Cele|bitchy

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• “Pippa Middleton’s blouse seems very fussy” links
• Michael Fassbender is finally here to soothe our savage biscuits
• Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt went on shopping sprees for clothes & ponies
• Linnocent tried to drunkenly crack-hustle Ryan Seacrest for a reality show
• Madonna in Venice, jacked in Vionnet: lovely or cheap-looking?

“Pippa Middleton’s blouse seems very fussy” links Posted: 02 Sep 2011 11:33 AM PDT I can't decide if I love or hate Pippa Middleton's blouse. [Pop Sugar] Photos of Michael Fassbender that we don't have. *sob* [LaineyGossip] This cow is seriously clever. [Dlisted] Steven Seagal killed a puppy. Monster. [Yeeeah] Magician arrested for hypnotizing 75 schoolkids. [Gawker] I don't think George Clooney is overly-bronzed. He just looks tan. [Go Fug Yourself] Bedhead's review of Apollo 18 - contains spoilers. [Pajiba] Here's the video for that Shia LaBeouf-Marilyn Manson brainchild. [The Blemish] I can see Megan Fox's lip injections from here. [Evil Beet] Lady Gaga goes nude, blah. [Celebuzz] I mostly like Sofia Vergara's jeans. [I'm Not Obsessed] New photos of Angelina and her girls. [A Socialite Life] Jennifer Garner flashes her thong. Again. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?] Tyra Banks isn't fat, she's "expanding the definition of beauty." [Celebslam] A kitty named Haggis dances & sings to Britney Spears. [OMG Blog] Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wants to be called Ben, after Ben 10. [LimeLife] Blake Likely films Gossip Girl, looks meh. [Moe Jackson]

Michael Fassbender is finally here to soothe our savage biscuits Posted: 02 Sep 2011 11:23 AM PDT Dear God, FINALLY. My prayers, they were answered. We finally got some nice photos of Michael Fassbender at the Venice Film Festival photo call for A Dangerous Method. We already covered some of the early photos here - but this post is going to be ALL FASSIE. And some Viggo and Vincent, because I'm feeling generous (but mostly because I'm suffused in Fass-lust). By the way, early reviews are saying that the movie is really good. Does it even matter, though? I mean, I'm glad Fassbender made a good movie, but I would see it regardless just because of the key words "Fassbender" and "spanking". So, do you like the way my lover looks here? I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't hot for him always, however he was styled. I think the shaved head is an improvement from the bleach-blonde look that he had for several months while he was working in London. You can see a hint of ginger here, as you should. I'm also obsessed with his arms. Michael is BUILT - he may look like a stringy, skinny boy, but he's muscular and he's just…*falls out of chair in a lustful reverie* Fassie was also talking about how he prepared for his role as Carl Jung. While Viggo Mortensen and Keira Knightley made it sound like they did mountains of research, Fassie admitted, "I found all I needed to find in just one source: a book called Jung for Children. It was like a sort of ‘idiot’s guide,’ to Jung." There's video of the cast arrival too. STOP PUTTING THE CAMERA ON KEIRA. One, she doesn't like it. Two, there's a perfectly good Fassdong right there, just waiting to be photographed. UPDATE: Okay, I’m just adding more photos, including close-ups of his gorgeous face, and full-length photos so you can see his awesome jeans and flip-flops (OMG, I WEAR FLIP-FLOPS TOO!). Oh, and I love his little dance on the carpet. He’s so beautiful. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt went on shopping sprees for clothes & ponies Posted: 02 Sep 2011 10:11 AM PDT Yesterday, Angelina went out for yet another girls' day with Shiloh and Zahara. Those two Jolie-Pitt kids get a lot of mom time, don't they? Anyway, Shi, Z and Angelina went shopping at French Connection. The Mail has a detailed story on all of the stuff Angelina bought for herself and for the girls - all total, Angelina spent more than $2000… In just 15 minutes. Is that scandalous? You can spend $2000 in less than five minutes on just two pairs of shoes. If you'd like to see photos of some of Angelina's purchases, go here. Basically, she bought a few sacks for herself. No joke. She has the world’s designers at her fingertips, and frequently wears couture gowns costing tens of thousands of pounds. But when Angelina Jolie wants to update her autumn/winter wardrobe, where does she head? To the good old British high street, of course. Back in London after short trips to Glasgow and The Netherlands, Angelina spent the afternoon shopping on west London’s King’s Road, where she paid a visit to the French Connection store. Accompanied by a bodyguard and personal assistant and with daughters Zahara, six, and five-year-old Shiloh in tow, Angelina browsed the racks for a quarter of an hour, picking up a number of pieces from the new season collection as well as bags full of children’s clothes totalling £1,300. An excited customer reported that Angelina, dressed in cropped black trousers, black cardigan and oversized sunglasses made short work of flipping through the rails. In record quick time Angelina picked out a mustard camisole, white three-quarter sleeve top and a black midi skirt from French Connection’s Classics collection, as well as two pendant necklaces and dozens of pieces for the children. Zahara was keen on lots of the pieces in the store, but eventually settled on a fur jacket. ‘She was really friendly and humble,’ the customer said of the Hollywood star. ‘She signed an autograph for some young girls in the shop, and wouldn’t let any of the staff help her to the car with her bags, joking that she “had people to do that” for her.’ ‘She seemed happy to talk to people and sign autographs for them. I was in the store at the same time and couldn’t believe it when I saw she’d managed to spend £1,300 in such a short time. Still, she earns such a lot of money, so why not?’ [From The Mail] Seriously, if I had her money, I could easily blow $50,000 in 15 minutes. Just let me loose in a pricey handbag store. But mommy-daughter shopping sprees are nice. You know PETA is going to take issue with Empress Z's fur coat though. Maybe it was faux fur? Meanwhile, The Sun has a funny story about a recent shopping spree of Brad Pitt's - according to their sources, Brad "secretly" purchased a Shetland pony for each of his kids, and the ponies are now at the Chateau Miraval. MOST kids get a My Little Pony toy to play with - but Brad Pitt’s brood get the real thing. The actor surprised his family with SIX Shetland ponies - one for each nipper - and a horse for partner Angelina Jolie. He bought them in secret and they’re now grazing in a paddock on the couple’s Chateau Miraval estate in the south of France. Brad and Angelina can already ride but they want to be able to take children Vivienne, Knox, Shiloh, Zahara, Pax and Maddox pony-trekking. A source said: “Brad ummed and ahhed about it for a while but decided to go for it. He wasn’t sure whether they’d find the time as training the children will take a lot of manhours but thinks it will be worth it in the long run. He thinks it’s best for them to learn how to ride while they’re young.” It’s not like they haven’t got the space - their French gaff sits on acres of land. At least Brad has a waterpark in mind - he’s also had a posh new pool installed. The source added: “Their place is huge. They have loads of fields all around the property. Their driveway is three miles long and lined with impressive fountains. They’ve got a new pool with slides as well now.” The star family have a lot of outdoor fun to look forward to once Brad finishes shooting his new movie World War Z. He still has scenes to film in Scotland, Essex and Surrey yet, so it could quite easily be winter by the time they get back to France. [From The Sun] Wow, ponies and a new pool? Brad is the best dad ever! I can't see Maddox on a pony, though. But I could totally see Shiloh and Empress Z on ponies. You know that's where it started too - Shi and Z were all, "Daddy, seriously. PONY." Photos courtesy of Fame.

Linnocent tried to drunkenly crack-hustle Ryan Seacrest for a reality show Posted: 02 Sep 2011 07:51 AM PDT These are new photos of Linnocent, out and about yesterday. In the photos where she's wearing black, she's going in to take a drug test. In the photos where she's wearing pants, she's getting her hair done. Because every crackie needs a costume change to get her busted crack weave fixed. Once again, you can see her crack lips from space, and once again, she looks like she has scabies. Some of you have already mentioned this story, but I thought we'd talk about it since I got the chance to read the print edition of Star Magazine. Star claims that at Kim Karadashian's wedding, Linnocent was trying to convince Ryan Seacrest to give her a Kardashian-like show: Lindsay Lohan sure knows how to mix business with pleasure. In between downing shots at Kim Kardashian's Aug. 20 wedding, Lindsay followed Ryan Seacrest around like a puppy, begging him to create a show for her. "Lindsay was working just as hard as she was partying," a source tells Star. "She was pressing Ryan hard to dream up a reality show concept for her. Lindsay sees how Ryan turned Kim into an A-list star, and she wants him to do the same thing for her." While Ryan seemed amused by Lindsay's attempts at first, her pestering finally got to him. "Every time Lindsay walked away, he'd roll his eyes and giggle," the source adds. But don't expect Lindsay to give up any time soon. "Lindsay is desperate to get her career back on track," says the source. "And she thinks Ryan is her ticket to success." [From Star Magazine, print edition] Does anyone else feel like Linnocent is working the wrong angle with Ryan Seacrest? Like, you can't flirt your way into Ryan's good graces (unless you're Jake Gyllenhaal), and you can't crack-hustle a professional hustler like Ryan. Anyway, while I think Linnocent was probably on the crack hustle at the wedding, I doubt she seriously wants a "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"-style show. She's a famewhore who will do anything for cash, but I think even Linnocent knows somewhere in her crack brain that cameras following her around all day would not be a good idea. Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Madonna in Venice, jacked in Vionnet: lovely or cheap-looking? Posted: 02 Sep 2011 07:49 AM PDT For last night's red carpet premiere of W.E. at the Venice Film Festival, Madonna once again played with her sunglasses, taking them on and off for the photographers, as if she secretly knows that her face is crazy. Still, it was Madonna's night, and she was by far the most photographed woman on the red carpet, not her two female leads in the film, Abbie Cornish and Andrea Riseborough. Madge wore Vionnet, and I really, really dislike it. I'm sure the dress is probably silk, but when it's photographed, it looks like t-shirt material, like cotton jersey. I also dislike the red appliqué/print on top of grey - to me, it looks cheap. And there's this too: Yeah. Poor Madge. The rest of the fashion - Andrea wore an odd pale yellow Christian Dior, and Abbie wore Versace. I dislike their dresses too! I think Andrea is a very pretty/unusual-looking young actress - she's got that Meryl Streep quality, where she can either look completely gorgeous or completely plain. Abbie just looks… meh. She's so milquetoast to me. Can we talk about my lover James D'Arcy? I'm lusting after him while I wait for Michael Fassbender photos (TODAY, bitches!). But James is hot on his own too - and after going through all of the photos, I kind of think James and Andrea are hitting it. That's kind of hot. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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