Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy


Mark Wahlberg says he totally would have killed all of the terrorists on 9/11

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 10:03 AM PST

I try to like Mark Wahlberg, but it's sometimes difficult. Like, I think he's a much better actor than he's often given credit for. He's one of the rare "butch" male action stars capable of showing real emotion, depth and vulnerability on screen. I think of him like Bruce Willis – they get stuck in the "action" genre, but both are underrated dramatic actors. However, there's an issue with Mark's personality. He's a successful producer, and his production company has a stable of successful television shows, which means that he's always at awards shows, representing his shows. And Awards Show Mark is kind of douche. He makes it all about himself, and his attitude borders on disrespectful.

So, I already had mixed feelings… and now this. Mark covers the new issue of Men's Journal, and this is a humdinger of douchebaggery, in convenient interview form. Brace yourself.

What he would have done if he had been on one of the airplanes that was hijacked on 9/11: “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” Wahlberg says. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

He lets his wife pick date night movies: “As long as it isn't a Sarah Jessica Parker movie… The last time I really cried a lot? During ‘The Help.’ I cried about six or seven times. It was the wife's choice, but it was a great movie.”

On jerking off: "I don't get down with jerking off, dude. Look. I don't believe in everything that the church says. I try to do the right thing. I lead a clean and pure life. I'm a married guy. I have a beautiful wife. Sex is not the most important thing to me, being horny all the time, spanking the — I mean, it's not against the law. You can do whatever you want. And it's not like, 'I shouldn't do it because of my faith.' I'm just not really that into it that much anyway."

[Via MSNBC and HuffPo]

Obviously, it's the 9/11 quote that bugs. That's what I'm talking about with his disrespectful attitude, like he's a big action star and he obviously knows best. We don't know what it was like for those poor people on the airplanes on 9/11, but to publicly play a game of "If I was there…" is crass and tasteless.

As for the jerking off stuff – do you even believe him about that? I don't. But then again, I think he's screwing around on his wife. A lot.

UPDATE: CB just reminded me that Mark was originally scheduled to be on one of the hijacked flights on 9/11, but he changed his tickets last minute. That really doesn’t change my opinion that his statement in this interview is douchey, though. He’s basically saying that all of the people on those flights (even the ones on the United flight that went down in Pennsylvania) were pussies, and that he’s the only badass left in the world.

Photos courtesy of Men's Journal, WENN.
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People Mag: Johnny Depp & Vanessa’s relationship is “all but officially finished”

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 09:37 AM PST

Holy hell! People Magazine is calling out Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis ON THE COVER. After weeks and weeks of speculation in the trashier tabloids, People Mag has decided to make the chatter legit by officially speculating on the state of Johnny and Vanessa's 14-year-relationship. As I said, Radar, Star Mag and the Enquirer have been on this story for weeks, claiming that Johnny has been boozing it up and his drinking and "mid-life crisis" have driven him and Vanessa apart. Radar claimed that Johnny was consulting with lawyers to explore his options (for his money and custody of the kids, I guess). Then, last week, we were one of the first sites to use an Enquirer story which claimed that Johnny and Eva Green had gotten too close while filming Dark Shadows. Now People Mag is getting in the mix:

Once upon a time, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis lived a quiet family life far from the spotlight in the sleepy French hamlet of Plan-de-la-Tour.

But that time is no more, and now the couple largely reside in L.A. – when they are in the same city at all.

Depp, 48, and Paradis, 39, who are parents to Lily-Rose, 12, and Jack, 9, have not appeared side-by-side on a red carpet for more than a year. Multiple sources tell PEOPLE in this week’s cover story that the relationship is all but officially finished.

In fact, some in their circle say the couple of nearly 14 years have already split. Says one insider: “It’s so sad.”

For much more on this story, including details on Depp’s solo nights out, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

[From People]

As I've said from the beginning, I'll totally buy that Depp and Paradis are having problems. They don't seem to spend that much time together, and Depp has seemed really weird over the past year, getting drunk in public and seeming to act like a bachelor.

Of course, there's another tabloid report, this time with the tabloid's favorite villainess, Angelina Jolie. In this story, though, Angelina is The Guardian of Good Relationships. Now Magazine claims that Angelina has reached out to her "friend" Johnny and urged him to "repair his relationship" with Vanessa. A source tells Now Mag, "They stayed in touch after The Tourist. When she heard what was going on she reached out to him to see how he was coping and urged him to work it out." So… Eva Green is being cast as the new Angelina Jolie then?

Photos courtesy of People Mag, WENN.
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Is Jennifer Aniston six months pregnant & trying to get back with Brad Pitt?

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 08:54 AM PST

We haven't had new photos of Jennifer Aniston in more than two months. Throughout September and October of last year, Aniston and Justin Theroux were photographed a lot in New York City, but over the past two months, they've been traveling back and forth from LA to NYC, plus they were on vacation, and for whatever reason, the photo ops dried up. There were some exclusive pics of Aniston a few weeks ago – which you can see here – but we didn't have access to them. I'm bringing this up because it seems Aniston is “in hiding" because she's got a severe case of the preggos. According to random British reports, Aniston is SIX MONTHS along:

JENNIFER Aniston has a bun in the oven — according to a new report.

Britain's Look magazine claims the actress is six months pregnant with her first child.
The star, who has spoken frequently of her desire for children, was seen last week with a noticeable bump which she tried to conceal under a wide coat.

"She wouldn't have wanted to make a big deal but she must be so excited," a source said.

"If anyone ever asked if she was worried about running out of time, she'd reply, 'I'm absolutely having kids there's not one doubt in my mind'."

[From Look via Showbiz Spy]

Go back and look at that photo of Aniston from a few weeks ago – there does seem to be something weird happening with her long coat, right? So is she really pregnant? The last time anyone bothered to ask Huvane, it was because the tabloids claimed Aniston was knocked up with twins. Huvane "joked" that it was actually triplets, a decent deflection if she really is knocked up.

So now that I'm actually on board with Aniston's bump of mystery, what's going on with Justin Theroux? Last week, the tabs claimed that Theroux had "stormed out" after Aniston picked a fight with him about how he should propose to her. Star Mag's story this week picks up where that left off – Aniston is alone and depressed, so of course, she called Brad Pitt:

Jen is reportedly pregnant with her first child but is on the verge of a split with live-in beau Justin Theroux and she fears she'll have to raise her child alone so she's asking for Brad's help!

Jennifer Aniston wants her old life back — including her ex-husband Brad Pitt! Star claims Jen is "shaken up" because Justin Theroux stormed out on her during their holiday vacation to Colorado. The two were reportedly fighting because Justin didn't propose to Jen over Christmas — Jen turned to Brad in desperation and told her he's also having problems with Angelina Jolie!

"Jen impulsively called Brad's cell. She didn't expect him to answer, but he did." the source says. "He was curt and said he was busy, but then he asked her what was up. Jen started crying and pouring out her heart about her problems with Justin. She finally blurted out: 'I miss you. I want you back.'"

Jen, 42, is reportedly waiting to announce her pregnancy when she reaches her second trimester, but she's worried she'll have to announce a split too.

"Jen feels like a fool," the source adds. "The last thing she wants is to have to make a joint announcement — that she is pregnant and that she and the father have broken up."

But what did Brad do that was so bad? He gave her "false hope" in a possible reconciliation!

"Brad can be really stupid in not considering that these conversations leave her with the falso hope that maybe they could have a future together," the source says. "Brad tried to soothe Jen by confessing that he and Angie were also having problems. He thought it would help Jen see that all couples have ups and downs, but now she's thinking he'll leave Angie for her!"

Do you really think Jen is that delusional? Brad and Angie have six kids together!

[From Hollywood Life]

LOL at "Do you really think Jen is that delusional?" Dude, don't even get me started. While I always thought that Jennifer would probably NOT end up ever becoming a mom, she's made some big changes in her life over the past year, and her weight gain has been noticeable over the past few months. So, is she knocked up or what? And is she hoping that Brad will return to her at long last?

Photos courtesy of PCN, WENN.
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Us Weekly: Rihanna and Chris Brown have been secretly hooking up for a year

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 08:28 AM PST

Ugh, I just don’t know what to think of this story. Yesterday, Kaiser brought us the comparatively blissful news of Rihanna’s blunt-filled Hawaiin vacation, which seems so peaceful that I’m using more of those photos. However, danger may be lurking just around the corner (figuratively) in the form of Chris Brown, who does have a confirmed girlfriend who would ideally prevent his story from being true. However, Kaiser reminded me that Chris was allegedly hooking up with Kelly Rowland while on tour last year, so maybe that establishes a pattern of cheating that would mean he’d have no problems with casual hookups with someone else too . . . such as Rihanna. Of course, RiRi herself has already admitted that she still admires Chris even though he beat her senseless.

Until now, I’ve always maintained that Rihanna would never actually go back to Chris for the simple reason that her handlers won’t let them get close because of publicity reasons. A true reunion would be awful for her career, but does that leave out the possibility of occasional hookups? Us Weekly seems to believe that this has been the case for the past year:

February 8 marks the three-year anniversary of Chris Brown’s infamous assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna.

And it turns out that the exes — forcibly separated after the beating by court order — could very well be spending that “anniversary” together. As multiple sources confirm in the new Us Weekly, Rihanna, 23, and Brown, 22, have secretly been hooking up for nearly a year.

The edgy, platinum-selling “We Found Love” singer and Brown “meet up very casually,” a Brown confidante says. “She comes to see him anytime she’s in L.A.”

Explains a music industry source: “They can’t get enough of each other. I don’t see it ending well.”

“Rihanna loves to live dangerously, and talking to and hooking up with Chris is all part of that,” adds a Rihanna insider.

The clandestine relationship isn’t just complicated because of the couple’s violent past; the “Forever” crooner also has a girlfriend, aspiring model Karrueche Tran.

“He and Rihanna are just friends,” Brown’s rep tells Us. “He’s not cheating.” Rihanna’s rep had no comment.

[From Us Weekly]

At this point, I am starting to believe that Rihanna isn’t above hooking up with her abusive ex for a thrill, but I hope she truly isn’t that stupid. Maybe she really is lured by the cycle of violence and misinterprets it as “exciting.” Hopefully, this is merely baseless gossip on a slow news day though. While in Hawaii, Rihanna’s been tweeting about her hot chef. She should hook up with him instead.

Photos courtesy of Fame

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Kris Jenner’s divorce documents reveal she was cheating and money-grubbing

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 07:34 AM PST


This news came out over the weekend but I’m just seeing it now and it’s too good to pass up. Radar Online got ahold of the documents from Kris Jenner’s 1991 divorce from the late legal powerhouse Robert Kardashian. We’ve already heard that Kris cheated on Robert during their marriage. Kris freely admitted to an affair in her memoir and that’s how Khloe was rumored to be conceived. Well according to the divorce papers, Kris unsurprisingly cheated on Robert with her latest husband, diva Bruce Jenner, as well. That’s this lady’s M.O. so it’s to be expected, as is the massive child and spousal support she felt she was entitled to. It’s a pretty interesting read and reveals exactly what matters to this family, and the lengths they’ll go to get it. Here’s more:

According to the divorce papers, which you can read exclusively here on RadarOnline.com, the couple went head-to-head over Kris' lavish spending and Robert accused his then-wife of flaunting her new relationship with now-husband, Bruce Jenner in front of the children even letting the kids see them in bed together!

In the documents, filed in the Los Angles Superior Court, Robert revealed he was so upset when he found out about the affair, after almost 12 years of marriage, that the court feared he was a threat to his family and awarded Kris temporary custody of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Robert Jr.

But Robert claimed the court ordered psychologist found his anger problems were "only situational."

"This is true," Robert said. "It was true that I was very upset when I found out the respondent was having an affair and I wanted a divorce."

According to the documents, after discovering the affair an angry Robert cancelled Kris' credit cards, store cards and stopped paying for her extravagant lifestyle ­ something Kris bitterly fought against as she claimed she deserved the "luxury lifestyle" she had been leading.

"The petitioner and I shared a luxury lifestyle," Kris said in her petition for spousal and child support. "Nothing was too good for our family. Even our children's clothing was purchased at exclusive boutiques."

In her petition, Kris goes on to detail her tastes for fancy restaurants and boutiques, high-priced European holidays and lavish home entertainment ­ "The New Year's Eve party alone cost between $10,000 and $12,000. Since January 1990 the petitioner has essentially cut me off from all funds.

"In order to have some cash at my disposal to meet the basic needs of myself and my children, I have taken a job offered to me by my friend who has just gone through a divorce.

"(But) I am earning less money than our paid household help," Kris said.

Robert, at the time, claimed to be unemployed and only earning $2,000, but Kris told the court it was voluntary as he wanted more money than what had been offered to him by a law firm, so she demanded he be ordered to work to cover her and the family's expenses ­ which monthly added up to a massive $37,189!

According to Kris' sworn statement this included the $15,000 a month mortgage payment on the Beverly Hills home, wages for a gardener, a maid and housekeeper as well as clothing costs. According to Kris, each month she spent $800 on clothing for all four children but spent $2000 on herself.

Kris' lawyers also demanded Robert pay for the family's extensive debts on store cards for some of Los Angeles top stores including Neiman Marcus and Saks 5th Avenue ­ which had grown to more than $21,000.

Money problems aside, Kris accused Robert of emotionally abusing her with a then 9-year-old Kim forced to witness the aftermath. "As a result of (Robert) and my irreconcilable differences, there is a tremendous amount of discord at the family residence," Kris claimed in her petition.

"Every time (Robert) and I speak, (Robert) emotionally abuses me to the point that I am unable to handle the simplest tasks for hours after our conversation. In every conversation (Robert) and I have, (Robert) calls me a whore, a bitch, a slut and other names I can not repeat.

"On May 3, 1990 Kimberly found me crying after a brutal conversation with (Robert) and she became so upset I had a difficult time getting her to her carpool on time. Kimberly called my office twice that afternoon crying hysterically, begging me to come home."

Because of the alleged abuse and Robert's erratic but "excessive doting attention" on the children, Kris demanded Robert be banned from the family home. However, Robert argued he be allowed to move back into the home to protect the children from Kris' now husband Bruce Jenner ­ claiming Bruce and Kris' relationship was detrimental to the children and Robert Jr. even witnessed his still-married mother in bed with Bruce!

According to Robert's statement, while he was forced to live with relatives Kris had moved Bruce in, along with his four children ­ including reality star Brody Jenner ­ as well as his extended family.

"I believe this situation is inappropriate for several reasons," Robert said. "Firstly my children are exposed to another man living with their mother. I believe that is inappropriate and I ask the court to enjoin and restrain (Kris) from living with any member of the opposite sex in or about the presence of our children.

"As a matter of fact, my son Robert said he slept on the couch in (Kris') bedroom when (Kris) and her boyfriend were in bed together in the bedroom. In my option this situation is detrimental to the children," Robert told the court.

[From Radar Online]

These are 1991 numbers remember, you can at least double them to estimate what they would be today. Poor Kris. She cheated on her husband, got caught and then complained that she could no longer afford to buy her kids designer clothing and go out to the best restaurants. The gall of these people is astounding. So if she didn’t get caught, would she have continued to cheat on the side? She probably never would have married Bruce if she didn’t need another meal ticket. She just wanted to get her rocks off during the day when she had nothing else to do, just as she explained in her memoir about the other guy. I doubt those were the only two affairs she had either.

Speaking of Bruce, he was seen out over the weekend with a large scar on his face that looked like it was the result of plastic surgery. He claimed it was from the removal of a cancerous growth. He’s had several facelifts and has admitted to plastic surgery, so maybe he’s telling the truth. Or maybe he took a stiletto in the face from Kris.

Also, check out the photo of Kris above. It’s from January 14. Compared to the photos of her below which are older, she looks like she got even more work done. So she probably went to the surgeon with Bruce.

Kris is shown at some Miss America events this month and on New Year’s eve. That lady has no business wearing that purple leopard print dress. Photos of Bruce are from May. Credit: WENN.com

Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka cover Out Mag’s “Love Issue”: sexy & awesome?

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 07:07 AM PST

I've never been crazy about Neil Patrick Harris's boyfriend/partner David Burtka. I adore Neil, and as such, I've accepted that David is in his life and hoped for the best. But David seems… I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. He's like Jennifer Westfeldt, Jon Hamm's girlfriend. I'm annoyed by them, but I can't figure out if it's just jealousy or because Westfeldt and Burtka are simply annoying people. Anyway, I had a point! My point is that I never really cared for David… until now. Because these Out Magazine photos of David and Neil are HOT. They cover the February issue of Out Magazine's "The Love Issue". Instead of an interview with David and Neil, the magazine simply let's them tell their love story in their own words, in the form of two essays – you can read them here. I'm going to excerpt some of Neil's, just because I love it so much – this is all in Neil's voice, Neil's own words:

How Neil met David…
I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean–type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away. I assumed he was Kate's boyfriend and said, "Nicely done." And she said, "David? He's not playing on my team, but he has a boyfriend." So, then I just kept seeing him on the periphery, and in turn, catching up on him, but I didn't want to be that guy who was creating some sort of romantic interference. So, I was always around when he was around, hoping the stars would align. When we all hung out for the first time — I was invited by Kate to an American Idol viewing party — I just stammered around him. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

They're both Gemini…
There's something kinetic about him and his being. He's classically sexy, yet he's very much a boy in his energy. It's a great dynamic. When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David's the antithesis of that. He's more like Tigger. I'm, in turn, very introspective — the thinker, rather than the doer. I tend to weigh options before making decisions, and David is the polar opposite of that. We're hyper similar and also incredibly opposite. We share a wardrobe. We have the same shoe size, body size, height, and weight. We're both Gemini. We both like the idea of family — not a nuclear family, but a social family. Yet, we're incredibly opposite in the way we process information.

Neil on his single days…
I remember being in my mid-twenties, lying in bed thinking, I've never taken a shower with anyone before; I've never had any kind of long-term relationship. I remember thinking that the rest of my life would be solo. I wasn't weepy when I thought that — it was just a realization that I had gone this long being self-sufficient. Thankfully, the world changed and perceptions changed, and my life went to the East Coast, where there's a much greater acceptance of anonymity and freedom. In New York, I was able to date with my head held higher. In L.A., it felt much more gossipy. It's all baby steps: You have to be OK with telling your friends you're going on a date; you have to be OK with the people in your world meeting and judging them; you have to be OK with breakups. I'm infinitely grateful all those steps led to Mr. Burtka — once we started talking, we never stopped.

Neil fell in love first…
I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me. I was in love with him before he was comfortable saying it, and I think that speaks to our past experiences. I remember saying, "I think I love you," and he was like, "That's really nice," which is not necessarily what you want to hear. But I appreciated his honesty in not jumping the gun and saying something because he felt obliged to…. What defines a relationship is the work that's involved to maintain it, and it's constantly changing. Sometimes I'm deeply in love with David and head-over-heels, and sometimes I question whether it's going to work out and is meant to be. It's like a business relationship, as well as a personal one; we have a business together and that's maintaining our love for one another.

Engagement and marriage…
David first proposed to me five years ago on the actual street corner where we met. We were on our way to an event at an Indian casino 45 minutes out of town in a limousine, and David wanted to stop for some reason that I didn't quite get. I thought he wanted to get some booze or something. And then he got on one knee and proposed, and I was so freaked out by it that I said, "Yes," but I didn't know what it meant. Then I got the ring and loved it, and a year later, on Valentine's Day, I proposed to him in Santa Monica. That was four years ago. The callous on my right hand is long-formed—and not from masturbation. I'm dying to move over to the other hand. I'd also like to call him my husband. I'm not the biggest fan of the word "partner": It either means that we run a business together or we're cowboys. "Boyfriend" seems fleeting, like maybe we met two weeks ago. I've been saying "better half" for as long as I've been able to. I think it's a little self-deprecating and clearly defines that we're in a relationship, but it would be nice to say "my husband."

[From Out Magazine]

I get a little bit choked up, okay? Don't judge me. But I thought the part about Neil telling David he loved him first and the part about marriage were just… lovely. Bittersweet, emotional, beautiful. Sigh… okay, I'm all for Neil and David now.

Photos courtesy of Out Magazine.
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OK! Mag: Angelina Jolie is three months pregnant and eating well

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 05:06 AM PST

Blah. If this feels familiar, it's because we hear this story twenty-million times a year. So why I am I writing about it? Because it's a slow gossip day, and because I honestly thought Angelina looked knocked up in Palm Springs two weekends ago. OK! Magazine reports this week that Angelina is definitely and totally knocked up, and that she's about three months along. This baby is the product of a renewed "spark" between Brad and Angelina – apparently, they always get along better when they're trying to conceive.

Lately, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have dropped some none-too-subtle hints that they’d like to add to their brood of six children. The smart money seemed to be on adoption — though Angelina did say recently, “I could end up pregnant.”

Turns out she wasn’t toying with us: A source close to the Oscar-winner reveals that Angelina is expecting her seventh child and telling friends she can’t wait to be a mom again.

“She’s almost three months along,” the source confirms to OK!. “It’s not something she wants to officially announce but she’s at a point where she is telling a select group of people.” Adds an insider: Angelina is really savoring every moment. she’s having a tough time with morning sickness but says it’s all worth it.”

Indeed, Angelina appears to be embracing the whole process: nausea, racing hormones, weight gain and all.

The actress is already mom to six lively kids — Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 6, Shiloh, 5, and Knox and Vivienne, 3 — and she's more than prepared for this newcomer.

"Angelina has cleared out her bedroom and redone it all in white," the insider said. "She wants the room to have a Zen-like feeling because she believes in the mind/body connection and wants her mind at peace."

Friends say this baby couldn't have come a better time — it's saved the couple's relationship!

"Of coure, while trying to conceive, Angelina and Brad got to spend a lot of alone time," the insider revealed. "The kids are rarely without either one of their parents, but over the past few months their nannies have been taking over a lot more."

The bonding time worked: "Angie and Brad have always had an incredible physical connection, but when they have the mission of making a baby, things between them really spark up."

There's other benefits to expecting a little one: Pregnancy will force super-skinny Angelina to eat. "Because Angelina sees so much starvation up close, it's always hard for her to indulge in food," the source explained. "But when she gets pregnant, all that goes out the window."

All is well in the Jolie-Pitt household. "It's a very joyous time," the insider said. "Everyone is thrilled to see them in a happy place."

But will there be MORE kids? "They certainly do plan to adopt again," the source said.

[From OK! Magazine & Hollywood Life]

Basically, Angelina is always in a constant state of A) Extreme thinness or B) Pregnancy. If the tabloids are convinced that she's not pregnant, they run "Angelina is too thin" stories. If she looks like a relatively healthy weight, they run "Angelina is preggo" stories.

That being said, if this turned out to be true, I wouldn't be surprised. I think Angelina's boobs look bigger, and her top half just looks slightly more filled out. In her past pregnancies, you could really see it in her boobs, her arms and her constant sack-wearing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.
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Lindsay Lohan went braless to court again, and she’s getting sued by a crazy dude

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 04:34 AM PST

Say something nice. I'll start. I don't hate the trousers that Lindsay Lohan wore to court yesterday (which was just a progress report, and LL did well). With a different blouse or sweater, I would probably wear this kind of trouser. But overall, Lindsay's latest court look was… awful. Crackie. As always. I don't get the sweater thing – at first I thought it was a belly shirt, but it's not, right? It's a color-blocked sweater, and the bottom part is "Lohan corpse" colored.

Can we talk about her boobs for a second? Look, I think I'm probably a cup size bigger than Lohan, so I know what a pain in the ass it is to have giant tatas and to find cute bras that actually fit. But that's no excuse for consistently going braless, which LL definitely is doing here. Her boobs are in BAD shape. She needs to wear a bra – full stop. I don't know if Lindsay thinks this braless look is cute, or if she's delusional about her size or whatever, but she needs to shove 'em in a 36D and just be done with it.

After that, I can't even start in with the white-blonde hair or the ghoul makeup or the crack lips. Thankfully, there's a new story to discuss – a crazy man is suing Lindsay, and he claims that she's a high-class hooker who was in league with Seal Team 6 or something…? His name is not Michael Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan got SERVED with a lawsuit on her way into court this morning … by an apparently delusional man who believes he played a role in the killing of Osama bin Laden.

TMZ has obtained a copy of the suit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court … which is essentially 12 pages of incomplete, incoherent gibberish.

From what we gather, the man who filed the claim, Thomas A. Green, alleges Lohan communicated with him via Facebook and led him to believe she would participate in a dot-com business he wanted to create.

It appears Green feels he was duped … and when he pressed Lohan about her true intentions, he uncovered a conspiracy about the killing of Bin Laden.

In his suit, Green writes, “[Thomas] set out to command [Lohan] to twitter and stated if [Lohan] acknowledges this is an Osoma Bin Ladden op all civilians in past wrong doing will receive clemency.”

Green also claims he is a former U.S. Marine — who recently spent time in a homeless shelter due to a “depreciated stage of delusion and hallucinations.”

Then, for no apparent reason, he writes, “[Lohan] might be a high end prostitute.”

Green is suing Lohan for engaging in unfair business practices — and he’s demanding $300,000.

But as crazy as his lawsuit seems, Green hired a process server … who served Lindsay at her progress hearing in L.A. this morning.

[From TMZ]

It sounds like Mr. Green was reading our comments! So, let's correct the record for him: Yes, LL is a hooker but she's not high-end, unless "high-end" is some kind of code for "trading drugs and party access for sex." And no, LL didn't have anything to do with Osama. Unless you want to make a connection between Afghan poppy fields and Lohan's crackhead status…? My God, it all makes sense!

Seriously, though – how sad is it that this poor Marine isn't getting better medical care?

Photos courtesy of Fame.
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Adele’s new boyfriend is rich, married and 14 years older than her

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 04:20 AM PST

So, a while back Adele had a really bad breakup. Her heartbreak fueled her songwriting and her album 21 is full of heartbreak and devastation. That heartbreak and devastation made an album that was one of the best sellers of the year, in America and Europe, and Adele is the music industry's current golden (ginger) girl. So what does it mean for music when Adele gets a new boyfriend? When the girl who sings the blues is happy and in love? It might be bad for business, right? That's what's happening now. Adele has a new boyfriend named Simon Konecki – you can see photos of them together here. There's a problem, though. Simon is a bit more complicated than we originally thought. For one, he seems to be technically married. Now, is Adele a homewrecker? The answer is "no." But the answer is also "but we need to investigate and make sure that our girl doesn't get her heart broken, and if she does, she needs to write music about it."

She enjoys the accolade of having the biggest selling UK album of the 21st century and has won an army of followers with her songs. But while fans of Brit-nominated pop star Adele, 23, share her delight at finding happiness with new love Simon Konecki, the path to romantic bliss is not entirely without domestic complications.

For bearded Old Etonian entrepreneur Konecki has already experienced married life, having wed fashion stylist Clary Fisher in the summer of 2004. The couple, who have parted, have a five-year-old daughter.

The singer — full name Adele Adkins — is devoted to Simon, known as 'Swampy' to his friends, who is 14 years her senior.

When he married Clary, a London College of Fashion graduate, he was a director of the EBS group, an investment holding company. The pair moved in glamorous social circles, counting multi-millionaire property figure Anton Bilton, Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood's son Jamie and Lucas White, the party-loving playboy son of the late industrialist Lord 'Gordy' White, among their pals. But after Konecki left the City, to set up an eco-company with White, his marriage failed.

Despite moving to his home town of Brighton with Clary and the birth of their daughter, the couple grew apart. Grammy award-winning Adele, who is recovering from surgery on her vocal cords, was introduced to her new beau by singer Ed Sheeran a couple of months ago. Their backgrounds could not be more different. While Adele was raised by her single mother and went to an inner-city primary in Tottenham, Konecki was sent to Eton, where contemporaries included Tom Parker Bowles and Bear Grylls. His parents live in a £1 million waterfront house in Florida, and his sisters went to posh Roedean.

According to friends, Konecki is in the process of divorcing. He and his wife separated in 2010.

When approached, Clary, who lives in Sussex and still uses her married name, refused to comment. A spokesperson for Adele did not respond to requests to clarify Konecki's marital status.

[From The Mail]

Yeah, Adele is not a homewrecker – she was JUST introduced to Simon a few months ago, and he and his wife have been separated for more than a year… although, this situation kind of reminds me of Kate Winslet and her married lover Ned Rocknroll. Anyway, Adele just got involved with a dude with a lot of emotional baggage, who needs to make this divorce official. Making matters even more complicated – the daughter, and the differences in family money and education and all. Oh, and age! He's 14 years older than her!!! That's a big deal when you're 23, and your last relationship left you utterly devastated.

This is all depressing, and I really do hope that Adele doesn't get hurt and all, but am I an evil bitch for hoping – in a very small, dark recess of my heart – that whatever goes down will make its way into some new music? I just can't listen to 21 anymore! I've worn out my copy, and I had to move onto The Black Keys' new album (which is awesome).

Photos courtesy of Fame, Rolling Stone.
adele1 adele2 FP_7798126_RIJ_2011_VMA_SET1_34_152

Anthony Bourdain on Paula Deen: ‘getting into leg breaking [to] sell crutches’

Posted: 18 Jan 2012 04:12 AM PST


Paula Deen was all over the place yesterday making the announcement that she has type 2 diabetes and is the new spokeswoman for a diabetes treatment from Novo Nordisk. On the Today Show, Paula admitted that she was diagnosed with the metabolic disorder three years ago, and defended her decision to delay the announcement. Al Roker asked her why she took so long to tell everyone about her diagnosis and she said that she waited because she had “nothing to give to my friends out there.” She meant that she had nothing to market to her audience. As for whether the incredibly unhealthy food she cooks has anything to do with her disorder, she was cagey and said “certainly Al, that is part of the puzzle, but there’s many other things that can lead to diabetes. Certainly genetics, certainly your life style, certainly what you eat, certainly stress. And last but not least is age.” Then she went on to talk about baby boomers and launch yet another pitch for her diabetes program.

One of Paula’s biggest detractors, fellow celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, has weighed in on this story. He initially gave a kind of measured response in an interview with Eater.com, wondering aloud how long she’s known about it. He was wrong that she wasn’t going to own up to knowing about it for three years though:

What’s your take on Paula Deen supposedly announcing that she has Diabetes and that she landed a multimillion-dollar deal to be the spokeswoman for a pharmaceutical company to endorse a drug she’s taking?
I feel bad. But this entire weekend people have been calling looking for quotes. I guess it’s a moderate interest. I mean, how long has she known?

It’s odd because she was on Dr. Oz last month, and she never mentioned diabetes. Instead she just owned up to smoking cigarettes for 50 years.
We can look forward to People or Us magazine running the cover story, “I’m back” usual rehab story private hell. Clearly this has been coming for a while. She’s been looking for ways to position herself. Is she really going to be selling the cure now? Or will she back off for a decent interval? I take no pleasure in it. There ain’t nothing funny about Diabetes.

So if true, would you agree that it’s hypocritical?
When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you’ve been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you’ve got Type 2 Diabetes… It’s in bad taste if nothing else. How long has she known? I suspect a very long time. On Tuesday when she announces it, it’ll be to say I just got diagnosed… Al Roker won’t be asking her how long she’s known. I don’t think people will press that issue.

[From Eater.com]

Then on Twitter, Bourdain wrote “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.” He later clarified that he “Never called anybody a ‘diabetic scam artist’. TMZ’s words. Not mine.”

My previous opinion of Paula up to this point was neutral to positive. She sells this down home sweet image while making food that’s tasty but outrageously bad for you. Maybe it’s a gimmick, maybe she doesn’t really eat much of it herself as she claims. She seems to have eaten enough of it to have seriously affected her health. She’s obviously a smart businesswoman, and a crafty one too. The lady knows how to shill products and market herself, and she kept up the same unhealthy schtick until she had enough endorsements and deals lined up to make the transition into the next one.

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Photo credit: WENN.com

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