Cele|bitchy

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• Kim Kardashian’s E! shows are allegedly about to be canceled?
• Adriana Lima doesn’t eat solids for 9 days, drink water 12 hours before a VS show
• Michelle Duggar is pregnant at 45 with what will be her 20th kid
• Jessica Alba in sequined schoolgirl Tory Burch: too young or very cute?
• Kristen Stewart: “I’m naturally skinny, so I don’t have to exercise a lot or go on a diet”
• Mariah Yeater, Bieber’s accuser, cries and leaves interview
• Linnocent’s Playboy shoot was “classy” & had a Marilyn Monroe theme, of course
• Jennifer Lopez in Atelier Versace at the Glamour event: beautiful or busted?
• Brett Ratner now claims he didn’t “bang” Olivia Munn: “She’s actually talented”
• Natalie Portman & Benjamin Millepied go for a paparazzi-friendly jog

Kim Kardashian’s E! shows are allegedly about to be canceled? Posted: 08 Nov 2011 08:54 AM PST As CB talked about yesterday, Kim Kardashian flew to Minnesota this weekend where she met with Kris Humphries, her estranged husband. TMZ had a report about Kim feeling "conflicted" and that she and Kris might end up seeking "counseling" to work through their problems. They spent two hours with Pastor Joel Johnson, the man who officiated their wedding, at Kris's parents lakefront Minnesota home. Radar says, "Pastor Johnson declined to answer reporters questions about how the couple is doing." Shortley after that quick trip, Kim flew back into LA, trying to look super-sad. So, what was this trip all about? Does Kim really want to try to reconcile with Kris Humphries? Or was this just a strategic PR move to help soften her now ridiculous image? Well, according to Media Takeout, this was Kim's way of working out some business with E!. According to Meda Takeout's sources, E! is ready to pull the plug on this Kardashian nonsense: When MediaTakeOut.com heard that Kim Kardashian was LEAVING her paid appearances in Australia to fly back to the United States to reconcile with Kris Humphries - we thought, SOMETHING IS FISHY!! Well now, we’re starting to get a clearer picture. According to an insider over at E! Networks - the channel is considering DROPPING Kim Kardashain’s new show, Kim and Kourtney take Manhattan. In addition, the channel was planning to STOP airing Kim Kardashian’s wedding special. The loss of the two shows would mean MILLIONS in losses for Kim. She currently is paid more than $2M a season for the reality show and she gets 30% of the ad revenue every time her wedding special airs. And equally as important to Kim, it would keep her OFF the TV screens. Now you already KNOW that Kim and her mama ain’t about to let that happen. Expect Kim and that Humphries IDIOT to RECONCILE this week, and break up OFFICIALLY, once Kim’s show airs it’s final episode in December. [From Media Takeout] But remember, people! Kim didn't make any money off of that wedding! That's what her mother claimed, and I believe she’s still claiming. Here's my take on this entire situation: I think Kim should stick with the divorce. She's already getting slammed for it, so she just stick with her gut and go through with it. This wishy-washy, "Maybe we'll reconcile" stuff just makes her look worse, in my opinion. As for the business side of things - I do think the Kardashian-Jenner Klan deserves these lumps they're getting, and it wouldn't surprise me to learn that their businesses have taken a hit from this famewhore extravaganza. But! They're still making money, for themselves and for other people (E! and Ryan Seacrest). It will only be when advertisers start pulling out and viewership goes down that E! will cancel their multiple shows. So that means that if you want to see an end to Kardashian-kontrolled everything, begin to actively ignore them. Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Adriana Lima doesn’t eat solids for 9 days, drink water 12 hours before a VS show Posted: 08 Nov 2011 08:25 AM PST Adriana Lima is a 30 year-old Brazilian model and the mother of a two year-old daughter. Like so many other models and celebrities, Lima dropped the weight fast when she had her baby. She drew ire when she said that it was “easy” to lose the baby weight on one hand, while admitting that she didn’t eat any carbs and often worked out twice a day. That wouldn’t be “easy” for most people, but we don’t have her job or her money and no one pays us for being “hot.” In a new interview ahead of tomorrow’s Victoria’s Secret show, Lima reveals that she goes to even more extremes to bare almost all on the runway. She drinks only protein shakes for nine days ahead of time and doesn’t drink water for 12 hours before a show so she’s sufficiently skinny and “dried out.” That sounds like torture to me. Plus she still works out twice a day. What does it take to get the body of an Angel? Egg powder, twice-daily workouts and no solid food. Brazilian beauty Adriana Lima told the Telegraph just how much strenuous dieting and sacrifice to look effortlessly perfect for the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The 30-year-old model, who said she's been working out with a personal trainer every day since August, has doubled her regimen now that the show is coming up on Nov. 29. She lifts weights, she boxes, she jumps rope — and starting three weeks ago, she's been doing it twice a day. She also sees a nutritionist who measures out exactly what she needs to stay healthy but also keep her svelte. She drinks a gallon of water a day. Then, nine days before the show, she says goodbye to solid foods and drinks only protein shakes. She is allowed to stop drinking that daily gallon of water and just drink normally until 12 hours befor the show. Then, no liquids allowed at all. No liquids at all so you dry out; sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that, she said. Sources close to the process of getting ready for the $10 million production say the models train like Olympians for their big moment on the runway. “Adriana works really hard at it. It’s the same as if you were a long-distance runner," said Sophia Neophitou, chief stylist for this year’s show. "They are athletes in this environment — it’s harder to be a Victoria’s Secret model because no one can just chuck an outfit on you, and hide your lumps and bumps.” Despite the constant workouts, and missing tasty foods, Lima, a 30 year-old mother, said that it's all worth it. “It opens up so many doors, everyone knows your name, the whole world knows you now,” she said. “Any model in this world would love to be an Angel.” [From The Daily News] If I didn’t eat solids and worked out even once a day I would pass out. I need to have snacks at the gym because when I work out too hard I get dizzy from low blood sugar. Most other people can handle it, but I can’t give blood either or I’ll faint. It baffles me that there are people who can drink only protein shakes, work out twice a day, deny themselves water and still function. There’s something abnormal about it, and of course it’s also totally unhealthy and unsafe. But Lima is skinny, and she obviously thinks it’s worth it. What a great message to send to young women. Being a VS model “opens up so many doors” so it’s totally worth it to not eat for over a week! Lima isn’t even the tiniest VS model and those models are comparatively healthy when matched against high fashion models. It makes you wonder what those poor girls are doing to stay thin. Photo credit: WENN.com

Michelle Duggar is pregnant at 45 with what will be her 20th kid Posted: 08 Nov 2011 08:17 AM PST Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Michelle Duggar almost died while having her last and 19th baby, Josie, who was born at just 25 weeks old and spent four months in the NICU. Michelle and her husband Jim-Bob have been open about the fact that they want more children, that they think “God” gives them children, and that they’re trying for more. There was even a story in The Enquirer that Michelle would “die” for another baby, if that’s what God wanted. Now Michelle is pregnant again, and she just announced it on the Today Show. She’s super excited about it, of course, and doesn’t seem concerned at all about the medical risks: Eight isn't enough — and apparently neither was 19. Michelle Duggar and her husband Jim Bob made the surprising announcement Tuesday that they are expecting their 20th child. “We are so excited,” Michelle Duggar told the Today show in an exclusive interview. Michelle — who's three and a half months pregnant — says she was surprised to discover that she’s expecting again at 45. “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful.” Michelle says she’s over her first-trimester morning sickness and has been craving dill pickles. She says she hasn't had any health issues and that she's been working out five or six days a week for the past year. “I’m really in better shape than I’ve been in 20 years,” she said. The kids thought their dad Jim Bob was joking when he told them they would have a new brother or sister, Michelle said. They lined the family up on the staircase for a photo, she recalled, and Jim Bob said, “Smile — Mom’s going to have another baby!” “Their mouths dropped,” Michelle said. “They all looked at me to see if he was joking.” Jim Bob says he’s thrilled for their 20th child. “Michelle and I both feel like some of the most blessed parents in the world. Our children are so sweet… we are so grateful to God.” And, he adds, “We didn’t want to stop on an odd number.” Watch the video on RadarOnline.com Michelle says she'll find out the gender of the baby around Christmas. Their last child, Josie, suffered from gall-bladder problems as well as preeclampsia and was delivered three and a half months prematurely in order to save her life. (Josie is now a healthy toddler who will celebrate her second birthday in December.) The Duggars’ 19 children, who range in age from 23 years to 23 months, are: Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace, Josie. [From Radar] This bothered me so much. Michelle and Jim-Bob aren’t taking care of all those kids, their other kids are. This pregnancy is extremely risky for her given the complications she had with her last pregnancy and the fact that she’s 45. She doesn’t seem to mind, though, she’s having another baby and that’s what’s give her life meaning. I hope she’s ok and that the baby is ok, but I also hope that she goes through menopause very soon after the birth.

Jessica Alba in sequined schoolgirl Tory Burch: too young or very cute? Posted: 08 Nov 2011 08:13 AM PST I think these are the last batch of photos I'll be doing from the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year event. Mostly, I want to cover these pics because I absolutely HATE Jessica Alba's Tory Burch dress. This is the kind of dress I expect on a young child - like, Suri Cruise would rock this dress. Kiernan Shipka would rock this dress, and she would be adorable in it. A 30-something self-proclaimed Fashion Girl? Nope. But! I like her makeup and her hair - although the hair is not right for a formal dinner. But her face looks beautiful, and look! SHE'S SMILING. Incidentally, regarding Alba - Star Magazine had a small little blurb in this past week's issue claiming that Alba and Cash Warren are having serious problems and that having little Haven didn't help their relationship at all. I don't know if that's true or not, but I've always thought Cash was so skeevy, so whatever. Next fashion girl: Kerry Washington in yellow Marchesa. I keep wondering about Kerry, actually, whenever I see a new photo of her. For a while there, girl was looking rough, like she had gotten some wonky face work done and nothing had settled. Maybe it was weight loss, or maybe she had just gotten some cheap nip-tuck, I don't know. But she actually looks rather nice here - I'm not a huge fan of yellow, and I'm not a huge fan of Marchesa's cheap showgirl looks, but this is okay on her. And lastly, Laura Bush and her daughters - I like that they all wore bold colors. Those girls adore their mom. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kristen Stewart: “I’m naturally skinny, so I don’t have to exercise a lot or go on a diet” Posted: 08 Nov 2011 07:42 AM PST Kristen Stewart has done a photo shoot in the latest issue of Vogue Italia. Now… I'm always up for a good K-Stew photo shoot. She's an interesting magazine model because she's capable of looking very different with wildly different styling. I know you're shaking your head at me for that, but you'd be surprised at how few celebrity women really mix it up stylistically for photo shoots, and how often those women look pretty much the same in every photo. K-Stew isn't like that - I tend to not care for her pictorials where the style is "romantic" and someone tried to make her look "feminine". She's much prettier and more interesting, in my opinion, when the stylist makes her look "harder" and more rock n' roll. My favorite photo shoot from Kristen to this day is the one she did with Interview Magazine - go here to see. It seems like Vogue Italia was trying to mix it up and make Kristen look like some dark, goth-glamour princess in this shoot. The problem? Her expressions are… not good. Since all of the little girls from the Kristen Fan Club come in and yell at me for even daring to mention that their heroine is a sullen, twitchy, lip-biting eye-roller, I'll let The Fashion Spot do the dirty work: Kristen Stewart got into some Roberto Cavalli, Alexander McQueen, Giles Deacon, Giambattista Valli, Armani, Chanel, and Blumarine for Vogue Italia, and even though it’s not like anyone could look bad in clothing that looks so good, the Twilight actress didn’t knock it out of the park. KStew is obviously gorgeous, but here she’s sulking from photo to photo. She looks so stiff and sour she might as well be standing in an airport security line. In the accompanying interview, she said that she “would love to wear more feminine clothes,” but in these photos, the “feminine” gowns might as well be Dementors sucking out her soul. [From The Fashion Spot] *coughcoughCOSIGNcough* Here are more excerpts from Vogue Italia: On her favorite fashion: "I'd love to wear very feminine clothes, but then, in the everyday life, when I'm in Los Angeles, at home, I'd rather be comfortable. Whereas, when I'm away, like in this case, I pack all kinds of clothes, for the evening as well, because I think that maybe I'll get a chance to wear them." On her figure: "I'm naturally skinny. We're all like this in my family, so I don't have to exercise a lot or go on a diet. I do all the exercise I need on set. Right now, for example, to play Snow White, I never stop: I run, jump, fight with swords, horseride… I do all kinds of stuff! You see, I've even injured myself! But it's nothing serious." On her acting philosophy: "I'm not one of those actresses that maniacally prepare themselves for a role. On set, I do whatever I need to do, but day after the day. If I have to improvise, I improvise, if I have to learn my lines by heart, I do it. There are certain screenplays which are so beautiful, that they only need to be repeated as they are, without any changes. I live in the moment." [From Vogue via The Hollywood Gossip] She’s “naturally skinny”. NOW. Wait until her metabolism slows down in her late 20s. Then it will be a different story. Meanwhile, in a new interview with MTV, K-Stew totally got ahead of herself when she discussed Snow White and the Huntsman, which won't be coming out until next year. She was asked what she would do if the Snow White film turned into yet another franchise for her, and she said, "Oh man, to be totally candid and honest with you, when I first signed on to this thing, the idea of doing another franchise was like, ‘Wow, [we'll] cross that bridge when it comes.’ It was something so far outside my realm of thinking. I was so focused on the first one, and I thought, ‘Maybe, maybe,’ but I’ve got stars in my eyes. I’m literally over the moon about what I’m doing right now. Yes, I would love to [do more 'Snow White' films].” Is it just me or is K-Stew worried about her career beyond Twilight? I think that's what we're seeing more and more as she promotes these two final films - she's worried she's going to sink post-Twilight. Vogue Italia photos courtesy of The Fashion Spot.

Mariah Yeater, Bieber’s accuser, cries and leaves interview Posted: 08 Nov 2011 07:10 AM PST Mariah Yeater interview starts at 2:30 in. She addresses the other paternity claims at 13:00 There are so many nightly entertainment news programs in America. Last night’s Inside Edition had video footage of Mariah Yeater, the 20 year-old who has filed a paternity claim against Justin Bieber. The video was just of Mariah feeding the baby boy she says is Bieber’s, three month old Trystan, a bottle. I assume that she was paid for the video. She also did an interview with The Insider, which was probably willing to pay her more than Inside Edition, and they’re airing it in two parts, the first of which was on yesterday. (And is above.) As I mentioned in yesterday’s story, I found Yeater credible and somewhat sympathetic in the clip I saw. She clearly stated her case, and said she was in possession of additional evidence that was back up her claim that her baby was fathered by Justin Bieber. This interview comes after news came out that Yeater first accused another man, an ex boyfriend, of being the father. She got into a physical altercation with her ex after she confronted him over paternity, and was arrested in December of last year for allegedly smacking him. (Britain’s The Mirror used unconfirmed sources to claim that Yeater accused yet another man, a guy they call “Steve,” of fathering the baby. Given the source, it’s just as likely that The Mirror made all that up. Until people are willing to go on the record with that story, I don’t believe it. ) I had the chance to watch the full first part of Yeater’s interview, that’s above, and I think that she’s telling the truth. Sure she’s getting paid, but that doesn’t mean she’s lying about having sex with Bieber. In the interview, Yeater says “everyone has a past” when asked about the previous paternity claims, and answers “no comment” when asked directly about her ex. She later says about her ex “That’s all he is, some boy.” She gets frustrated when asked if the other young women who were backstage with Bieber can verify that she was there the night she claims he got her pregnant. It’s hard to tell whether she’s frustrated because her story is made up, or whether she’s frustrated because she knows that Bieber’s lawyers are going to rake her over the coals. In part two airing tonight, Yeater cries and walks off when they show her the footage of Bieber denying ever meeting her. You can watch a preview of that below. I think she’s just overwhelmed and realizes that this is going to be an incredibly hard struggle. Does she even know that baby is Bieber’s though, does she just suspect it, or did she concoct this whole story for cash? If she did make it up, she’s either a pretty decent actress or a complete nut job. Preview of Part Two

Linnocent’s Playboy shoot was “classy” & had a Marilyn Monroe theme, of course Posted: 08 Nov 2011 06:11 AM PST Time for our daily Linnocent post. And I'm trying not to gloat, because it's unattractive in a woman my age to be all "I was right, SUCK IT." Plus, I was right about the most obvious thing in the world. When I first heard that Linnocent was posing for Playboy, one of my first thoughts was, "Oh, I bet she's totally doing a Marilyn Monroe theme for her photo shoot." Yep. I was right. Hugh Hefner confirmed to The Insider: Earlier this month, Dina Lohan confirmed to The Insider that her daughter Lindsay will be featured in an upcoming issue of Playboy. Now, The Insider’s Brooke Anderson is the first to get Hugh Hefner to spill even more salacious details on the highly anticipated spread. First things first — Hefner confirmed that Lindsay did go fully nude for the photo shoot, which he called “classy.” “It’s a classic tribute inspired by the original Tom Kelly nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe, a portion of which was the original playmate which was in the original issue of Playboy. Oh yes. And classy, very classy.” Hefner said. Lindsay’s Playboy spread will appear in the January/February 2012 issue. [From The Insider] Page Six had further details of the Playboy shoot, and why there needed to be two shoots after Hef hated the first one. According to a source, "He felt the initial shots looked too much like a Kate Moss-inspired fashion story — Lindsay's choice — where he wanted more of a classic Hollywood Marilyn Monroe feel." So for the second photo shoot, Linnocent brough along "lawyers, agents and publicists" who, according to a source, "gave their two cents about what was considered 'nude' and what was not." The Cracken will definitely be naked in the photos, but in some she'll be "strategically covered up." Radar's source says that “The pictures Lindsay took last week are much better than the first set." So… from (Even More) Crackie Kate Moss to Crackie Marilyn. This is going to be terrible. Meanwhile, Crackie Von Cracks-A-Lot's delusional, insane rep went to Radar to pay more lip service to Linnocent's commitment to her community service. According to Steve Honig, “Lindsay is highly motivated to fulfill her community service obligations so she can put all of this behind her and continue to move forward with her career." Last story: Fox News has an interesting story about how Linnocent's four-year-long crackie legal catastrophe is a huge waste of time and money, and taxpayers should be furious: Lindsay Lohan flitted in and out of her 30-day jail sentence in a mere four hours early Monday morning. The 25-year-old actress was booked into the Century Regional Detention facility in Lynwood at 8:50 p.m. on Sunday evening, and was home in Venice Beach by 2 am. Lohan was released due to jail overcrowding. Given her years-long saga in the California court system that led to her hours-long incarceration, Lohan could have cost taxpayers over $250,000 per hour of the jail time she just served, experts say. "This should cause an outrage," criminal defense attorney Joey Jackson told Fox411.com. "Why should Lindsay Lohan's hand be held? Why should she be given umpteenth chances and everyone else the book gets thrown at them? It doesn't seem to be fair." Lohan was sentenced to report to jail for her 30-day sentence after failing to complete a court mandated community service that had been ordered for drunken driving and theft charges. The judge gave Lohan the option of taking community service at the county morgue and mandated psychotherapy, or risk serving an additional 270 days in jail. Not only that, the judge gave Lohan a week to report to jail so she could complete a nude photo shoot for Playboy magazine. Had she been unable to complete the shoot, she could have been held in breach of contract by the men’s magazine, which reportedly paid her almost a million dollars for the spread. Jackson tells Fox411 that if Lohan were not a celebrity, she absolutely would have been booked for the full 300 days without lenience this time around. "The real issue is the normal Joe Schmo who doesn't have her clout, her money, and her fame which gets a judge to cheer for her," Jackson said. "For a normal person a judge would say, 'You're going to jail for a year.'" And while Lohan can afford to pay her attorneys to keep her out of jail, her consistent bad behavior is costing California taxpayers hundreds of thousands – and possibly millions — of dollars, all while gumming up the state's overloaded justice system. Since Lindsay Lohan's legal troubles began with a drunk driving arrest in 2007 she has made more than 20 court appearances stemming from additional arrests, violating probation, failing drug and alcohol screenings, and failing to follow court orders. "From logistics to the transcript reporters to the clerks, it is exorbitantly expensive to have a court appearance. It is important we understand what a waste of time this is," former federal prosecutor Michael Wildes of Wildes & Weinberg told Fox411.com. "It costs tens of thousands of dollars per court appearance for all the clerks, the security, and those court reporters who get paid by the page, not to mention all the collateral support for something like this. Plus it diverts the administration of justice for other matters." "It has likely cost taxpayers millions of dollars," attorney Vikki Ziegler contends. "This has been a four year ordeal that taxpayers in California must foot. That includes salaries for judges, prosecutors, court officers, court reporters, clerks, [and] other law enforcement professionals, who must all be paid, to have touched the Lohan case directly or indirectly in one shape or another." [From Fox News] Linnocent: Because Crack Is Worth It! Do you think that if you really add it up, she's costing taxpayers millions? I think it's more like "hundreds of thousands" - which, incidentally, what I hope Shawn Holley's legal fees cost too. But yeah… Linnocent is a huge sucking void of money, time and crack shenanigans. We know this already. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jennifer Lopez in Atelier Versace at the Glamour event: beautiful or busted? Posted: 08 Nov 2011 05:30 AM PST Just shoot me in the face, because I think Jennifer Lopez looks fantastic here. Jennifer was one of the big "gets" last night for Glamour Magazine's Women of the Year event. J.Lo wore this Atelier Versace gown that was kind of overkill for the event, although there were several big "named" who ended up wearing formal gowns, so maybe I'm misjudging the "bigness" of the event. Anyway, the dress. Go ahead and yell at me. She looks great in it. Her body looks amazing in it - Versace really works on her historically, something about her curves in Versace's usually close-cut, sexy tailoring. That thigh-high slit? Sexy! I even like the way the shoulders are cut - usually I dislike that kind of high neck in a gown, but this is great on Jennifer. Have I gushed enough? Nope. Because I also love the she wore her hair mostly down. Jennifer does the Croydon facelift much, much too often, and I personally think she looks better when she works a softer hairstyle. I love her hair here too. According to Us Weekly, Jennifer was the center of attention during the dinner too: As one of the year’s honorees, Lopez looked uncharacteristically nervous at the podium. “It’s been kind of a long night, right?” she joked, in a nod to the night’s impressive list of honorees, including Jennifer Aniston, former First Lady Laura Bush, Arianna Huffington, Gloria Steinem and others. “We all felt a little overwhelmed tonight,” Lopez, who seemed on the verge of tears throughout her speech. The singer, actress, designer and American Idol judge has, of course, had a challenging year, after she and Marc Anthony announced the end their marriage of seven years in July. She told the crowd what gets her through the tough times. “It’s the women. Through the ups and the not so ups, that’s the one thing that got me through,” she admitted. “My grandmother, who taught me to cook and not be afraid to serve and be humble. And to go out looking nice because people like that and then they respect you.” Another motivator? “My daughter Emme [3] inspires me to be a better human being.” [From Us Weekly] LMAO at "My grandmother, who taught me to cook and not be afraid to serve and be humble." She had to be taught how to NOT BE AFRAID to be humble. That's why I kind of love Jennifer. Oh, and did you hear that J. Lo is in serious talks to star as Carmen Sandiego? True story. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Brett Ratner now claims he didn’t “bang” Olivia Munn: “She’s actually talented” Posted: 08 Nov 2011 04:04 AM PST Last week, we talked about this sketchy Brett Ratner-Olivia Munn scandal - go here for Friday's story. Here are the basics: Olivia Munn's recent book included the following passage about a director that she left unnamed: “Wait," he begged. Slowly, like in a bad horror movie, I turned around once more. And I remember first noticing him wearing an Oxford shirt and holding a fistful of cocktail sauce-smothered shrimp. He popped one down his throat and then another, the red sauce collecting like so much baby's blood at the corner of his smirking mouth before dribbling down his front and settling as glistening stains on his shirt. […] This A-List schmuck then has the nerve to say: "You have such an interesting look– what ethnicity are you?" And this is where things crossed over from merely disturbing to downright horrific–that was the exact moment I noticed what was either a tiny gnarled doggie toy or this adult man's penis being stroked by his own stubby hand. He was masturbating. Right there. With shrimp in one hand. And me standing in front of him. Masturbating. Mastur-bating. I'm not even kidding. And the dude was going for it, too, furiously pulling at the tragic stub. Before I could even begin to make sense of the whole deal, he was moaning, moaning and then–fire hose. On steroids. The Mt. Saint Helens of man-juice. [From Olivia Munn's Suck It Wonder Woman, via The Superficial] When Brett Ratner was asked about this passage last Thursday, as he promoted Tower Heist, he told this convoluted story (that had no specific denial of his lack of endowment): "I used to date Olivia Munn … when she was Lisa. That was the problem. She wasn't Asian back then. She was hanging out on my set of After the Sunset, I banged her a few times … but I forgot her. Because she changed her name … I didn't know it was the same person. So when she came and auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off and she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And my shortcomings. She talked about my shortcomings. I get it. She's bitter." So everybody pretty much thought that Brett sucked, but many of us think Olivia sucks too, so they kind of deserve each other. Still, Brett definitely came off worse… right? I don't know, it was still pretty even, in my opinion. Anyway, Brett is taking back his comments! He went on Howard Stern yesterday, and he played a game of takesies-backsies with the whole Olivia Munn thing: The last few days have not been the best for director Brett Ratner. Today, while doing a phone interview on The Howard Stern Show, the Tower Heist helmer said he lied about having sex with actress Olivia Munn when he appeared on G4′s Attack of the Show last week. Ratner does call Munn "a friend," and says the geek cult icon told him he is not the unnamed director she's refers to in her book as having "undersized manhood." Ratner continued: "She's actually talented. The problem is I made her look like she's a whore." Ratner also apologized today for using a gay slur during a Q&A after a Friday-night screening of his new action-comedy Tower Heist. According to various reports, when asked by a moderator about whether he rehearsed with his cast before shooting a scene, Ratner dismissively said, "Rehearsal is for fags." Facing criticism for the remark, Ratner released a statement, saying, "I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words." In response to Ratner's remarks, GLAAD issued a statement saying, "This apology is a good start, but we're working with Ratner's people for more action, to clearly send a message to Hollywood that the anti-gay slurs used by bullies and bigots have no place in the world of entertainment, or anywhere else." The incidents aren't just throwing a wrench in the publicity campaign for Tower Heist. Ratner has been hired to produce this year's Academy Awards telecast along with veteran TV producer Don Mischer, and, since the Oscars are supposed to represent the film industry's highest values and achievements (and since the star who's been hired to host the show, Eddie Murphy, has his own history of drawing fire for using homophobic slurs), his remarks are sure to draw extra scrutiny. [From Entertainment Weekly] So, he's now claiming they never boned, with or without cocktail sauce, and that she's never even seen his dong. And he's also apologizing for saying rehearsing is for homosexuals. I can't even. Okay, I'm calling it. Brett Ratner sucks way worse than Olivia Munn. That hurt to admit. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Natalie Portman & Benjamin Millepied go for a paparazzi-friendly jog Posted: 08 Nov 2011 03:57 AM PST Ah, Ballet K-Fed. I've missed him! I haven't written about Benjamin Millepied in forever! That was smart of him - he must have went away for a little while, kept his head down and stayed out of the spotlight. Smart. Best not to look overly eager or like you're thoroughly enjoying your new-found celebrity. These are photos of Benjamin and Natalie Portman going for a run in Los Feliz yesterday. They must have moved out of NYC and transplanted to LA at some point, and surprisingly, they seem to be getting pap'd quite a lot in LA. Usually, the photos are so exclusive there's no way that we can get them, but these running photos came out and we have access to them, so huzzah! If you'd like to see the most recent (blurry) pics of Natalie, Benjamin and baby Aleph, go here. I like Natalie is out running and she looks like she hasn't lost all of the baby weight - she's lost almost all of it, don't get me wrong. But she looks soft and like those last ten pounds are difficult to lose, and I like that. I like that Natalie won't get to be "Oh, I lost the weight so easily, everything about motherhood is a dream, from the conception to every simper and pout of my child, you can have this life too!" No, those last ten pounds are putting up a fight, God bless them. Do you think Natalie and Benjamin will ever end up getting married? Or was the engagement just a PR ploy for her Oscar campaign? We'll see, won't we? Photos courtesy of Fame.

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