Cele|bitchy |
- Linnocent’s Playboy photo shoot has to be redone because it was too crackie
- Kris Jenner tries to cry with her new face: people have an investment in our family
- Lourdes Leon, 15-yr-old in heels & skinny jeans: too grown up or just gorgeous?
- Fergie versus Ashley Greene: who looked better at the Avon event?
- Kim Kardashian says “intuition” led her to divorce, they didn’t get counseling
- Justin Bieber tweets unconvincing non-denial to paternity suit
- Linnocent’s 30-day sentence will likely last a matter of hours, not days
- Princess Charlene’s little black dress & sad-face: tragic or cute?
- Hugh Grant bought his baby-mama a $2 million house in London
- Should Beyonce stop wearing mega-heels now that she’s pregnant?
| Linnocent’s Playboy photo shoot has to be redone because it was too crackie Posted: 03 Nov 2011 08:58 AM PDT
As soon as Playboy gave Linnocent $50 and a pack of cigs, the Cracken dropped trou and started shooting ping-pong balls out of her scorched-earth biscuit. "Y'all got a camera? I'm giving you my best angle," she said. Yes, the very second that Playboy shelled out the money, Linnocent was already posing nude. But there's a problem! RESHOOTS. When I mentioned earlier today that LL was given a week's leniency to turn herself into jail, I thought that the "work" the Cracken had to do for Playboy was just "additional" photo shoots. Nope. As it turns out, the mangy crack head's first photo shoot was a Tran wreck, and Hugh Hefner demanded new photos. Oh, Crackie. How bad were those photos?!?
[From Radar] "The first pictures of Lindsay weren't exactly what they wanted so they have a new theme that they want to shoot… how do I put this nicely? She's covered in scabs, bruises and cigarette ash. She was hammered and high, and you can't even see her pupils. She looked like one, giant, cancerous freckle. So we're trying again with a cracked-out Marilyn theme, maybe this won't be so frightening." Meanwhile, a "source" has gone to E! News to claim once again that the Cracken won't be showing anything important (biscuit-related) in the shoot, but that the new photo shoot is going down today. Hef has apparently not decided on a theme thus far, but he did get LL a new photographer. We'll be seeing the crack catastrophe in the January issue. Sigh… Oh, and remember how Crackie was getting some-odd $400-500,000 for her modeling stint with Philipp Plein? Well, because of the most recent crackie court catastrophe, that contract could be "in jeopardy" according to Fox News. It's because the judge said Linnocent can't leave the country while she's doing this latest round of probation. But Linnocent is still trying to find a way to crack hustle her way to Europe for some reason:
[From Fox News] Well, that's good that Plein is all "I hired her exactly because she's a crack monster." At least we're not hearing crap about "Oh, the Cracken does nothing for our precious brand, she must be fired!" If she's getting fired for anything, it's because she's not taking her Traveling Beej Tour to Europe for a while.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Kris Jenner tries to cry with her new face: people have an investment in our family Posted: 03 Nov 2011 08:38 AM PDT
Kris Jenner was on The View today to promote her new book. (The one where she claims she could have saved Nicole Brown Simpson’s life if she’d come over when Nicole asked her to, only she didn’t, Nicole got stabbed to death, and her ex husband went on to help OJ escape charges for the murders.) Kris probably had this whole promotional tour scheduled well before she had to do pitiful lying damage control for her daughter’s failed marriage. Yesterday we heard Kris on The Today Show trying to insist that no one made any money off of Kim’s ridiculously lavish highly publicized wedding. Today she was on The View talking about Kim’s divorce, and how she was trying to be there for Kim as a mother. At one point she started crying, and it really amused me. I know I sound evil here, I just don’t care. As someone wrote on ONTD, these people are totally shameless and they deserve to be called out for it. Here are some of Kris’ quotes. Kim is “brave” for calling off her marriage after less than three months instead of sticking it out and trying to make it work.
She was crying because she’s upset at all the fallout they’re getting, not because she particularly cares about the state of her daughter’s marriage. This is the woman who insisted that her daughter not change her name when she got married because it would hurt their brand. Now their brand is in the sh*tter and mom Kris can’t stand it. Barbara asked Kris is she ever considered whether their family should never have had a reality show in the first place. Of course she didn’t. She said “We feel so happy and satisfied with our show… We wear it all. We’re an open book… For the fans and the viewers that have followed us from day one, they have this investment in our family.” The key word is “investment.” A lot of people are going to pull their “investments” from the bank of Kardashian soon. Kris Jenner on The View part 1. She tries to cry at 2:45 and it’s so fake. Kris Jenner on The View part 2. She again insists that they didn’t make any money off the wedding.
These photos are from 10/4/11 and 9/8/11. Credit: WENN.com |
| Lourdes Leon, 15-yr-old in heels & skinny jeans: too grown up or just gorgeous? Posted: 03 Nov 2011 08:22 AM PDT
Do you ever think that Madonna sometimes looks at Lourdes and a cold, deep shiver of fear runs through her gristle? I do. Madonna is still trying to be "IT". And her daughter has IT naturally, through her combined genes of Madge and Carlos Leon. Those genes combined and made a very cool, beautiful and self-possessed young woman of 15 years who radiates something very special. And I bet Madge is full of jealousy just looking her daughter. Anyway, these are photos of Lola and Kelly Osbourne doing a press conference and casting call for the "Material Girl Model Search." I guess they're looking for the new "face" of the Material Girl brand, which Kelly currently represents. I know I'm not the first to ask this, but considering the brand is for tweens and teens, why isn't Lola the "face" of it? Does Madge not want her "out there" that much? But no matter. On with the search! According to The Mail, "Three winners will be picked to be the brands ‘lucky stars’ and will be paid just £,3123 (US$5,000). The winners and one guest will be flown to New York to participate in a two-day photo shoot. The images will be used for the Material Girl Spring 2012 advertising campaign and future advertising. As well as having their face plastered on publicity material, the winners will meet Madonna herself." Lola and Kelly are responsible for whittling down the thousands of girls who applied into 36 finalists who will be voted on by the public. By the way, you know how much I loathe skinny jeans in general? Well, I don't hate them on Lola. If you're going to wear skinny jeans, I really think you have to be a coltish teenager to pull them off.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Fergie versus Ashley Greene: who looked better at the Avon event? Posted: 03 Nov 2011 07:56 AM PDT
Here are some photos from last night's Avon Foundation Awards Gala. I'm only featuring Fergie and Ashley Greene, because those are the only two ladies at the event I really bothered to care about. First up: Fergie, in this pale pink dress with a sparkly jacket. The outfit is kind of meh - the pink washes her out, but it's a pretty dress on its own. The jacket is cute too, but not with the dress. Do I have to again bitch about designers not making enough long-sleeved dresses these days?
But really, let's talk about everything from the neck up on Fergie. We've discussed her alleged plastic surgery, which is ALLEGEDLY in the hundreds of thousands of dollars at this point. I'm think she's gotten a little more done recently, because she's looking freshly tweaked to me. But does she look better than she used to? That's always difficult for me to talk about with Fergie, because she is spending a lot of money to transform herself into a pretty standard-issue-looking blonde Hollywood girl. She has such a great voice, and I wish she didn't feel the need to give herself such an extreme makeover.
Next up: Ashley Greene in Donna Karan. Bitch thinks she's Dita Von Teese, and she's really not. I think the dress looks really cheap on her, and her hair is just wrong. You have to actually BE Dita to make this look work. On Ashley, it falls flat.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Kim Kardashian says “intuition” led her to divorce, they didn’t get counseling Posted: 03 Nov 2011 07:22 AM PDT
On an Australian morning talkshow, “Sunrise,” Kim was asked directly “How hard did you work to keep it together, and did you go to marriage counseling? Did you really try?” Kim looked defeated when she opened her puffed up lips to answer “I think when you know so deep in your heart that you just have to listen to your intution and follow your heart there’s no right or wrong thing to do… I think what really… upsets me most is that there has been from the start so many rumors of money and dollar signs … and so much of it not being true.” Who is she kidding? Her whole life is about dollar signs and that’s what her wedding was about. She’s a ridiculous cartoon parody of a person. “Intuition” led her to scrap her marriage after she staged one of the hugest, showiest, phoniest weddings in history. As for how much things cost, we know for a fact that the items on her verified gift registry totaled over $175,000 and that her wedding was probably in the $20 million range. (Kim is donating the gifts to charity, but you know she had to do that for image purposes.) I don’t believe her marriage was necessarily a planned scam. I just think she’s so superficial and narcissistic that she would suck someone into her orbit, milk the relationship for publicity and cash and then throw out that person the minute they were no longer useful to her or required even a small sacrifice on her part. TMZ reports that Kim and Kris were arguing bitterly during prenup negotiations, specifically over how much of a cut Kris would get from the wedding. They report that his take of the profits was “limited.” As we heard yesterday, momma Kris tried to unconvincingly deny that they made money off that wedding. That’s the only thing it was about and that’s the only thing that fuels this family and their stagemom on steroids. Meanwhile E! continues to air the wedding, probably because the ratings are through the roof. They put out a statement denying that the whole thing was fake. The President of E! said that “I don’t even know if Kim has had a chance to emotionally process this the way that she needs to… I don’t have any indication that this is going to change her career path.” I’m hoping that this does “change her career path” and that she’ll command much less interest. There should be a huge backlash for this. Kim scrapped plans to attend a horse racing event in Australia for one hour in exchange for a $153,000 appearance fee. She was going to make that for one hour. Instead, she flew back to LA early to deal with the fallout from her divorce. She also might have been anxious to get back with Reggie Bush. We’ve heard that Kim is still in love with him. Rumor has it that they had lunch in New York over the weekend, but Reggie denied that saying “I haven't seen her in over a year and a half. And I don't have any plans to.” He also made it clear that he wasn’t in NY with his team until 5 pm on the day in question. “Anybody who can do the math knows I wasn't at no damn lunch." Sounds like he learned his lesson. Kim is shown sitting down at a meet and green in Australia earlier today (they’re 15 hours ahead of EST). Khloe and Lamar were there too. Can you believe that they lasted this long? Kim looks like a blowup doll. Credit: WENN and Pacific Coast News.
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| Justin Bieber tweets unconvincing non-denial to paternity suit Posted: 03 Nov 2011 07:21 AM PDT
Given Justin’s response to this story, I’m beginning to believe it could be true, though. His people were outspoken in their denial, but Justin tweeted some ridiculous excuse about focusing on his music instead of the rumors.
[From Bieber's Twitter] That’s not really a denial, is it? Meanwhile his managers wouldn’t tell Radar whether Bieber is willing to get a DNA test to establish the baby’s paternity. As many of you have predicted, Bieber’s fans are attacking the woman on Twitter, just as they attacked Selena Gomez when she first started dating Biebs. If he turns out to be this baby’s father it might be a wakeup call for some of them. This is Justin Bieber’s wax figure at the “Madrid Wax Museum.” Isn’t it so bad? They made him look too much like a boy.
Photo credit: WENN and Fame |
| Linnocent’s 30-day sentence will likely last a matter of hours, not days Posted: 03 Nov 2011 07:21 AM PDT
Yesterday, just SECONDS after the judge muttered something about Linnocent having to spend 30 days in jail FOR SERIOUS, TMZ got a hold of their Sheriff's Department source who mentioned in passing that because of overcrowding, Linnocent would probably end up only doing 5 or 6 days of that 30-day sentence. It sucked. But you know what sucks even harder? The news that even 6 days in jail is a total pipe dream. Later on Wednesday, TMZ's sources told them that Linnocent would probably only be held for a matter of MINUTES. Ugh.
[From TMZ] Soon after TMZ reported that, the Sheriff's Dept. spokesperson Steve Whitmore went on the record with TMZ and said that LL would probably end up spending ONE NIGHT in jail, but that we shouldn't think that she's getting special treatment. Honestly, she's not getting special treatment. This is how California treats most "non-violent" offenders. Anyway, Whitmore said that depending on what day (and what time of day) Linnocent checks in, it could be a matter of hours or perhaps even overnight. Oh, and why did Linnocent get a week's leniency to turn herself in to jail? It's because she still needs to take more frecky, fire-crotchy Playboy photos. Because one million dollars will buy you a lot of crack (for real). Apparently, that's why the sentencing hearing started late - Shawn Holley was in the judge's chambers, telling the judge that Linnocent needed to "work" this week. As far as Linnocent's perspective on this whole new crackie ordeal, TMZ's sources (Mother Cracken) says that Linnocent believes Judge Sautner's sentence is "very fair" and that the judge is "nice". Also, Linnocent is promising that she'll totally work super-hard to meet all of her requirements. Here's an honest to God question, though: if Linnocent had just opted for the 300-day sentence, how long would she have had to spend in jail? It would probably just be a matter of days, maybe a week or two, right? So why didn't she just go for that? Dumb crackie can't think straight. Last thing: regardless of the boobs which are sagging to her waist, you know what I think was going on in Linnocent's mind yesterday? "I'm so Marilyn in this ensemble! Screw Michelle Williams, this is exactly how Marilyn would have looked if she was a crackhead being dragged into court for the millionth time."
Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame. |
| Princess Charlene’s little black dress & sad-face: tragic or cute? Posted: 03 Nov 2011 07:20 AM PDT
Princess Charlene always looks so pained, doesn't she? She always looks like she's about to cry, like her drugs are wearing off, like she's nauseous at the thought of her husband being close to her. She has a very emotive face - she's like Princess Diana in that way. Diana could wear a pained, sad expression better than any princess. Charlene is following in Diana's footsteps rather than Princess Grace's. Anyway, these are new photos of Princess Charlene and Prince Albert in Toronto last night. They were in NYC for a few days, where they did lunch with donors, then a big gala event for the Princess Grace Foundation, and they also did an interview with Matt Lauer. We had different ideas about the interview - I thought Charlene still seemed like she might want to escape, but that she and Albert had made a deal for her to stick around for a bit. Some of you disagreed, and claimed that Charlene is just fine and I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. We'll agree to disagree. Anyway, Char and Al were in Toronto to open a Princess Grace exhibit "Grace Kelly" From Movie Star to Princess" - it contains lots of photos and letters and Grace paraphernalia. I can't find the ID on Charlene's dress. My bad! I don't like it very much - I don't think black suits her. She looks so much prettier in bright shades, jewel tones, even the occasional pastel. Also: I hate ruffled sleeves. I dislike ruffle details in general, but especially on sleeves.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Hugh Grant bought his baby-mama a $2 million house in London Posted: 03 Nov 2011 06:49 AM PDT
Everybody is pretty much convinced that Hugh Grant's baby-mama is Tinglan Hong, a woman he briefly dated earlier this year. Hugh's rep only confirmed that Hugh was now a father, and that the affair was "fleeting" - but not the identity of the baby-mama. Once again, the rep said: "I can confirm that Hugh Grant is the delighted father of a baby girl. He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier or more supportive. He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms." Translation: Hugh boned a girl that he was dating (not-exclusively) and she got pregnant and he was pissed about at first but now he just wants everybody to know he's a good guy, and he's still single and ready to mingle. So, Tinglan Hong. She's 32 years old, and a Chinese national who lives in London. The baby was allegedly born five weeks ago in London by C-section, and The Mail reports that Hugh was NOT there for the birth, but that he "is said to have spent around half an hour with her the following day before heading to Scotland to play in a golf tournament." The golf tournament lasted four days, and Hugh was there all four days - and it was the same Scottish tournament where Liz Hurley and Shane Warne got engaged - suspicious, right? Hugh comes in and says "I'm a father! Wow." And Liz is all, "Well, Shane and I are engaged, damn it. TELL HIM SHANE." The Mail also reports that Hugh and Tinglan began dating in January, and the relationship "petered out soon after she fell pregnant." I'll bet. Apparently, Hugh has also purchased a fancy new apartment for her and the baby too. Here's more:
[From The Mail] So, basically, Tinglan was looking for a rich guy and she found one and she got knocked up in hurry, but we shouldn't feel like Hugh got "trapped" or anything because he's kind of sad and he just wants a lady around him who will stroke his ego and tell him how brilliant he is. Sigh… Hugh's kind of d-bag, right? And Tinglan doesn't sound like a prize either. Team Baby.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Should Beyonce stop wearing mega-heels now that she’s pregnant? Posted: 03 Nov 2011 05:46 AM PDT
I've been sitting on these photos for a few days, just because I really do get tired of questioning the state of Beyonce's (deflated) bump. It really does go up and down in size each day, each week, and I'm tired of defending my eyesight and simple logic: bitch is padding her bump, but only sometimes. Just last weekend, Bey dressed up as a "Bump"-le bee, with a comically oversized bee costume, I guess taking into account her fake bump - you can see photos here. Anyway, people are going crazy over Bey's outfit in these pics. The skinny jeans (while pregnant?) are kind of cheap-looking, in my opinion, but the rest of the outfit is interesting. The scarf is Alexander McQueen, the coat is… God knows, but the boots! The boots are Alain Quilici. Here's a close-up:
Us Weekly ID'd the boots as Alain Quilici’s Payson Skate Lace-Up Booties, which retail for $1,180. According to Us Weekly, "The most unique attribute of the ankle-high boot shoes: the heel and toe are bridged by a one-inch platform, thus creating the look of an ice skate." Babble, meanwhile, is asking if Bey should give up the heels now that she's so "pregnant" - a subject which I don't have an opinion on. From what I see, many pregnant women stop wearing heels because their bodies are changing, they're clumsier and more likely to fall. But some ladies work the heels throughout their pregnancies with little to no problems. Meh. Sidenote: Glee's Heather Morris has an interview in the new issue of Cosmo, and she talks about her first big break as a backup dancer for Beyonce. Heather said: "Beyoncé was just always full-out. She's like a beast. So you learn that no matter how you feel, just do it. Just like Nike: 'Just Do It.'" Everybody always says that about Bey. It's funny.
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News. |
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