Crushable

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• Which Celebrity Without Eyebrows Looks Most Like an Alien?
• Video: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Jennifer Lawrence’s X-Men Makeup
• Dress Like Harry Potter. OFFICIALLY.
• Parting Tweet: Your Aunt Diane Is at Burning Man
• Gallery: 4 Cheaper David/Goliath Pairs If The Rock/Taylor Lautner Casting Doesn’t Work Out
• Captain Obvious Reporting for Duty: NASA Says Thriller Apollo 18 Isn’t a Documentary
• Video: Let’s Make Don Dizzle a Star!
• Here Is a Photo of Jared Leto Peeing
• Video: Every Time Someone Says ‘Baby’ or ‘Crazy’ in a Britney Spears Song
• We Use WebMD to Diagnose Audrina Patridge’s ‘Chest Problem’ (Spoiler: It’s Breast Implants)

Which Celebrity Without Eyebrows Looks Most Like an Alien? Posted: 03 Sep 2011 10:20 AM PDT Did you know that there’s a blog devoted to taking pictures of celebrities and Photoshopping their eyebrows off? Because there is. It’s called Celebrities Without Eyebrows. And you should go there, and gawk, and then run and hide because pictures of people without their eyebrows are the SCARIEST. THINGS. EVER. Okay, some of them aren’t so scary. Some of them actually don’t look much different without their eyebrows than they do with them; maybe this is because they already thin brows, or because they happen to have prominent brow bones. But you know what happens to a lot of them? They end up looking like aliens. Seriously. I’m not sure whether they come in peace or whether they come to harvest our planet, but they definitely appear to be extraterrestrial in origin. After paging through the database of possible alien suspects, I’ve come up with four that I’d like your opinion on. Which of these four celebs do you think is most likely to be an alien? Come on. Help me out. For science. Anna Paquin It’s possible that this is just an unflattering photo, but Sookie looks… not quite right here. Like she’s trying to blend in, but can’t quite figure out what “blending in” actually means. She also seems to have mastered the art of the Death Stare. Lenny Kravitz Maybe it’s just the lack of sunglasses. I’m not sure. Alien? Yea or nay? Liv Tyler We already know she’s an elf; but maybe she’s E.T. as well. She certainly looks like she knows something we don’t know… and that something probably isn’t a GOOD something. Russell Brand Enough said. So, readers: Having examined the evidence, which so-called “celebrity” do you think might actually be an alien in disguise? Related posts: Post from: Crushable

Video: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Jennifer Lawrence’s X-Men Makeup Posted: 03 Sep 2011 08:50 AM PDT There is one thing I remember vividly from the early days of X-Men movies. It was a sound byte from John Stamos, who was at the time married to Rebecca Romijn, and it was with regard to Rebecca’s crazy blue Mystique makeup. I’m paraphrasing a bit here– it’s been years since I read that article and I’m not even entirely sure where I found it anymore– but the quote went a little something like this: “You have NO IDEA the places where I keep finding blue makeup on her after she comes home from work.” That quote alone was enough to make me never want to play a character in any kind of film, television, or theatrical pursuit that required heavy makeup or prosthetics EVER IN MY LIFE. Funny, then, that ten years later, another sound byte involving a totally different actress, but still involving the same character would drive that point home as if it had never been made before. Want to see what Jennifer Lawrence had to go through in the makeup chair in order to become Mystique in this summer’s X-Men: First Class? Check this out: In a lot of ways, this is actually pretty neat: They modeled Jennifer’s Mystique look as closely as they could after Rebecca’s, so it’s nice to know that even though they didn’t have the same makeup team from the 2000 X-Men movie, they still made a huge effort to keep the continuity intact. But you know what you have to do when you’re redesigning makeup like Mystique’s? You have to test it. You always have to test makeup effects, but when you’re trying to match something someone else did ten years ago, you REALLY have to test it. You need to find exactly the right shade of blue. Oh, and also? It took seven hours to apply the makeup each time. SEVEN. HOURS. EACH. TIME. At least Jennifer had a positive outlook on the proceedings: “It’s like a sleepover,” she said about the long hours of makeup hell. “Except I’m naked and being painted.” Right. EXACTLY like a sleepover. [Via The Daily What Geek] Related posts: Post from: Crushable

Dress Like Harry Potter. OFFICIALLY. Posted: 03 Sep 2011 07:15 AM PDT Nerd confession: When I was in high school, my family inexplicably started getting Museum Replicas Limited catalogs sent to our house. I’m not really sure how or why this happened, but the bottom line is that several times a year, a magical book full of shiny swords and period costumes would appear in our mailbox. Did I read each and every one cover to cover? Of course I did. (What kind of self-respecting nerd would I have been if I hadn’t?) Anyway, eventually Museum Replicas Ltd. started carrying officially licensed products, which meant that uber-nerds could now dress like their favorite Lord of the Rings, 300, and Braveheart characters– OFFICIALLY. With OFFICIAL gear designed from OFFICIAL sources. And this was exciting. Not that I ever bought any of the pieces– cheap, they ain’t– but I enjoyed the fact that if I wanted to, I COULD. And hey, guess what? Now you can dress OFFICIALLY like Harry Potter! Or like Hermione! Or Dumbledore! Or a like whole variety of your favorite characters! Because Museum Replicas Ltd. now carries officially licensed Harry Potter costumes. Now, I know that cheap Halloween costume versions have been available for eons, but trust me: You ain’t seen nothing yet. These pieces are all extremely high quality, so just in case you ever wanted to run around in a Hogwarts uniform, now you can, with no fear of it unraveling if you accidentally snag it on a bush. Because I don’t think there’s a spell for that. [Via Museum Replicas Limited] Related posts: Post from: Crushable

Parting Tweet: Your Aunt Diane Is at Burning Man Posted: 02 Sep 2011 03:30 PM PDT My very favorite Twitter account, New Mexico jewelry maker Your Aunt Diane, is currently transmitting from the Nevada desert where she’s spending the week amongst dreadlocked fire breathers and winged glitter faeries. That’s right, she’s at Burning Man! Aren’t you glad you aren’t there with her? I assume Aunt Diane bartered some of her fine turquoise wares for that peyote. Always completely under a body! That is a revelation in skin care protection. So: no burning woman then, Aunt Diane? Post from: Crushable

Gallery: 4 Cheaper David/Goliath Pairs If The Rock/Taylor Lautner Casting Doesn’t Work Out Posted: 02 Sep 2011 03:22 PM PDT Relativity Media is courting Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Taylor Lautner to star in the big-screen retelling of the most badass Biblical tale, the fight between puny (but divinely blessed) shepherd David and the monstrous Goliath. The problem is, both actors’ acting prices are pretty steep, at $10 million or more. We’ve done some legwork and come up with four other little-guy-giant-villain combos that Relativity can look to if The Rock and Taylor end up costing too much. Related posts: Post from: Crushable

Captain Obvious Reporting for Duty: NASA Says Thriller Apollo 18 Isn’t a Documentary Posted: 02 Sep 2011 02:57 PM PDT Since the first trailer for Apollo 18 came out, my friends and I have been referring to it as “Paranormal Activity in space.” Meaning, we get that this horror movie is based on “found footage” from a lost space mission, insanity, aliens, blah blah. Apparently NASA didn’t get the memo. Bert Ulrich, the organization’s liaison with the film industry, felt it was necessary to do an interview with the L.A. Times to clear up any confusion related to the thriller’s veracity: “Apollo 18 is not a documentary. The film is a work of fiction, and we always knew that. We were minimally involved with this picture. We never even saw a rough cut. …The idea of portraying the Apollo 18 mission as authentic is simply a marketing ploy. Perhaps a bit of a Blair Witch Project strategy to generate hype.” Ya think?! OK, for a second when I first saw the trailer in theaters, I got excited at the prospect of a real-life story of space insanity or whatnot. Then I realized that if something like that happened, we’d already know about it thanks to Wikileaks. Really, guys. Anyway, with the space program shuttered for now, don’t you think NASA would appreciate any attention and interest in astronauts and manned missions? But the moon landing in 1969 was still to find the Autobots, right? Related posts: Post from: Crushable

Video: Let’s Make Don Dizzle a Star! Posted: 02 Sep 2011 02:32 PM PDT Someone sent me this video today. It’s been up on YouTube for over a year and it has under 300 views. But it’s wonderful and I need you guys to help propel chef/rapper/cereal enthusiast Don Dizzle to stardom. I’m thinking he’s the next Rebecca Black. Right? Just watch this video and tell me you don’t love it. Tell me “Onions, cheese, sauce, steaks” isn’t going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Don Dizzle for meme of the week! You heard it here first. Post from: Crushable

Here Is a Photo of Jared Leto Peeing Posted: 02 Sep 2011 02:16 PM PDT Sorry. But wait! As it turns out, it’s a photo of Jared Leto peeing in the bathroom of the Chateau Marmont.* So now I see that it’s an important cultural document, taken, of course, by none other than Terry Richardson. Here’s what’s confusing to me about this. Jared has been wearing these knee-length frocks recently (see: the VMAs), and they definitely cover the area of the organ Jared ostensibly uses to pee. So how is he relieving himself here? Is there a special penis flap in his designer man-dress? Or perhaps during one of his 30-second trips to Mars, Jared learned how to crystalize his urine and release it through other parts of his body. Sorry again. *I threw up in that very place once. Sorry I’m wasting that life you worked very hard to give me, Mom and Dad. (via Terry’s Diary) Post from: Crushable

Video: Every Time Someone Says ‘Baby’ or ‘Crazy’ in a Britney Spears Song Posted: 02 Sep 2011 02:12 PM PDT My changing reactions while listening to this supercut of every instance of “baby” and “crazy” in Britney Spears‘ songs (in chronological order, no less): 1) I’ve got a joke all ready — “This should be Britney’s next song, since it’s catchier than anything she’s released lately.” Zing! 2) OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS MY EARS 3) twitching 4) Oh, it’s over, thank God. 5) It’s still on? Wait, I don’t even know these weird slow songs. 6) TLC, is that you? 7) I feel like when you read the same word over and over and it becomes completely alien — if you asked me what a baby was now, I couldn’t tell you. 8) Celine Dion, is that you? 9) It’s actually over this time. Never again. Enjoy! [via] Related posts: Post from: Crushable

We Use WebMD to Diagnose Audrina Patridge’s ‘Chest Problem’ (Spoiler: It’s Breast Implants) Posted: 02 Sep 2011 01:35 PM PDT The Hills star Audrina Patridge is still denying that she’s gotten breast implants, using the really unconvincing argument that she suffers from a medical condition that makes her breasts different sizes. In her own words: “Well, see I have this chest problem. My bone right here, it's higher on this side? It's pectoralis something, so I've always struggled with that. You could see they look different sizes all the time.” Hard to interpret, right? We’re not convinced for a second, but let’s have some fun and try to figure out what medical condition Audrina could be alluding to. First, let’s go by the wording — “pectoralis something”: Pectoralis Major Muscle Rupture: This can often cause a dimpling, or pocket, to form above your armpit where the tear occurred — so yes, for women that would be the breast area. But Audrina didn’t mention pain or weakness, which are the primary symptoms. Also, while this can be chronic, it’s the kind of issue you’d treat immediately, which doesn’t explain why her breasts still look “off.” Poland Syndrome: While a major symptom of this is having no pectoralis minor muscle, sufferers also have short, webbed fingers on the same side of the lopsided breast. The symptom — her breasts being different sizes — seems to point to other possible issues: Breast Cancer: The majority of search results came out as cancer, and we know that’s not the case at all. Scoliosis: This came from a less reputable source (health message boards) but matched up with the image of an uneven chest thanks to spine curvature. Nice try, Audrina, but you couldn’t fool us with medical jargon. Our diagnosis? Bullshit, and implants. Related posts: Post from: Crushable

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