Cele|bitchy |
- January Jones leads the fug parade at the VF party: how awful did she look?
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the Vanity Fair party: does she look pregnant?
- Kate Hudson glowed in red Versace at the VF party, plus other hot couples
- Kim & Kourtney Kardashian at an Oscar Party: what’s white, black and orange all over?
- Kate Bosworth in Prabal Gurung at the Vanity Fair party: stunning or terrible?
- Oscar fashion: Did Tina Fey one-up Milla Jovovich in the glamour stakes?
- Angelina Jolie in leggy black Versace at the Oscars: silly, funny & gorgeous?
- George Clooney & Marchesa-clad Stacy Keibler: tacky, bitter or beautiful?
- Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams & Emma Stone: who was the best lady in red?
- Gwyneth Paltrow in white Tom Ford, with a cape: busted superhero or lovely?
| January Jones leads the fug parade at the VF party: how awful did she look? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 08:56 AM PST
Don't even ask at this point if there's any rhyme or reason to these groupings of photos. There's not. I was just going through the photos of the Vanity Fair post-Oscar party, pulling random images as I muttered to myself, "Ugh, hideous." So here's one of my contenders for worst dressed of the evening, January Jones in Wes Gordan. Like, I hate this in every conceivable way. I hate her hair, I hate her makeup, I hate the combination of colors, I hate the design. I can't find one nice thing to say. She looks terrible.
Claire Danes in frilly pink Valentino. It's… not my style. I think she's too old to wear it too. I would expect this on Taylor Swift, only she would find it too "revealing"!!
Diane Kruger in Calvin Klein. Er. The color is beautiful on her. Is the bra intentional? Is that part of the design? She looks cold, right? Cold and uncomfortable.
Here's Sofia Vergara in Cavalli – I don't like the dress on her at all. She's beautiful, but it looks like a really fussy wedding gown. I prefer her in sleeker looks.
Here's Kate Beckinsale in Julien Macdonald. At least it's not a prom dress? It's not a look she's done before, but there's a reason for that. This is awful!!
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet. |
| Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at the Vanity Fair party: does she look pregnant? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 08:56 AM PST
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes attended last evening’s Vanity Fair Oscar party after Tom presented the award for Best Picture and gleefully towered over Uggie in the process. As such, he probably felt manly enough to wear his “medium” dress shoe lifts while escorting his Xenu-ed wife to an afterparty. Katie really looks zoned out here, and I think her hair is a prime example of what Kaiser often describes as “bangs trauma.” That fringe is seriously overdone and ages Katie substantially. She’s only thirty-three years old but could’ve passed for forty with those bangs.
Now let’s talk about Katie’s dress. It’s a midnight blue Elie Saab with an embellished bodice that also boasted a faux-transparent effect in the boob area. The dress itself isn’t bad, but it makes Katie look …. rather pregnant. I don’t think that she actually is with child — it’s probably more of a combination of a dress that’s poufy in the midsection and Katie’s questionable posture. She’d probably look much better if she stood up straight and used her dancer’s posture, but I believe she’s used to slouching next to Tom. In addition, the gold chain is a wee bit tacky, and the makeup job is too precious for words with severe eyeliner to boot. Overall, Katie’s in serious need of some battery recharging. Now let’s go in for a closeup on Katie and Tom. He looks less tweaked than he did a few months ago, right? Those expert facelifts must have settled in a bit.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN      |
| Kate Hudson glowed in red Versace at the VF party, plus other hot couples Posted: 27 Feb 2012 08:25 AM PST
Here's a little post devoted to some of the couples who made big appearances at the Vanity Fair post-Oscar party. Here's Kate Hudson and her boyfriend/baby-daddy, Matthew Bellamy. My guess is that Kate really wanted to be invited to present at the Oscars, but producers overlooked her. So instead of staying home and pouting, she pured herself into a vintage Versace gown and went out to party. I think she looks really great here – soft and cute and very pretty. Matt looks nice too – it's good to see him partying with her crowd.
Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt. Look, you know how I feel about The Hamm. I'd like to think that he's a lovely, supportive, amazing man and a great partner to his girlfriend of more than a decade. But what does it say about him that Jennifer is always looking so… Botoxy and kind of desperate? I know you hate it when I say this, but she makes me uncomfortable. She's wearing a Johanna Johnson gown.
After Angelina Jolie's leg-posing, Victoria Beckham's little pout and patented head-tilt seems almost quaint. I think both Victoria and David look really great here. I'm assuming Posh is in her own design – she is her own best model! Haha.
Seriously, this is how Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth posed together at the Vanity Fair party. You know I like Miley, but good God! Tuck your ass in, girl. There's no need for that! Her dress is Cavalli, by the way. It's kind of meh.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN. |
| Kim & Kourtney Kardashian at an Oscar Party: what’s white, black and orange all over? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 08:05 AM PST
Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant, so maybe she gets a pass for this “ghost costume” sheet of a dress with a gold neckline. She was going for Grecian, and it sort-of works. I’m just wondering why her dress doesn’t have orange smears all over it. Kourtney and Kim must shellac themselves thoroughly. (Update: Kourtney’s dress is the Penelope Gown by Raoul.)
Kim’s dress isn’t bad, for her. The pattern close up is bizarre, but the fit is flattering and the cut outs along the skirt are kind of cool. Look at how fake baked her arms are though! She looks like an oompa loompa.
Oh Kardashians, you’re going to be fueling punch lines for a while longer now. Especially when you look like this.
          photo credit: FameFlynet and WENN.com |
| Kate Bosworth in Prabal Gurung at the Vanity Fair party: stunning or terrible? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 07:58 AM PST
I think we're pretty much done with covering the Oscar red carpet dresses, so that means it's time to really start focusing on the party girls. Not so surprisingly, given how boring the Oscar ceremony was, all of the fun people showed up at the parties rather than the actual event. Not that Kate Bosworth is "fun". Just that it would be fun to talk about her in the context of an Oscar red carpet, but that probably won't happen anytime soon. Just look at The Bos – she's been preparing for this Vanity Fair red carpet for WEEKS. Anyway, The Bos wore Prabal Gurung. The dress is… cute? It's suitable for the occasion – a sparkly cocktail dress that covers up everything that needs covering up. Her legs aren't even bugging me here. I feel like she might have gained a few pounds. That face, though. That face is "LOOK AT MEEEEeeeee!" Ah, The Bos. She's with her dude, too. Michael Polish. He seems engaged in her famewhore game, bless his heart.
And here's Boring McSnooze, Olivia Wilde in Gucci. She's a pretty girl but… I'd like to see her work with a different stylist. Either she goes way over the top, or it's just too dull for words. Find a happy-medium, Olivia!
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet. |
| Oscar fashion: Did Tina Fey one-up Milla Jovovich in the glamour stakes? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 07:38 AM PST
Tina Fey is so funny and self-deprecating but generally bores me to tears on the red carpet. Last night at the Oscars, however, she brought the glamour in a big way in a custom, midnight-blue Carolina Herrera gown with peplum detail and Bulgari jewels. Of her look, Tina said, “I’m just thrilled to be wearing this beatiful dress. At first I feared the peplum and now I love the peplum. Tina was the only star who wore Herrera last night, and she wore it damn well. She also did a variation on big hair with an upswept do that set the dress off perfectly. This is probably my favorite look on Tina ever.
Meanwhile, Milla Jovovich did her usual supermodel thing in a white, beaded Elie Saab gown: “When I saw this dress I just fell in love with it… clean and radiant, and I felt like this color was perfect.” Oddly, the color is the only thing that seems off about this dress, but I do covet the asymmetric look on Milla. She oozes old school Hollywood glamour, but I really feel like she can do this look in her sleep, so it was a little bit underwhelming at the same time. However, Milla’s Jacob & Co jewelry made quite the impact, and her makeup was very dramatic and fitting as well.
Glenn Close, who was nominated for Best Actress for her role in Albert Nobbs, donned a forest-green Zac Posen strapless dress and matching tuxedo jacket. Of course, this look was age appropriate, and she stated that if she won, she’d celebrate by “By staying up later than usual.” Glenn’s Bulgari jewels were gorgeous, but I wish she’d done a little something with her hair.
Missi Pyle (The Artist) wore a a sea-foam green dress by Delfino, which was constructed from recycled materials and silk made from “cruelty free silkworms.” I wasn’t entirely crazy about this dress, but CB liked it. Overall, the hair, makeup, and dress looked a little too sororityish for my tastes, but Missi’s figure looked amazing.
Photos courtesy of WENN              |
| Angelina Jolie in leggy black Versace at the Oscars: silly, funny & gorgeous? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 07:33 AM PST
OK, I'm ready to talk about Brangelina. No, wait. Let's just skip the Brad Pitt stuff, okay? Because it was like he was barely there. I'm happy that he was nominated twice, as producer and actor, and I would have loved if he had won, but he basically had no chance. Hopefully, he knew that. So let's just talk about Angelina Jolie and her LEG and this Versace gown. My thoughts on the gown in general – Angelina is comfortable in black, and she was made to wear Versace. It made her waist look tiny. CB and I think her arms look too skinny, so maybe she could have covered them up, but overall, I didn't hate this on Angie. It wasn't the best, it wasn't the worst. As for her posing and THAT LEG. I don't even know what was possessing her throughout the red carpet and then on stage – she shouldn't have to contort her body that hard in a gown. We understand – there's a high slit. Put your leg down, Jolie. So, Angelina's leg has now become a meme. Buzzfeed has "the ten best photos of Angelina's leg" here. Angelina's right leg also has its own Twitter account now. And when she presented Best Adapted Screenplay to the three screenwriters of The Descendants, they jokingly "assumed the position" with their legs out, and it was hilarious. I would have loved a cutaway to Angelina's face then, because I hope she was laughing at herself. So after The Descendants' guys "mocked" her (in what I thought was good humor), everyone was like "OMG, they think she's so stupid and obviously they hate her of course." Um, what? So the screenwriters are getting even more press by explaining that it was just a light-hearted JOKE.
[From EW] Nat Faxon went on to tell The Hollywood Reporter, "Angelina’s supremely hot. There’s no way to do anything but honor her." And Rash said, “I had just seen her pose and thought it was bold and fun. And you know what? We have exactly the same legs! Really, it was a loving tribute and nothing but.” See? It's fine. Brangeloonies, don't take a fatwa against these poor, funny screenwriters. Brange haters, chill out. These guys are not one of you.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| George Clooney & Marchesa-clad Stacy Keibler: tacky, bitter or beautiful? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 07:31 AM PST
Last night, Jean Dujardin and Harvey Weinstein scored a major victory when Dujardin, a little-known French actor with oodles of charm and humor and barely any name recognition, ended up taking home the Best Actor Oscar. Didn't Dujardin know that the Oscar was supposed to go to George Clooney?!?!? And so that became the conversation – how did Clooney lose what was considered a "sure thing"? Clooney came into the awards season ahead of everyone else, he was the one to beat, it was his to lose. So what went wrong? Are we looking at what went wrong in these photos? Are people getting tired of seeing Clooney's escort-of-the-moment on every red carpet? Now, I'm not really blaming Stacy Keibler. She's doing her best, she's hustling, she's trying to be the perfect Oscar-Date Barbie. Whatever happened between late December and today, it's all Clooney. He wants to date C-list wrestlers and scandal-prone Italian "performers" – which is fine. His choice. But he wants to dress them up and whitewash them – "Pretty Woman" these girls and force us to accept them as his equal partners. And it's just not working anymore, is it? That's what Clooney's body language on the red carpet told me – his face said, "I might need a new strategy." Of course, he might end up doubling-down on this strategy, though. Every time I think one of his girls is on the way out, she ends up hanging on for months longer. But it certainly seemed like he didn't want Stacy to even open her mouth, right? He seemed contemptuous. Bitter. So, poor Oscar-Date Barbie. I felt bad that she felt the need to dress up like a damn Oscar statue in this gold Marchesa. Why was everyone talking about how great this dress is? It's not good. And I have to say something shocking about it too – I think Stacy makes the dress look much better than it really should look. Somehow, a busted dress on a budget girl equals "not that horrible." I did hate Stacy's hair, though. And her earrings were horrible!! Last thing: we got a promotional email letting us know that Stacy had used "Biore Combination Skin Balancing Cleanser" before the Oscars. I wonder how much she got paid for that endorsement? Poor Oscar-Date Barbie.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams & Emma Stone: who was the best lady in red? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 07:29 AM PST
I wanted to group all of these dresses together for some reason last night. I don't remember why. In my defense, I was half asleep because the Oscars were so damn dull. Anyway, this is a post devoted to the "red dresses" of the Oscars. Look, don't even yell at me because you think Michelle Williams' gown is "coral" or "dark pink." It's a pink-orange-red. It's still a shade of red to me. Let's just start with Michelle's gown, okay? It's Louis Vuitton, and I dislike it. I'm not a complete hater, though. I just didn't think it was so special, and the peplum gave the impression of a little girl's party dress. Which… Michelle was probably going for, since she loves to dress like a little girl. Michelle's hair is her thing, and while I personally dislike it, I've grown to accept it. It's fine. Whatever. Michelle doesn't make my best-dressed or my worst-dressed. I just wish she would go back to her normal speaking voice and stop with the affected, lispy little-girl crap.
Here's Natalie Portman in vintage Dior. I liked it at first glance, but now that I'm really examining it… the polka dots are not great. The shade of red isn't the best. The fit is off, especially in the bust. The necklace doesn't go with the gown. Her hair is meh and her makeup is gorgeous, al always. And her K-Fed is shorn.
Here's Janet McTeer, nominee for Best Supporting Actress, in David Meister Signature. I think she looks really, really hot. Her body looks great, the dress is flattering, and she seems like she was just having fun.
Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli – although she claimed it's "fuchsia" – which it isn't. It looked too much like Nicole Kidman's gown in 2007. Plus, I don't like Emma in stuff that's high-necked. It makes her look stocky, which she isn't.
And here's Livia Firth in custom-made Valentino. It's too puffy, and the bust is weird. She's so supremely gorgeous though, I kind of forgot to look at her dress.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet. |
| Gwyneth Paltrow in white Tom Ford, with a cape: busted superhero or lovely? Posted: 27 Feb 2012 06:52 AM PST
I cannot stress this enough: Gwyneth Paltrow came to the Oscars wearing a CAPE. "Goop" isn't just her nickname and her specially-made newsletter for peasants – it's also her superhero name. Dame Goop, with a cape! So here is Gwyneth in Tom Ford – this is from the same line of beautifully-made cream-white designs that Lindsay Lohan has been wearing, y'all. Gwyneth wasn't nominated – she was only there to present (with Robert Downey Jr.) and to party. She didn't change clothes for the Vanity Fair party, she merely lost the cape. Also – she went on stage to present without the cape too. And I really disliked her bit with RDJ – it was cheesy. I get that they're friends, but their "banter" needed more work. As for the wisdom of wearing an actual cape… I don't know. My first reaction upon seeing her on the red carpet was that Goop looked like a vestal virgin, a high priestess of some sort. I ended up liking the structure of the "cape" – it seemed more like a smartly-draped coat, really. As for the dress – it was kind of meh. On Goop. The dress would have made a smart, minimalist wedding gown, truly. My biggest complaints about Goop were her hair and makeup. I'm trying to get a shot of the back of her hair, just so you can see the effect of that low ponytail – it really looks like she just pulled it back with a rubber band. Trashy!!! And while I'm happy that Goop finally got her roots done, she needs to lowlights or something so she won't look so washed out. And CB noted – "She still doesn't know how to do her makeup!" Her makeup really did look like hell last night – and Gwyneth PAYS people to do her makeup.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet. |
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