The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly


The Crap We Missed – Thursday 9.8.11

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 02:38 PM PDT

Sofia Vergara Breasts Vanity Fair Samantha Ronson Home Improvement Cast Tim Allen Patricia Richardson Jonathan Taylor Thomas 
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed: Dear Sweet Mother of God Edition… Can I stop writing now? I, uh, left a roast in the oven. — Fine, don’t believe me. But I’ll have you know it was going to be delicious! I’m moving to my mother’s! 12 Chardonnays Later… Today we’ve got the cast Read More ...

Jon Gosselin Tells Kate To Stop Bitching

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 01:09 PM PDT

Kate Gosselin Audi Jon Gosselin Kate Gosselin Audi Jon Gosselin Kate Gosselin Audi Jon Gosselin 
Yesterday, People released an exclusive interview with Kate Gosselin where she revealed she’s “freaking out” about how she’s going to provide for her kids now that Kate Plus 8 has been canceled, mostly because she’s been pissing all her money away on tummy tucks and new Audis (above). Enter Jon Gosselin who’s somehow managed to Read More ...

And Tara Reid Just Started World War III

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 12:07 PM PDT

Tara Reid Stomach Tara Reid Stomach Tara Reid Stomach 
Fresh off of getting drunk Tuesday night, here’s Tara Reid drunk last night where she thought it’d be an awesome idea to continually expose her midsection because apparently we don’t go to war with England enough. So hopefully they’ll start this thing now, and that way President-elect Rick Perry can try to pray our enemies Read More ...

Paris Hilton Wants To Be a DJ Now

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 10:46 AM PDT

Paris Hilton DJ Paris Hilton DJ Paris Hilton DJ 
Now that she’s officially become ratings poison on top of the kiss of death to any film she somehow stars in, Paris Hilton quickly needs to find a new career that requires minimal effort and absolutely zero talent. Something that’s as simple as, oh I dunno, say pressing play on iTunes then pretending you’re listening Read More ...

Of Course There’s a Topless Amy Winehouse Memorial Statue

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 09:47 AM PDT

Amy Winehouse Topless Memorial Statue Amy Winehouse Topless Memorial Statue Amy Winehouse Topless Memorial Statue 
Taking time off from such groundbreaking works as “Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez’s Love is a Goose Dick Inside an Armadillo” and “Maple Bieber Wiener: A Looney Tunes Retrospective,” artist Daniel Edwards has now drawn up plans for a Amy Winehouse bust at the behest of some British people he met on Facebook. (Read: Voices Read More ...

Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman is Fancy and Other News

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 09:10 AM PDT

Anne Hathaway Dark Knight Rises Catwoman Selina Kyle Anne Hathaway Dark Knight Rises Catwoman Selina Kyle Anne Hathaway Dark Knight Rises Catwoman Selina Kyle 
Posted by Photo Boy - Dave Grohl still wants Ryan Murphy to go fuck himself. - Anderson Cooper is a never-nude. - Scarlett Johansson is singing for Moet now. Of course. - Olivia Munn is wearing out her welcome with dresses like this. - But 1998's Miss Great Read More ...

Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin’s Marriage is Ridiculous

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 08:02 AM PDT

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Coach Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Coach Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin Coach 
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin went to the Coach dinner party in London last night. Except instead of arriving and leaving together like a normal couple, Chris literally ran from the paparazzi while Gwyneth hid in the backseat of their car under a blanket. Because God forbid our plebeian eyes might look upon them as Read More ...

Reese Witherspoon Got Hit by a Car

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 07:00 AM PDT

Reese Witherspoon Jogging Accident Reese Witherspoon Jogging Accident Reese Witherspoon Jogging Accident 
If you haven’t heard by now, Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car while jogging in Santa Monica yesterday except she’s completely fine and if I’m reading this correctly, she was just bumped by an elderly woman in the crosswalk. Or HANGING ON BY A THREAD which is what I probably should’ve written in the Read More ...

So Blake Lively’s Skirt Flew Up

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 06:08 AM PDT

Blake Lively Panty Flash Upskirt Blake Lively Panty Flash Upskirt Blake Lively Panty Flash Upskirt 
Apparently finding my offering of a 28-pic caption gallery rife with Captain America and Hawkeye homoerotic tomfoolery satisfactory, the Internet Gods have seen fit to make Blake Lively‘s skirt fly up while filming Gossip Girl in New York last night. Granted, this looks way less exciting than it sounds – What kind of panties are Read More ...

The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

Posted: 08 Sep 2011 05:00 AM PDT

Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos 
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for Read More ...
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