ...

Jennifer Love Hewitt Finally Found a Man

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 08:26 AM PDT

Jennifer Love Hewitt Drag Queen Bingo Party Jennifer Love Hewitt Drag Queen Bingo Party Jennifer Love Hewitt Drag Queen Bingo Party 
Continuing her quest to find a man, any man, to choose one of three pre-selected engagement rings from her purse, here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt with a tranny last night after she hosted bingo at a burger joint. On that note, I’m going to stop right there because I lack the comedy chops to come up Read More ...

Nicolas Cage and The Fudgesicle Bandit

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 07:23 AM PDT

Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle Nicolas Cage Naked Man Home Invader Fudgesicle 
“To this day, I’ll never understand why he only left the Creamsicles… *chokes up* Can we do this another time?” While promoting his new movie Trespass at the Toronto Film Festival, Nicolas Cage opened up about the time an intruder broke into his house and violated the sanctity of his frozen treats. Via Huffington Post: Read More ...

Sofia Vergara’s Probably Pregnant

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 06:49 AM PDT

Sofia Vergara Pregnant Prenatal Vitamins Sofia Vergara Pregnant Prenatal Vitamins Sofia Vergara Pregnant Prenatal Vitamins 
If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time alone crossing your fingers and praying for Sofia Vergara‘s breasts to somehow get even more awesome. Hell, sometimes I even try voodoo which I’m going to tell myself worked because here she is shopping for prenatal vitamins yesterday. While this could mean any number of Read More ...

Michaele Salahi Was Kidnapped If Kidnapped Means Banging Journey

Posted: 15 Sep 2011 06:16 AM PDT

Michaele Salahi Not Kidnapped Neal Schon Journey Michaele Salahi Not Kidnapped Neal Schon Journey Michaele Salahi Not Kidnapped Neal Schon Journey 
Yesterday, White House crasher turned Real Housewives star Tareq Salahi claimed his wife Michaele was abducted and even contacted the sheriff’s department before taking his case to TMZ. Turns out she left his ass to bang Journey’s Neal Schon and had already checked in with the police to make sure her husband didn’t find her: Read More ...
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