The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly


The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.10.13

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 12:00 PM PDT

Welcome To Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where we take a brief pause from drinking bourbon out of a coffee thermos our daily lives to collectively hate people like Rob Kardashian. And not because he somehow gained forty pounds in a week, which is undoubtedly hilarious, but because he’s the failure of a family who Read More ...

Lindsay Lohan Blew Paul Schrader So Hard He Thinks She’s Marilyn Monroe Now

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 11:01 AM PDT

While Lindsay Lohan continues to ignore any and all of the wise, albeit obvious, advice given to her by the rehab she’s currently court-ordered to be in, director Paul Schrader just wrote a completely serious, non-ironic piece for the Film Society of Lincoln Center about how she’s exactly like Marilyn Monroe – in a good Read More ...

Kevin Jonas Knocked Up His Wife. Somehow.

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 10:00 AM PDT

Kevin Jonas finally tossed a beaker of semen close enough to his wife’s icky parts that she’s expecting a child, E! News reports with possibly different words than what I just said, but don’t quote me on that. Except that’s not fair because the guy did marry a woman and impregnated her, so I should Read More ...

The Paparazzi Wrote ‘I Love Rob’ On The Hood of Kristen Stewart’s Truck

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 09:01 AM PDT

Above is a video of Kristen Stewart walking out to her truck after the paparazzi decided to write “I Love Rob” on the hood. And normally I’m on the side of the paparazzi because without them we’d have no idea what Brandi Glanville‘s underwear looks like drunk, but this was a pretty dick move with Read More ...

Blake Lively’s Breasts! You Came Back!

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 08:14 AM PDT

It’s been over two months since Blake Lively‘s breasts have been on the site, and it was seven months before that, so fortunately she took me seriously about blowing up that orphanage because here she is at last night’s premiere of Turbo in New York. Which would be even more awesome if Ryan Reynolds hadn’t Read More ...

Justin Bieber Pissed Into A Restaurant’s Mop Bucket. That’s A Gift, Son.

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 07:23 AM PDT

Full Disclosure: I’ve drunkenly peed on more things than I can count and/or possibly remember, but at least I always had the decency to immediately hide my shame like a cat and leave it as a surprise for somebody else because my parents raised me right. Justin Bieber, on the other hand, will drizzle that Read More ...

Good Morning, Tiffany Taylor, And Other News

Posted: 10 Jul 2013 05:13 AM PDT

- Oh, so Selena Gomez is banging Justin Bieber to promote her new album. Now I get it. - If abortion is “baby Holocaust,” then Michelle Duggar‘s uterus is Hitler because it’s personally killed two. - Oh, good, the new mail order brides are in. Photo Boy, fetch me my ledger. Read More ...
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